To blank someone at the school gates who has stopped speaking to me?

[Nuggie1]

A mum aquaintance who used to be a reasonably good friend (but we had drifted apart), had a go at me on Facebook for not inviting her to my birthday dinner. She adid this in a group on FB which contained fsome mutual friends.
We had a spat, where I said I didn't have to invite her. Then I unfriended her and the next time I saw her I looked at her to see if she would smile and she turned her ack.
I don't want to make up with her as I did nothing wrong but lots of mutual friends want me to talk to her to sort it out. Why should I? I did nothing wrong!

Op, quite often on Mumsnet a lot of responses seem to follow the first one.

I can't believe you are being spoken to like this by the majority of posters. I'm sorry for you

Yes, sadly the majority of posters seem to think the acquaintance was being reasonable to protest at not being invited to OPs birthday dinner.

Once you have accepted that anyone can demand to be included in someone's life the rest is all downhill.

Maybe I should find the Queen's twitter and demand I be invited to hers for tea. After all I have met her a couple of times, was even introduced to her once (I was about 5). Damn woman has been blanking me all these years!

You don't like her enough to invite on your cliquey nights out. You don't like her enough to keep her as a friend on FB. Yet you expect her to SMILE at you after you have basically told her you don't want anything to do with you? Very odd.

If there is one sentence l hate it's..l didn't do anything wrong..We all need to be open to the fact that eé may unwittingly done something wrong and upset someone
..that phrase is enough to steal any sympathy l may have for you

I think most pps thought both were unreasonable, not just the OP.

But, and since you are the one who has posted, don't expect someone you unfriendied on FB to continue to be your friend, or even approach you. You gave her the message that you didn't want to be friends, so were you expecting her to take the punishment and grovel?

Presumably the mutual friends are worried that they will be asked to pick sides, and may well be saying the same to her.

Going all playground, have you asked your friends what she says about making up?

She has taken offence. Possibly because she is an insecure individual.

Well, you could try contacting her and saying sorry she was upset, would she like to meet up for lunch next week or similar.

Wow, if I was having a birthday dinner and found out I'd upset someone I would make sure knew I hadn't meant to hurt them just hadn't seen them for a while. Then I'd suggest we meet up as it would be lovely to see them. Why would you be okay with upsetting somebody (even if unintentionally). Defriending her on fb because you didn't invite her and she clearly liked you so asked about it sounds totally mean and unnecessary. No wonder she turned her back on you - you upset her and have the attitude you don't care. If I'd unintentionally upset someone I'd be mortified.
I'm stunned grown ups behave like this. Glad my friendships aren't so complicated.

I'm not saying she had a right to come to the meal at all, of course you can choose. It's how you've dealt with it that I think sucks.

Yes, sadly the majority of posters seem to think the acquaintance was being reasonable to protest at not being invited to OPs birthday dinner.

I don't think the acquaintance was being reasonable to start a public spat. However, the OP doesn't have any control over the acquaintance's behavior, she only controls her own behavior. It's pretty clear the acquaintance was hurt, why not just be honest and polite, instead of saying something that would make it worse? When someone is trying to pick a fight with you, you don't have to engage with them.

It's entirely up to you who you want to invite for your birthday. However you went on to unfriend this woman on Facebook and this woman has interpreted it as meaning you didn't wish to be friends. I'm not sure what you expect her to do next. Personally I think you should sort it out. Life is too short for petty squabbles.

You may have been able to move on from the argument if you hadn't she may even have come to the same concusion as you that you weren't so close friends as she obviously thought and remained civil.

You defriended her, a clear fuck off and no longer friends. Why did you expect her to smile or be friendly to you after you made it crystal clear you consider her nothing to you? She's just abiding by your wishes as per your actions.

You shouldn't have to invite everyone to your birthday if you aren't actual friends, and she could have expected to be told such if confronting however it could have easily been resolved if you hadn't defriended. You told her you weren't close friends then defriended her to prove it- what more do you want, she's no longer a friend.