To start a thread for grumpy old ladies who think things aren't what they used to be

[susanstryingterm]

I'm probably a bit older than the average age on here, and totally emphasised with someone who said, in slightly despairing tones on a thread yesterday 'I sometimes think nobody knows how to behave anymore'.

So:

I think children should stand up for older (60+) people on public transport.
I think weddings should be a 'cut your cloth to suit your measure' exercise.
I think children should be called in by 9pm at latest during the Summer, so that neighbours can get some consideration.

Wonderful thread, I agree we have lost so much that was good from the past - good manners, self respect, modesty and humility and no, that doesn't mean I think people should know their place. It just s seems that having your opinion heard above all others matters more nowadays.

Something I find really sad is how young people seem to increasingly value people by how many hours they spend in the office every day. This culture than anyone who goes home at 5 o'clock is on a 'half day' and self important boasting about the long hours people work is a bit tragic.

The knacktoflying - it goes both ways, I was in M&S in torquay yesterday morning at 8am and there were groups of people between 40 and 60 who decided it was their right to stand in the middle of the aisles and have a Saturday morning chat and not moving to allow people to pass when asked things like "please could I get past". Personally I feel as a 24 year old that manners have been lost by all generations.

I haven't RTFT but on the first page a couple of posters were moaning about how nowadays people are censored for saying racist, disablist things.

Um, no. People are nowadays more often challenged for spouting racist, disablist, sexist bollocks. This isn't a bad thing.

If you're being challenged by a member of a minority or other group for saying something ignorant - don't instantly get defensive and deny any intent at offence, and try to cast those challenging you as horrible attackers, or oversensitive.

Understandably you're going to be upset, they're not pointing it out for the fun of it. Your intent may have been innocent, but, and I mean this kindly, your intention isn't the point. Your words have weight, and bear in mind members of groups hear this sort of stuff a million times over - so first just listen to what people are telling you about what you said. Criticism isn't fun to listen to, but swallow your ego, examine what came out of your mouth, and if on reflection you messed up, apologise.

You can't know everything, but you can learn. Denying you did anything wrong is bad form, as this is a complete dismissal of their POV, and by extension, a dismissal of their life experiences. It's a form of gas lighting and not an okay thing to do.

I also look at shows like the black and white minstrel show and thank heavens we've moved on from that.

I was effectively bullied by a teacher at my school who told my parents I'd be nothing 'more than average' and who tried to put me down at every opportunity. Luckily I have quite a strong character and whilst I didn't misbehave simply went on to prove that teacher wrong, in past generations that teacher's words and influence could have had far more damaging effects.

I'm very sad we don't make more time for family and loathe the way online lives have become more important than the people in front of them but then again as I say mine isn't the only generation that I see who is guilty of that.

I guess in summary I agree that as a society as a whole we've made plenty of changes which I loathe but I'd laugh quite a bit if this thread became a 'young people are this this and this' thread.

One thing I am very, very grateful for is the smoking ban. Being in a smoke filled room used to make me feel sick and headachy. I hated going on buses because even if the smokers were upstairs the smell was still there.

Bog brushes, I agree, this isn't bemoaning the youth of today. The thread is a general, mostly lighthearted, grumble about the small irritations in life that cumulatively make you annoyed.

In addition to my previous extensive lists of irritations (who knew I was that grumpy?), please may I add flytipping?

We have had three incidents in three days, escalating to today, I found four double mattresses dumped in a parking bay. That takes two people, a van, planning and organisation, why not just carry on driving to the dump and dispose of it properly?

They flytipped because going to the dump would mean the council would charge for the van. How appallingly selfish.