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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To get really pissed off with old ladies telling me my DS 'isn't very happy' when he is crying?

259 replies

feezap · 18/06/2015 19:19

My 9 month old DS has 'a good pair of lungs', he is also a bit of a drama queen and likes everyone to know how he's feeling, good or bad. I'm not worried by this, or being paranoid, a friend has described him as like an air raid siren going off!

I'm used to this and he rarely has a meltdown when we are out and about but today he was teething badly and I was in town about half an hour before he could have any medication. An old dear looked at him and then me and told me that he wasn't very happy. Really? Do you think I haven't noticed? Just bugger off. Angry

OP posts:
Yarp · 20/06/2015 14:33

pudie

What does it matter if someone reported it or not?

You think ageism is OK?

You think calling someone with a strong opinion about ageism a loon is OK?

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 20/06/2015 14:48

Irony of ageism is perfectly ok, but not mentioning you flew business class...

SenecaFalls · 20/06/2015 14:51

I am the outraged loon, purdie. I reported it.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 20/06/2015 14:54

You were quite right Sene

mrsfuzzy · 20/06/2015 14:56

is op a first time mum? i ask that because other wise it would probably not bother her so much, people do make well meaning remarks, you do not need to be rude, just grit the teeth and smile. after a while you learn to zone out

mrsfuzzy · 20/06/2015 15:00

sorry folks but you are all going to be 'old dears' one day then plenty of youngsters will complain about you tottering around and getting in the way. some of you need to learn some respect.

ilovesooty · 20/06/2015 15:11

one of the last bastions of prejudice

Absolutely.

I'm also not really concerned with the opinion of someone who thinks it's ok to use the word "loon" to criticise someone reporting ageism.
The OP recognised that her wording could cause offence. Subsequent comments by others have been far worse.

teatowel · 20/06/2015 15:19

It's not even respect really just tolerance. We seem to really struggle with that now. Anyone who acts slightly differently to ourselves is deemed odd, mad or a nuisance. There is more anger about! People are no longer irritated for a few moments about daft remarks in supermarkets they are in full blown anger with the need to "vent" on a forum hours later. What is that all about?

purdiepie · 20/06/2015 15:33

I am a dementia friend and also voluntarily cook for several elderly people on my estate. I still think it was outrageous to report the OP, particularly as the reporter hadn't shown her face on the thread or challenged the OP directly. Or did I miss that?

purdiepie · 20/06/2015 15:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SenecaFalls · 20/06/2015 15:54

You missed that purdie. See my post at Fri 19-Jun-15 17:56:35.

purdiepie · 20/06/2015 15:57

Ah. Sorry. I have to admit I tend to skip your posts.

SenecaFalls · 20/06/2015 16:01

I consider that a compliment, purdie. Smile

awombwithaview · 20/06/2015 16:11

My DS was wailing a garden centre down once and an old lady informed me he was tired. I informed her he had just had a two hour nap. People are just being chatty but when you're exhausted and fed up it can grate, I understand that.

GeorgianaDevonshire · 20/06/2015 16:17

So being told frequently by unhelpful old bastards that I ought to take him to the doctors or the hospital is not going to be well received and they deserve everything they get

Jengnr - I was going to report your offensive post but think it's best to let it stand because it illustrates the point many of us are making about ageism. It also shows what a nasty attitude you have and you should try and do something about it.

CamelHump · 20/06/2015 16:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DidoTheDodo · 20/06/2015 16:22

I am also standing in the "reporting" corner. Or should that be out in the open? Not in the least ashamed of reporting ageist posts.

Certainly not "lurking and drooling"!

JohnCusacksWife · 20/06/2015 16:39

Oh dear! Was in Asda this morning and made a comment to a crying baby along the lines of "No, I don't like shopping much either" and gave his mum a sympathetic smile as I went past. I can see now that I have committed a real faux pas and have probably caused great distress. If she is on this thread I apologise profusely. I'm 45. Do I qualify as an "old dear"?

RackofPeas · 20/06/2015 17:02

JohnCusack - I would not have had a problem with that comment. It's just a comment. A sympathetic comment. It's the ones where someone says 'ooh baby must be hungry/tired' that irritate me as there is an air of criticism about them. When ds2 used to cry a lot in the supermarket it was simply that he hated being the trolley. If you'd have said that to me I'd have smiled back and been relieved that there was someone out there was wasn't criticising me!

Jengnr · 20/06/2015 18:18

What nasty attitude would that be exactly GeorginaDevonshire? The attitude that complete strangers like to use to imply I'm incapable of looking after my child? Because yes, it is nasty. It's not mine though. I'm a lovely sunshiny person.

drudgetrudy · 20/06/2015 18:23

So, saying "Someone's not happy" is implying that you are incapable of looking after your child??
Some people on here could do with a course of CBT-they seem to be hearing things that aren't being said.
It must be a hard life putting such a negative twist on everything.

ilovesooty · 20/06/2015 18:24

The attitude where you seem to think ageism is acceptable. Being critical of and upset by someone's behaviour is one thing. Calling them "unhelpful old bastards" is quite another.

Jengnr · 20/06/2015 18:30

No drudgetrudy. You might want to read my earlier post.

If someone is an unhelpful old bastard that is their lookout, not mine. I'm not responsible for their behaviour. If they were lovely old people that is how I would describe them.

ilovesooty · 20/06/2015 18:32

Why do you have to link their age to their behaviour at all?

Jengnr · 20/06/2015 18:37

I'm not. They are unhelpful bastards. They happen to be old, that's a descriptor. Like teenager would be. It's never teenagers because, as I said in my post, it's always old people that interfere because they're the ones in the supermarket in the daytime.