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AIBU?

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Original poster

Hen party snub

138 replies

Antonia87 · 20/06/2015 13:27

I am currently organising my Hen Do and really think it would be hilarious to hire a butler in the buff to serve drinks and organise games. However, one of my long time good friends has stated that she wont be coming if we do hire one as its tacky and against her principles. I was rather offended as I thought everyone would rather enjoy it and its not like hiring a stripper. I'm sure we will be more embarrassed than him!

OP posts:
Headdesk · 20/06/2015 14:03

Yuk, but in fairness the type of guy I usually find attractive are weird, skinny goth guys which I'm guessing these waiters aren't (I imagine shiny and muscly) so it would be intirely lost on me. Even so I find the who,e idea kind of icky.

Ponyboycurtis · 20/06/2015 14:04

I had one at my hen - do, it wasn't organised by me and I had the shock of my life when I walked into the kitchen of the holiday home we were staying in. I have to say he was lovely, very polite, he said his girlfriend had suggested it to help him through Uni. Trouble was, he reminded me (& SIL) of my nephew and all I wanted to say was 'go home we'll pay you anyway'. It really wasn't my thing and a total misjudge of character from the hens that organised it but I wasn't offended and wouldn't be bothered if I went to another hen do where they had one.
Don't think I could cope with a stripper though.

TurnipCake · 20/06/2015 14:06

To quote Ross from Friends: Why does anyone have to be naked?!

butterfly133 · 20/06/2015 14:10

Gilrack - yes he was. I think he slept around a lot and saw it as great way to pick up. He also encouraged, er, close up views and showed off his bits a lot. In some ways, that's why he's booked and how he gets tips I guess. Better that than someone who's just desperate to pay the bills.

whois · 20/06/2015 14:14

One of my friends had a butler in the buff. Don't. It's not funny, it's just awkward. And we didn't really have anything for him to do so once he had handed round a few drinks it was seriously awkward.

squoosh · 20/06/2015 14:23

The butler in the buff at the party I attended asked us why everyone was so quiet and why weren't people asking to have their photo taken with him. It all became a bit 'it's not you, it's us' as we reassured him that (orange) bare bummed men handing around drinks wasn't everyone's bag.

Twodogsandahooch · 20/06/2015 14:27

Just remembered I've been to a butler in the buff hen do. It was ok, but a bit awkward really.

Probably only beaten by when we hired a strippagram for my friends 18th birthday. What he must have thought turning up to a room of 17/18 year olds.

He was about 4 with bleached hair and alime green g string

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 20/06/2015 14:27

Ugh, I can't imagine why you would even want to do that! I would rethink too. I went to a 21st party that had a male stripogram and didn't know where to put myself then (I was also 21) - and many years later I'm still not comfortable with that sort of thing.

Although I have done life art classes with nude models and that hasn't worried me in the slightest - they're there to be drawn, not to be ogled at and have their bits under threat from the cake forks!

Twodogsandahooch · 20/06/2015 14:28

Snap thumb!
Ps he was about 40 not 4!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 20/06/2015 14:28

Haha, I thought that must be a typo, glad you clarified though! Grin

butterfly133 · 20/06/2015 14:29

I've not been in the presence of a stripper IRL but I'm guessing it's not like a party from Magic Mike......

BrowersBlues · 20/06/2015 14:33

My friends did this for me for my 21st about 25 years ago. I still cringe and can't believe that people I really liked at the time and had known me for donkeys years got me so wrong. It was the single last thing I would have wanted.

If I ever found myself in that situation again I would just walk out. Don't do it.

Someone did it for a friend's son's 30th recently and by all accounts he was mortified as were all his friends. Actually another friend's son walked out of his stag night because he heard it was on the cards.

BrowersBlues · 20/06/2015 14:34

Now Magic Mike is a different kettle of fish!

BreadmakerFan · 20/06/2015 14:39

Yuk.

nikki1978 · 20/06/2015 14:45

I've been to a hen do with one of these. He was about 19 and we are all in our 30's. God knows whose idea it was. Anyway it was quite awkward at first. Eventually we were all giving the poor lad advice on his life choices and career Grin. Anyway I certainly wouldn't get one. I wouldn't think much of my husband and his friends going somewhere where a woman was serving them drinks wearing nothing but an apron.

OwlAtEase · 20/06/2015 14:48

It's good that you're having a rethink, OP!

I definitely wouldn't be comfortable with this, but then my hen was just a bunch of us sitting around playing geeky board games and eating delicious food. A man with his bits out would have been awkwardly out of place. I would've wanted to wrap him in a towel and give him a cup of tea.

Nikkinoo77 · 20/06/2015 14:49

When's your hen do?
I'm coming! Smile

Weebirdie · 20/06/2015 14:49

I wouldnt go either and not because Im a prude. In fact Im told Im really good company in a night out. I just wouldn't go because it doesn't appeal to me and I feel sorry for anyone who has to do things like that for a living.

molyholy · 20/06/2015 15:04

Glad you're having a rethink OP. It sounds totally cringe.

RhiWrites · 20/06/2015 15:12

I managed to avoid 5 hen parties in a row with burlesque dancers (something I don't care for). Then my sister had one and I went.

I'm not a prude (I had no problem with the public nipple licking thread) but something about naked people dancing or serving me for my entertainment isn't fun to me.

NRomanoff · 20/06/2015 15:19

A burlesque dancer, but not a stripper? Why not a stripper? You obviously know the difference because you specified a burlesque dancer?

I think a makes butler is God awful and would not be coming. That same as dh wouldn't go to a strip club. Yabu

Gem124 · 20/06/2015 15:36

My friend had one organised for her hen do and it was a fab night... He made yummy cockatails and organised games for us. He was our age though rather than older women and a younger man. Just a bit of fun, I think if you want one go for it, your boring friend will miss out.

mrsfuzzy · 20/06/2015 15:40

sounds totally gross, i'd check your 'idea' out with your mates first, least you might find they walk out on you. as for your fiance and burlesque, not really much better is it? a lot of men would feel awkward around strippers at the best of times, then being made to feel you've got to enjoy watching... um

mrsfuzzy · 20/06/2015 15:43

burlesque is more tasteful than stripping it must be said. gem why is op's friend boring because she doesn't like the idea? most posters on here think it's tacky and nasty.

MitzyLeFrouf · 20/06/2015 15:46

Stripping is stripping whether it's burlesque or Chippendales. At least be consistent.