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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Hen party snub

138 replies

Antonia87 · 20/06/2015 13:27

I am currently organising my Hen Do and really think it would be hilarious to hire a butler in the buff to serve drinks and organise games. However, one of my long time good friends has stated that she wont be coming if we do hire one as its tacky and against her principles. I was rather offended as I thought everyone would rather enjoy it and its not like hiring a stripper. I'm sure we will be more embarrassed than him!

OP posts:

spad · 20/06/2015 13:45

That sounds awful. I wouldn't go either.

My friend had to pay her share in a Hen Do like this , it cost her £70.

What makes it fun? Organised fun is awful, imho.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 20/06/2015 13:46

Sorry but I think it's an awful idea and I wouldn't fancy it either, why is a nude man serving drinks and organising games considered a giggle? It's grim! .

old gimmer

reni1 · 20/06/2015 13:46

A unanimous AIBU! Wow.

TurnipCake · 20/06/2015 13:46

Oh Lordy, I would politely decline an invitation like this. I just don't 'get' the butler in the buff thing, more cringeworthy than my teenage diaries

Bogeyface · 20/06/2015 13:47

As a PP said, its no different to a bunch of men hiring a naked waitress.

How "hilarious" would you find it if your STBDH and his mates did this for their stag?

squoosh · 20/06/2015 13:48

I've been to a hen night where there butlers in the buff. It was all a bit tacky and unappealing.

But if it was the hen of a close friend of course I'd still go. Just don't look at his arse. Solved.

BadgerOfHonour · 20/06/2015 13:48

Grim.

mycatlikestwiglets · 20/06/2015 13:48

Meh, I've been to a hen do with a Butler in the Buff and we all enjoyed it. He was definitely more embarrassed than us though when he realised he and I had mutual friends (it was nowhere near where he lived so he wasn't expecting to be "recognised" )

Sparklingbrook · 20/06/2015 13:48

Ooh no ta.

ilovesooty · 20/06/2015 13:48

I went to a hen party where I was asked in advance about contributing to the cost of a stripper. I'd already accepted the invitation but made it clear I wasn't keen. On the night I felt compelled to pay. It was really tacky and not an experience I'd want to repeat. If I'd known at the outset I wouldn't have gone at all.

Original poster

Antonia87 · 20/06/2015 13:49

Wow! Really thought everyone would think it was fun as another friend had one years ago and everyone seemed to enjoy it. Did not expect such a strong reaction! I guess I will rethink!

OP posts:

BumbleBeeBat · 20/06/2015 13:49

I would hate it too and not go unless it was my best friend. I would find it awkward and uncomfortable.

HayFeverHell · 20/06/2015 13:49

I'd try to find a polite way to decline too.

Cringe-worthy.

Original poster

Antonia87 · 20/06/2015 13:50

I actually told my Fiance he was welcome to a burlesque dancer. They are all very tame boys and would be quite embarrassed actually

OP posts:

Gabilan · 20/06/2015 13:51

When I was considering doing some art modelling I did discover that there is a demand for models for hen dos. Presumably that way the hens can ogle a naked man whilst pretending to produce art. They certainly didn't want female models and were quite specific about the age range of the men.

I didn't actually do the art modelling - I live in too small a community and didn't want to risk it!

Kvetch15 · 20/06/2015 13:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bogeyface · 20/06/2015 13:54

I actually told my Fiance he was welcome to a burlesque dancer.

Thats different though. Burlesque dancing is an art, a skill that takes a long time to learn to do properly. It is titillating without being explicit. How would you feel about a naked waitress, full tit and minge, serving drinks and being the subject of the sort of comments and behaviour that your friends indulged in the last time you were at a naked butler party?

Gilrack · 20/06/2015 13:55

I guess I will rethink! - Good for you, Antonia :)

It probably is possible to have loads of laughs without treating a human being like an object.

What about a magician? Or just, you know, making each other laugh!

squoosh · 20/06/2015 13:57

Pah. A burlesque dancer shows it all off. I love that it's 'classier' because it takes a long time to learn to strip burlesque stylee

All you see with a butler in the buff is their bum. There's a little apron protecting their modesty.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 20/06/2015 13:57

I think you're searching for opinions in the wrong place. Mumsnetters tend to have taste.

What about a singing waiter? I've seen those advertised for weddings but guess they might be expensive just for a hen do.

Battleshiphips · 20/06/2015 13:57

I would worry about finding some topiary in my drink!

AntiHop · 20/06/2015 13:57

I also think yabu. Why is there such an obsession with sexual objectification at hen and stag dos. A strange way up celebrate an up coming wedding.

butterfly133 · 20/06/2015 13:57

I would decline
I know someone who went to one of these and the guy was really into it, which of course is better than if it was the only way he could make money, but she said that didn't make it much better

Bogeyface · 20/06/2015 13:59

One hen party my friend went to, quiet meal at home followed by caning the wine a few drinks had a good game.

The MoH had cut out loads of pictures of men from magazines and catalogues etc and cut them into head, torso, legs etc (not naked pics, just pics) and you had to put together your perfect man from them. The winner was the one who's paper man looked most like her partner. It ended with quite a queue for the loo as slightly knackered pelvic floors failed to deal with the hysterics it caused when reality was compared to fantasy!

Gilrack · 20/06/2015 13:59

the guy was really into it - Eeuw! You mean he was getting off on the exhibitionism?!

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