To expect my DCs (Yr 7&9) to walk 40 mins to school and home again.

[Lauresbadhairday]

My DCs are at an independent school and therefore most of the children live some distance away and are dropped off and picked up from school by parents every day. We live a 40 min walk away and I think my DCs should be able to manage this to and from school. They are 12 & 14.

They moan daily about walking - "it's too far", "my bag's too heavy, "it's raining", "none of my friends walk" etc, etc.

Now by my own admission I have been too soft and have dropped them off/picked them up quite frequently however I really want this to stop and for them to walk. I am getting much tougher and have not given them a lift at all since half-term but the moaning continues.

So, AIBU in making them walk 40 mins to school and back? If the general consensus is that I am then I will suck it up and give them a lift but I really think at 12&14 they are perfectly capable of walking this distance daily.

I dont drive so dds always walked to school when dd2 started it took her 35 minutes by the time she left it took her 25 they get into a pace and they didnt have broken backs or pneumonia from the storms rain ,

You ANBU. My DC in year 7 and 10 have a 40 minute walk home everyday and walk to school 2 - 3 times a week too. It helps that I walk to/from work for a similar distance so it's harder for them to argue. If I'm driving in for some reason then they get lifts. We could drive every day but IMO it's a good way for all of is to get exercise. I've also walked home (up hill!) with a carrier bag of shopping in each hand and that's not killed me either! So nice or grey and drizzly days walk. Stormy weather lifts all round!

I see you've reached a compromise but for others in a similar dilemma:

When I was at secondary school I was 30 minutes walk away or 2 buses. Most of the time my mother took me and collected me. When I was older we moved and it was still a 30 minute walk but one bus. I often walked home but had the option of the bus. But it was absolutely normal for people to walk that far. BUT we had cloakrooms and decent lockers so you didn't have to carry loads of stuff around. So many schools now don't have cloakrooms.

Maybe kids can just walk in one direction? Or when they have nothing major to carry like PE kits, musical instruments etc.

If you can take them when it's wet I would. Yes I know you don't dissolve in rain but I wouldn't want my son sitting in wet clothes at school all day and is there anywhere to store wet waterproofs etc?

Also bike was suggested above. If roads are not a complete nightmare, that's a good option too (assuming school has storage).

Yanbu at all.

My Primary school was about 1.5 miles. I found it a bit tough as a 4 year old (mainly on the way home, after a long day) but by the time I was about 7 years old it was just normal!

My DS has a 20 minute walk to school and you wouldn't believe the amount of parents who insist on offering him a lift, because 'they feel sorry for him'

Got about half way through this thread. You are so not being unreasonable! At junior school I walked 20mins each way and secondary about 35 mins each way. Only got a lift if it was lashing it down.

To people saying what about all the bags/textbooks/pe equipment: I went to a private school, with no lockers, and had a very heavy bag with lots of extras (hockey stick etc) to carry the 25 min walk from the train station to school everyday. There was no question of that walk being too far.

worra dd2 changed her route slightly because her friends mum used to stop every morning to give her a lift dd thinks she thinks im a terrible parent

When I was growing up, my mum made us walk everywhere from about the age we could walk. She didn't drive and didn't have money for public transport a lot of the time.

This set me up well as an adult - I hate driving for short journeys (which to me would be a 20-30 min walk) and will walk if at all possible. Probably keeps me in good shape too
Unfortunately I haven't yet been able to instill this in my own DCs (5&3) as I work so they're ferried around a lot. When it is my day off, we walk!

So yanbu. Although if they've got heavy things to carry then I see their point.

Sorry not sure how to quote, but to answer AtiaoftheJulii, they have games on Monday but the school like the PE Kit and swimming bags in on Mondays and they stay there until Friday. The Games bags come back and then go back on Fridays. Does my noodle in!

The time aspect would be a concern to me.

Spending 5 hours week walking back and forward to school could be spent doing more useful things.
My kids are on tight schedules, both in the crucial exam years, both have extra curricular activities ( DD has 20 hours of dance class a week). Fitting everything in can be struggle and they often get tired. I would rather they spent that time studying or even sleeping.

In fact- over 6 and a half hours walking to school.
Waste of time.

6 and a half hours exercise each week at no cost. And a bit of planet saving too.

great idea - get them to do it.

Very sedate exercise.

Not active enough for kids. I would rather save the time and allow them to do something more productive.

Mine walk to private primary school and are the ONLY kids who walk (I can't drive for medical reasons, so they have to!) It's half the distance of yours and I carry all the bags (but they are only 4, 5 and 7 so I think that's fair enough!) I'm expecting they will walk further (prob about 40 mins like yours) when they move to secondary.

I do the following, which has eradicated all moaning. Don't know if it would work on yours since they're older and less malleable, but here goes:-

1. I keep mentioning how much fitter and healthier it is to walk, and how feeble it is to be chauffeured in by your parents, how recent research shows that getting some fresh air, exercise, and sunlight in the morning improves your performance for the rest of the day, how they're ahead of everyone else at school because they've already done exercise when they arrive, how much tougher, more road-savvy and more independent they are than others etc. etc. They feel quite proud of themselves for walking, rather than hard-done-by/ashamed that they're not driven like others.

1. I buy them high quality shoes and rainwear. And snowwear if it's a bad winter! Bad weather is no issue at all if you've got the right clothes.

1. I've arranged with school that we have an entry code for the door, so DH drops off heavy sports kit etc. on his way to work on Monday mornings and picks it up on his way home on Friday evenings.

1. I give the kids a financial reward for cheerful, helpful walking to school. 5p a day each way. (I imagine older kids would need a bigger reward!) This is the one that actually killed all moaning stone-dead by introducing motivation for them!

I see the only real problem as heavy stuff. Being organised about leaving heavy stuff at school is good, also talking to school about practical stuff (e.g. could your kids be allowed to use the copier to photocopy a page from a text book for homework rather than lugging the whole thing etc.) It is really good for kids to learn independence and organisation about this sort of thing.

keep, walking to and from things is one of the most basic, natural things a human being can do.

It's a bit like saying breathing is a waste of time if we can get a machine to do it for us.

DS and his mates have a couple of decent rucksacks.

He usually uses a 25 litre Lowe Alpine ( in fact I have the same one that I use for hand luggage only holidays)
This fits virtually everything in including his waterproof.
He uses the rucksack correctly when walking. I.e. with both straps on the shoulders and not candling off one shoulder.

Obviously if the weather is terrible I will offer to pick up but he says he likes the walk especially coming home because when he walks with mates he can have a laugh but if he walks by himself it clears his head. To me that is not a waste of time but a chance to decompress. I like to do the same.

That said,my lads have always been walkers. I thought DS1 (18) would have stopped walking to work once he bought his car but no, it's parked up on the drive and he walks in (35 mins to work). We are a 3 car family but I also walk or cycle to work.

To be honest game 1.5mile journey is not worth starting your car for. We would only really do that if we were doing our monthly 'big shop'

Oh, I didn't realise it was only 1.5 miles! They should definitely be walking! And it should only take them about 20-25 mins! Ours is 0.8 miles for my primary-age kids, and they'll be walking 3 miles each way to secondary!

I had to walk 45mins to and from high school. That's an hour and a half a day of very mild, borderline useless "exercise". I agree that it's not a very efficient use of time. I also remember that's when my spider veins started...

My ds has a very busy life. If he always walked to and from the station something else would have to give.

worral I am fully aware that walking can be a good thing. Both my kids have completed 20-30 mile hikes during their Duke of Edinburgh Awards.

But in a normal busy week it's a luxury we can't afford.
I live a 2 mile walk from Tesco, though country lanes and woods. But I drive there - because I also have to work, run a home, look after other people.

It would be lovely to take a morning to have a couple of hours walking to Tesco and back to buy a pint of milk while watching the butterflies.
But that's not going to pay the bills.

OK but that wasn't what you said keep. You just said it was a waste of time, and that was the post I was replying to.

Regular everyday walking isn't a waste of time and it's better for us than a few irregular hikes.

But I understand what you mean now, in that you don't have the time to spare, so have to rely on a car.

It is ironic, isn't it, that people living in the country have no time to walk! My parents moved from the country to the city when they retired and now walk several miles a day just going about their normal business, whereas in the country it had to be a special 'going for a walk' activity that only got done once a week at the most. So they have a much healthier lifestyle now.

I disagree that walking to and from school is "sedate" or unworthy exercise. It is excellent for health.

I've always said the same, Squiggly!

My brother and sister both moved to the countryside with their families and they said they've never been so reliant on their cars.

Everything is so far away, even the local newsagents.

I also believe in being kind to my children. Which means that I don't expect them to walk if they don't feel like it, if they're tired or have had a crap day. If I rang my Dp from the station and said "it's raining and I'm tired- please can you pick me up" and he said no, I would be justifiably upset. Why should it be different for children?