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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To blank someone at the school gates who has stopped speaking to me?

62 replies

Nuggie1 · 10/06/2015 16:46

A mum aquaintance who used to be a reasonably good friend (but we had drifted apart), had a go at me on Facebook for not inviting her to my birthday dinner. She adid this in a group on FB which contained fsome mutual friends.
We had a spat, where I said I didn't have to invite her. Then I unfriended her and the next time I saw her I looked at her to see if she would smile and she turned her ack.
I don't want to make up with her as I did nothing wrong but lots of mutual friends want me to talk to her to sort it out. Why should I? I did nothing wrong!

OP posts:
Samwaygangeee · 10/06/2015 16:47

Why didn't you invite her?

WorraLiberty · 10/06/2015 16:47

Don't bother then.

As long as your friends aren't being made to feel uncomfortable or stuck between the pair of you, it's nothing to do with them.

Samwaygangeee · 10/06/2015 16:49

You were reasonably good friends but you didn't invite her and she called you on it. If you had apologised for hurting her feelings/causing offence then she wouldn't be blanking you. But you unfriended her on FB. What do you expect?

NickiFury · 10/06/2015 16:52

I wouldn't want to talk to you either. Why should she?

TheRollingCrone · 10/06/2015 16:54

I think it's been taken out of your hands. She,s not talking to you.How can you blank someone who is ignoring you? Grin.

I,ve no comment to make about Facebook.I,m too old for it. Thank fuck.

Original poster
Nuggie1 · 10/06/2015 16:55

I did apologise- but I don't see why I should invite someone that. I'm not particularly good friends with. She didn't accept my apology

OP posts:
dinoswore · 10/06/2015 16:57

You unfriended her on Facebook.that's a very clear message from you. Why would you expect her to smile at you after that? In fact, why were you waiting to see if she would smile first?

Samwaygangeee · 10/06/2015 16:58

She perhaps thought you were better friends than you actually are. She must have been confused and hurt to call you on it. Your response "I don't see why etc etc" is very graceless. I don't think you've done yourself any favours.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 10/06/2015 16:58

I don't blame her for being peeved at you.
You sound like a 7 year old infant to be honest, coming out with clattrap such as I didn't have to invite you. It's juvenile ffs. You sound like you still haven't left the play ground yourself what with your clique exclusive behaviour.
Would it have caused you any hardship to invite her.
I really don't know what you expect to be honest

Samwaygangeee · 10/06/2015 16:59

A better response would be to claim it was an oversight and apologise for hurting her feelings. Why didn't you do that?

Original poster
Nuggie1 · 10/06/2015 17:00

I don't necessarily mean smile but I thought maybe she would feel bad for having a public go over something so petty. If I don't get invited to something I don't throw my toys out of the pram. We could have been civil for the sake of mutual friends and to avoid awkwardness. However I don't see why I have to be the one to try to smooth it over when I did nothing wrong

OP posts:
tyto · 10/06/2015 17:00

Is this a reverse thread about school children?

Original poster
Nuggie1 · 10/06/2015 17:00

It wasn't an oversight! She's not a close friend!

OP posts:
SaucyJack · 10/06/2015 17:01

I've always wondered what an AIBU would sound like from a Wendy's perspective.

Samwaygangeee · 10/06/2015 17:02

But you DID do something wrong. You (unintentionally) hurt and offended her.

steff13 · 10/06/2015 17:03

If you actually said to her that you didn't have to invite her to your dinner, that's a fairly rude and sounds like something a stroppy teenager would say, not an adult woman. So, I can see why she'd be upset. It perhaps would have been better to say something more kind and polite.

Original poster
Nuggie1 · 10/06/2015 17:03

So I should just invite everyone I know in case someone is upset? I doubt you do that.....

OP posts:
sausagedogsrus · 10/06/2015 17:03

Dear Lord, you both sound about 12 years old! Hmm

Samwaygangeee · 10/06/2015 17:05

Invite who you like but be prepared to deal with the fallout when you upset people.

Original poster
Nuggie1 · 10/06/2015 17:07

Ok I came on here for constructive advice not for a slanging match and insults. It's so easy to sit at your computer and lob negative comments. I hope you have better luck if you ever have anything you want to discuss on here!

OP posts:
MrsSheRa · 10/06/2015 17:07

If you unfriend someone on fb after a quarrel it sends the message that you're pretty much done with them Confused

Samwaygangeee · 10/06/2015 17:08

Ha ha ha! Perhaps you could type the response you'd like and then we can all cut and paste it?!

kissmethere · 10/06/2015 17:08

Yanbu she needs to grow up.

AuntyMag10 · 10/06/2015 17:10

You have children and you behave like this Confused

MrsSheRa · 10/06/2015 17:10

I can understand your reasons for not inviting her. She has taken it very personally and it was perhaps wrong of her to have a go at you publicly.

If I was you I'd feel pretty awkward I suppose.