To be sick of people questioning me going back to work full time after mat leave

[PattyHewesnomore]

I am due back to work next week after having 13 months off mat leave. I have loved every moment and wish I didn't have to go back.
I am the main earner at home (I used savings to fund my mat leave) we have a mortgage of £2k per month alongside all the other expenses, there really is no choice.
On top of that I don't think work would allow me to go part time even if I wanted to. I am so sad at the thought of leaving my dd who I haven't been apart from for longer than 4 hrs ever.
I feel judged when people ask if I am going back full time, then raise their eyebrows, visibly wince or tell me how they could never do it. Not one person has said anything positive at all so please Mnetters tell me it will be ok?!?

Ignore them - twats

I work FT - in time solutions present themselves

Do t be too hard on yourself and remember it's 2015 baby

Not 19 fucking 15

I do FT, went back after 13 months off 5 days a week 8.30-5. DD goes to nursery 3x days a week and MILs for 2x days. It's fine, of course I wish I had more time with her but needs must. You get into a routine and get used to it. Good luck

Someone said play the longer game. I agree. You might be wanting to preserve and build up pension rights. You might want protection in case your husband disappears. You might have put a lot of effort into your career, passed exams, taken out huge student loans and don't want to "waste" that.

Also think about when you're my age (53). I have 5 children just about adult - older 2 just finished GCSEs. I have loads of time now. i have at least 20 peak high earning career years just about to start which would not be so easy to enjoy if I had given up work 30 years ago when our oldest was born. You do get that situation where women in their early 50s find their husband is off with 20 year old Janice from the typing pool who wants sex every day and think he's a God because he earns £35k and she's on the minimum wage (and you know he's a boring middle aged man with a paunch) and you're left high and dry with no money as he's hidden it in his company and divorcing you and nor do you have much of a career either or husband is still home and working but you suddenly don't have children and days of going for a run or cleaning the house is losing appeal now the children have gone.

I must say that what seemed important when the older children were young - like the toddler who won't let go of your leg as you try to go to work (or even actually if you're at home to let you go to the loo - they make no distinction) is not important now. Most of our relationships with our children are when they are adult. If you can be happy and fulfilled children tend to be. If you're fed up they will be too - they mirror your mood as children. Now mine are older there are just huge pluses that I always worked full time - one daughter calls me every day with legal questions - she's a lawyer as I am so we have that common bond. i suppose if we were both housewives she might call with questions about brands of furniture polish. Secondly teenagers often want stuff - trainers etc and are probably more interested on whether you can buy it than whether you changed 15 nappies a day when they were 8 months rather than 4. Student age children are happy if parents can help a bit with university costs. Mothers who keep up a full time career tend to have a bit more money than those who don't.

Ignore them. I went back ft when DS was 6mo and it's fine. He knows who his mummy is and has a lovely relationship with his cm. He also adores his daddy who wasn't even here for 7 months of his first year (deployment) but nobody ever questions that