To start a thread for grumpy old ladies who think things aren't what they used to be

[susanstryingterm]

I'm probably a bit older than the average age on here, and totally emphasised with someone who said, in slightly despairing tones on a thread yesterday 'I sometimes think nobody knows how to behave anymore'.

So:

I think children should stand up for older (60+) people on public transport.
I think weddings should be a 'cut your cloth to suit your measure' exercise.
I think children should be called in by 9pm at latest during the Summer, so that neighbours can get some consideration.

This article caught my eye this week:

The Most Entitled Generation Isn't Millennials. It's Baby Boomers

Read more: www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2015/01/08/the_most_entitled_generation_isnt_millennials_its_baby_boomers_125184.html#ixzz3ckl4qkJX
Follow us: @RCP_Articles on Twitter

YANBU
I'm 39 and I'm baffled by many of the things mentioned. I do think that a lot of things have improved but I think basic manners and consideration are vanishing and I can't see why.

On your points specifically, I go further

• children indoors by 8pm - there has to be some quiet time in a garden.
• Weddings - not only do I think you do what you can afford, I think guests should be priority, I've known people spend a huge amount on dresses and flowers and yet can't get even a free orange juice at the bar. Not the right way to celebrate - but I don't understand circus weddings full stop.
• giving up seats on public transport for those who need them more - totally! This is a no brainer, but why do I see adults give up seats for children? I'm confused.

another puzzle - very loud music, either through earphones or just played directly - on public transport. Rude, annoying etc for others.

Also, what happened to children not shrieking? I actually got told by a friend that I was "damaging their creativity" by shushing them. I didn't bother responding. Admittedly he developed a different view when he had children, lol. There's a time and place for making a huge racket, specifically parties and what not, but not just in the street. Learning to sit quietly early is a good thing, in my humble opinion - and it has to be taught, I don't think children can be expected to miraculously figure it out on their own!

loving this thread!

however the children on buses thing - is there an age you think this should kick in? DC1 is 5 and I would much rather he sat (as in, I would stand so he could have my seat) as I'm worried he would fall over if there was a sudden stop etc?

basic manners is my pet peeve - if you need to get past a simple 'excuse me' will work wonders rather than barging through. a smile and a thank you can get you a long way.

and please stop letting kids ride scooters at break neck speed along the pavements to school, they are bloody lethal!!

I think weddings should last for one day only, and be held in the country where the bride and/or groom live or reside.

I think teenagers on public transport should modify their language and keep their voices down and generally stop assuming the whole bus/carriage is fascinated by their innane conversation.

I think school uniforms are a good thing.

'country where the bride and/or groom were born or reside' sorry!

I agree with all of the above. What happened to "Keep Britain Tidy" campaign?

No, you don't have a human right to spit in the street.

No, you can't urinate in public, that's indecent exposure

No, I don't want to hear about your latest weight loss/gain, charity, petition, event, if I did I would have asked

No, I don't need to know you've got a "Princess on Board"

No, Kanye and Kim Kardashian don't embody any normal form of reality, get them off the multi media platforms they monopolise

No, I don't need to see your sternum and navel simultaneously, put some bloody clothes on ( Amanda Holden, Beyonce, JLo, Jennifer Aniston et al)

No, I dont want to see your holiday snaps on Instagram, thats not a "Wish you were here", that's another "Isn't my life perfect"

No, dont pretend you are ageing gracefully, you've had work done ( list too long to mention)

No, I don't need to be subjected to other people's poor manners, or poor judgement or poor taste.

chaletdays - weddings should last for 1 day? Gosh, I thought I'd been unlucky with weddings but I've never been invited to one that was more than a day. There's been a dinner the night before and a lunch the day after - is that what you mean? I think my parents have been to 2 day weddings, though.

I actually won't go to any more weddings for more than a couple of hours. I've had a few "we're starting at 10am and finishing at 1am to make the most of our day" and I am never ever going to do that again. It's fine if the couple want that long day but I think guests shouldn't be expected to do a marathon.

Constantly checking your phone when out with people is rude.

Having loud mobile phone conversations on public transport is very annoying and inconsiderate.

Uploading photographs of your meal out/drinks with friends/mate's house warming party onto social media for all your acquaintances to see is sad and pathetic.

I really hate this 'throwaway' culture we have. On This Morning a few weeks ago some daft bint was saying we should buy a new mattress every year for hygeine reasons. Can you imagine how much fucking landfill that would be?

I would say to ReasonableAdult if someone is undertaking you on a motorway (which is dangerous) then you're in the wrong lane.

Butterfly

I was thinking really of the weddings where everyone is expected to travel to Italy and combine it with their Summer holiday; or the ones that finish at 4am and then everyone is expected to gather again the next evening for a post wedding barbecue/disco/booze up.

What happened to weddings that began in the Church at 1pm and finished with the happy couple driving away at 10pm? I liked those weddings

I've just been in M&S for my lunch, I walked past the card section and spotted cards "To my Son / Daughter on your prom"

WTAF is that about? As if there wasn't enough nonsense about proms as it is, now we're sending cards?!??!!

Good point sausage, I would only be undertaken if I am keeping a reasonable distance from someone in front who hasn't moved out of the overtaking lane. You stay on the nearside, overtake in the middle, or in the outside, then return to the lane you started in.

You don't slow traffic by blocking the overtaking lane.

Oh and I think the concept of it taking 'a village to rear a child' should be brought very sharply back into public acceptance.
The increasing practice of parents rushing to defend their children against all criticism or complaints from neighbours, and going ballistic if anyone other than themselves dares to tell off their child is tiresome and very silly.

I'm with Susan on music in shops - in fact everywhere - cafes, restaurants, pubs too.

What a bloody racket! My ears are ringing by the end of an afternoon's shopping.

ResponsibleAdult " Think of others, behave reasonably, and remember your manners, its not hard"

Very true;I agree with everything on here...

over sentimentality/mawkishness
music in shops being blasted out so I can't focus
people shuffling along wearing awful nylon 'fitness' clothing
total lack of consideration and manners- people on the whole would be more inclined to film something on their phones rather than help out
texting constantly whilst walking particularly annoying if the person concerned is pushing a pushchair
the whole celeb culture..pointless, vacuous , self absorbed and self obsessed people

I really wish people would refrain from casually swearing in conversation or to members of staff in certain civic spaces such as hospital waiting rooms or reception areas. It has become so normalised now though that I doubt people realise they are doing it.

I sat in a maternity assessment waiting room for four hours on Tuesday and, no joke, one chap did not stop talking the entire time and every other word was "fucking" -- and to stop it off, he then started talking about donating his semen. Nine heavily pregnant women with concerns abut their pregnancies, who could not wait elsewhere, were subjected to his verbal diarrhea and continual swearing.

You never used to get this sort of thing. People had consideration for others in such places where someone else may be feeling very unwell or frightened.

The infantilization of adults - men over student age buying tv games, computer and phone games - staring out of the window or engaging with your surroundings is just not good enough!
'Reality' tv - navelgazing creation of friction and stars that populate the magazines
Fixation with the idea that if it is unknown there must be some conspiracy or sinister underhand dealings
Difference between truth, fact, opinion or conjecture

Great thread.

So many of the above. Kids not standing up for old people probably the one that horrifies me most.

Plus, I remember when shop assistants held back for shoppers instead of barging into them.

When they left you to browse and consider instead of trying to flog something to you the minute you stepped into the shop.

When pavements were only for pedestrians, pets and SMALL children on bikes, not hulking great Bradley wannabes and the 4-6 abreast brigade.

When people with kids avoided commute time when they were on half-term or other school holidays, out of consideration.

When new stuff just happened rather than an endless recycling and rehashing and "re-imagining" of the same old stuff!

Aah. I have this conversation in my head sometimes, what is actually better?

Well, there's good coffee available everywhere; you don't have to travel abroad for it any more.

I like Scandi noir.

Much of the Internet is fun, apart from the twattishness, horrific bullying etc.

I'm still cross over the loss of Woolworths from small town High streets.

The idea that older people might be more entitled to a parking space near the door of the supermarket than fit and healthy 30 somethings with toddlers in tow seems like a no brainer to me.
But I am constantly amazed at the number of young parents who don't agree.

No, I don't want to be accosted by chuggers, I have three direct debits for charities I care about

No, I don't want to be cold called by automated "You have been selected..."

No, I am not interested in today's point of sale special offer of a grab bag of crisps or large chocolate bar, don't you know there is an obesity crisis?

No, it is not reasonable to conduct a point of sale transaction without making eye contact, or speaking to you at all (petrol station got a letter of complaint about that)

Yes, actually I do mind if you get your phone out during a meal to surf, text, tweet, Instagram, or update your Facebook

No, I dont want to answer your short customer service survey at the end of my call, I want you to answer the bloody phone and not keep me waiting listening to music.

There is great food available now, it was pretty awful in the 70s.

Swearing: worksallhours makes a great point. Swearing was far more contextualised and you wouldn't have seen what she describes above, ever. Someone behaving like that in public would have been assumed to be drunk, mad or worse.

Children in by 8pm? that should help the obesity problem.

ResponsibleAdult is on a roll!

Kids in by 9pm. Kids ate less.