To ask what's the most tactless thing anyone has ever said to you?

[Squirrel78]

I've had someone come up to me today gushing "I didn't know you were expecting again?!" I'm not. Don't know who was more mortified - her or me! My stomach has grown over the last few months probably because I don't exercise enough. Now I'm tearful, depressed and embarking on a diet and the only thing that can cheer me up is s bit of shared misery!!

My DH phoned my SIL to tell her I was pregnant. When I took the phone she asked me when the baby was due and I said New Year's Eve. Her reply was "That will mess Christmas up nicely". We all usually travelled to the PIL (involved a plane trip) for Christmas and SIL took Christmas very seriously.

Trying to find the good in any situation, I imagine that all of you who have experienced such hurtful things and felt awful won’t perpetuate the cycle and say hurtful things to others, which suggests you’re much nicer and hopefully lead happier and fulfilling lives than those who feel the need to say such negative and horrible comments….

Despite having 2 white parents (and 4 white Grandparents), I have proper blonde afro hair – My Mother didn’t really know how to handle it and living in a small (100% white) village growing up, I used to get a lot of comments. The one that has always stood out for me was when I was about 6/7 and was posting something that my Mother had given me. I was just coming out the post office when a massive man with a moustache looked down at me and said ‘You’re such a little freak, aren’t you?’

My Dad also used to call me fat a LOT and considering I started my periods at the age of 9 and had bigger breasts than my Mother by the age of 11, I was so, so self conscious of my body and how I looked… I swear that’s one of the reasons why my relationship with food isn’t great.

At a family event, my Uncle said to me ‘It’s a shame you’re not as pretty as you’re sisters, but at least you’re clever’ ….. then said to my sisters ‘It’s a shame you’re not as clever as Fluffy, but at least you’re pretty’. I’d like to think all 4 of us are clever AND pretty…

You have legs like buttress roots (said to me, aged 15, weighed 8 stone something. I have never ever ever worn shorts or a skirt since. Totally paranoid about my legs now)

It's a shame you're fat now, because if you were slim you'd be so pretty.

If you didn't eat as much chocolate and you washed your face properly, those spots would go you know (said whilst I was suffering from awful acne, which only cleared after 2 bouts of roaccutane)

You actually have quite a nice body in a bikini. You look a lot fatter when you're clothed. (said by a bitch of friend who was a size 6 when I was a size 10)

I have major body/image issues and have done ever since being about 9 thanks to lots and lots of nasty comments !!

We excitedly announced we were expecting our first to my parents and 'D' F said it was 'non-news' until 12 weeks.

Frankly it's still non-news to him. DD is now 7 and he's still not interested in her or her little brother.

Friend of a friend, we were all dressing up to go out dancing:

Her:"oh Thumb, you should wear a Wonderbra, they really help"
Me: "I am wearing one"

Miscarried at approximately 6 weeks. Had to go for a scan.
"Are you sure you were pregnant?"
"Well I had two positive tests and then a lot of bleeding and pain"
"Well I can't see anything. I suppose you could have been there's nothing there."
And then to top it all off
"Normally we'd ask the Dad to come in now but there's nothing to see so there's no point." Then she pushed away from the computer screen on her wheelie chair and walked out the room leaning me in tears.

Not in the same league as the others but still sticks with me. "What time did you do the marathon in?"

"4h 32m."

"Bloody hell, I could walk it in that."

Said to me by an unfit fat, short man

i was in a club with an ex when his friend leaned over to me and said "You're really fucking ugly" I can still hear him in my head years later.

When a patient of my mind rang up to make an appointment. I explained that sadly my mum had died, the woman replied that well that's inconvienent where am I going to get an appointment now

I said no idea and placed the
phone down

My mum, not mind

"You could do with having your hair done" MIL

My mum, complaining at me for how I had my hair: "you're just making yourself look plainer than you already are!" She credits her poor self esteem to my nan saying almost exactly the same thing to her...

When I was preparing for my music A level our teacher arranged a recital evening for our parents, where we each played a couple of our exam pieces. I had been really poorly and was struggling to play (oboe) but my teacher and I felt it was important for my nerves to take part in the recital. Before I played my teacher made a announcement explaining that wasn't well and wasn't really able to play properly. I played my two pieces and while I didn't sound good I got a large round of applause and felt really pleased with myself for getting through the performance. Afterwards my dad said "well, that was bloody horrendous. I've never been more embarrassed."

Apparently he meant he was embarrassed for me, he felt bad for me that I wasn't able to perform properly. It didn't come across that way.

My best friends lost their baby very suddenly aged only 3 weeks old. He had a condition they didn't know about and he couldn't have been saved even if they did. We spent a horrendous 3 days with them at various hospitals while doctors tried to save him. The funeral was a month later due to tests and post mortems etc. so they could try and find out exactly what happened.

At the funeral (so actually stood outside the crematorium) a friend of my friend came to talk to me. She'd heard that we had cleared their house of all the babies things (at the parents request) as they understandably didn't want to come home and deal with it all. So we had the Moses basket, pram, clothes etc all in our spare room. She was wondering if the newly bereaved parents would take a hundred quid for it all as her sister was due soon and had nothing prepared yet. She was thinking she could just follow me home and collect it, save them the trouble of sorting through it all.

I told her in no uncertain terms she was to leave that second and if I heard that she had even so much as mentioned this to the bereaved parents I would throttle her.

My friend did find out eventually from someone who over heard the conversation. She thanked me for dealing with her as she could have quite happily beat the living day lights out of her. She hasn't seen her since.

More:

Having shown my sister round our new house (which was big, old and dark, but absolutely beautiful) she wrinkled her nose and said "it's not very nice, is it?"

Hmm....think she was just jealous really.

And more comments from people when they found out I was pregnant (but not knowing I had had 3 rounds of IVF)
Cousin 1 - "you don't want a baby at YOUR age!"
Cousin 2 - "oh, poor you!"

'You haven't been doing much exercise recently have you?' when i was teenager and had put on weight.

To be fair, wish I'd done more about it then, but not sure that was the nicest way to put it.

After being together nearly 20 years DH and I secretly got married for my 50th birthday.

On ringing one of my sisters..... 'I suppose its about time....' no congraulations or anything.

On ringing my brother, my SIL answered the phone, so I told her the news...'oh well, I don't know what your brothers going to say about that!'

.....I'm 50 not 5, I don't care what my brothers thinks.

I was in hospital once and a young teenager who had taken an overdose was brought up to the ward.

The ward sister took over pushing the bed and exclaimed 'well, you've been a VERY silly girl haven't you?'

Some of these are just shocking.

One i will never forget is my aunt saying to my mum "oh you know what teenagers are like, they always lie"

This was after I had been sexually abused for 7 years and finally found the courage to speak out at the age of 13.

I don't think I will ever forgive her for what she said.

enjoy, that's terrible :(

EnjoyTheSimpleThingsInLife
I don't think I will ever forgive her for what she said.

And rightly so. She sounds clueless and underserving of your understanding or compassion. I'm so happy you spoke out about it when you could. So many others harbour it to their graves. You give many others courage.

The thing is she's my mums twin and we live quite close to each other. I just ignore her now. How she could side with a pervert I will never know.

I think she's just one of them people who don't believe that bad things can happen

Thanks for your replies, it does mean a lot.

Enjoy You seem to have it the right way forward. Keep her at arms length. I can't even fathom how she could come out with such a statement. What did your DM say?

Twins born by traumatic csection, feeling depressed, my sister says to me 'you're not very good at having children are you?'

Thank you for your continued support.

at a wedding, just before DP and I broke up after years and years of failed TTC, I had an excruciating conversation with a friend of his sister's which basically went:

Him: so, where've you left the kids?
Me: er, do you mean the dog? Ha ha! She's at the sitter's.
Him: No, silly, I mean your actual kids.
Me: Um, we don't have any.
Him: Don't you?
Me: (trying to be light hearted) No, I think I'd remember if I did!
Him: I was sure you had children. I honestly thought you had two, a boy and a girl?
Me: (quite upset) Nope, we definitely don't.
Him: Were you trying to have them? Is that what I'm thinking of?
Me: (now wondering WTF DP's sister has said to this man about us as well as feeling a bit upset) No, we have a dog. Ha ha. Canape?
Him: How weird. I could have sworn you had children. You look like you should have!
Me: [ couldn't actually think of a response, which is rare for me]

Almost as good as the wedding I went to a year later, six months after the big break-up, when the groom's mother said she 'and I expect most people here, my darling' were 'really feeling for me during the vows'. Er, thanks.

Good grief, some of these comments are awful. Just shocking. What is wrong with people?

Mine are relatively tame. All from my DF, who has always had a bad habit of getting his mouth in gear before his brain. When I announced I was pregnant with DC3, he assumed that the baby was unplanned and said, "Never mind, Drama, mistakes can happen at any time." When I told him that actually the pregnancy was very much planned, he put the phone down on me & refused to speak to me for ages.

When he finally decided to talk to me again, his comment was, "Why are you having another? You can't cope with the two you've got." Thanks, Dad, I cope just fine actually.

And then, when the baby turned out to be DS3, I got more insensitive rubbish about him not being a girl. Luckily for my DF I'm quite forgiving.