To ruin a lovely surprise by stressing out about what to wear

[UrbanSunday]

So my friend has a 'big' birthday this weekend and about six months ago booked a city break for a number of friends. I decided not to go because of all the usual stuff , kids, money etc.

I have found out TODAY that as a surprise my friend and DH have booked me on the trip. I know it is a lovely gesture . I know I will have a lovely time. BUT as a mum of four I dress very very casually at all times. Doubtless most people think I am down right scruffy. I don't have anything to wear in a chic European city and I haven't been 'out' for the night in literally ten years. I have no idea what is suitable. Added to the above that I am tubby (4 c sections and minimal exercise since) with an ample bosom. There is no way on earth I am getting my bingo wings out.

I have no idea where to begin. I prob have 1 pair of black wide legged trousers and one black top I could take. Two nights and three days to fill. Not a huge budget and two days to shop with two toddlers in tow!

Please kind and stylish mnetters where do I begin?

And yes I know I being trivial and all sorts of ungrateful but HELP! ( I saw a similarish thread here a few months ago and some people had some fab ideas so I blatantly posting for traffic)

We need your height, size, shape please!
Budget?
Don't even think about shopping with 2 toddlers, next and asos both do next day delivery if you order tonight before ten you'll have it by tomorrow then you can try on whilst the children are asleep and post back what you don't need.
It's europe, it's June, it's going to be hot.....keep that in mind!

Could you try googling for some inspirational images?

Have had two DC in recent years and have found googling things like:

"Images hourglass tall maternity fashion pinterest"
"Images hourglass postpartum pinterest"

...gives me loads of images other people have collection to solve my particular fashion problem (big boobs, big bum, looking really thick in pregnancy/post partum). I can then usually find a few looks I like and can replicate with a bit of lookalike shopping.

Ok I am 5' 7 size 16 top and 14 bottom. Upper arms and belly a particular disaster. Can't wear heels other than work type sensible as will fall over. I am the type of person who always looks messy if that makes any sense so layers etc other than cardi over something pretty fitted make me look like I have been dragged through hedge backwards. Friend has agreed to sit with toddlers through nap time tomorrow so can get much needed hair cut , brow shape and pedi. Budget as reasonable as possible but high street rather than super market? Not designer! Thanks!

shouldn't this post be on S&B?

My advice is that your lovely friend really wants you to be there, and prob doesn't give a bugger what you look like.

From AIBU, I'd say: Go in jeans and a t-shirt and have an ace time.

Debenhams is good for a range of sizes and styles. They go up to a 20 I think. They have some nice smart and summer clothes in there. If you've only got time to go to one shop try evans which is Size 14 up.

if you're 5'7 and a size 16, there is no part of you that is 'a disaster'. Stop being down on yourself!

I agree re asos, ignore the teenage stuff (unless you want a neon cropped top and if you do I will defend your right to wear it to the death) but their "Curve" stuff is really nice and it's super easy to return so you can over order.
I am really excited for you and a bit jealous. I hope you have a really fantastic time. Everyone there will feel feeling a bit about outfits and size regardless of how they look to you.

Oh yes what Chips said! Disaster? Really?

Shoes wise I'd go for a nice low wedge then, from office or next.....
Some nice light wide legged trousers would be Good for the weather with a Breton top? But you'll be hot.....
I think you should embrace the arms personally then you can wear a nice bright vest with a mid length skirt in a flattering fabric (denim?) good for day and night.

How do you feel about pretty dresses? I'm loving www.lindybop.co.uk right now for disrtracting from wobbly bits with cleavage!
And definitely yes to wedges.

Something like this skirt? And the wedges too?

This is a nice daytime look, you can get a nice similar style striped dress from warehouse.

Can you give us a hint about what colours/styles you normally go for?

How about buying a few nice dresses with a deep v neck, fitted at the waist and then flows out at the belly, calf length with a nice 3/4 length sleeved jacket and add a stylish scarf if you feel uncomfy? Shoes can be flat sandles or stylish canvas type wedge heels. You can wear a nice bolero type cardi to hide bingo wings for the evening

Do you live anywhere near a city or mall which will do late opening? Get Dp to come home early as he can one evening, be standing at the door and walk straight out when he gets home, have some lovely quiet shopping time on your own.

Simplify.

You already have a pair of black trousers and a black top.

If wearable then add a very simple black skirt and another very plain black vest / long sleeved top. Plus a couple more in white/ cream/grey. They should all be interchangeable.

Then a jacket for daytime in a flattering colour that goes with both the trousers and the skirt. Plus something more festive (I keep seeing the word kimono here) for going out in the evening.

That gives you plenty of options without the worry of things not working together. It doesn't really matter where you shop - most places should have these simple pieces at every budget.

Add one unfussy day and one nighttime pair of shoes plus one day and one nightime bag.

Done!

I have visited quite a few European cities in the summer months and don't understand why we British have preconceived ideas about everyone looking smart and well turned out.

Likely as not the place you visit will be full of tourists from all over the place, all wearing comfortable sightseeing clothes and sensible shoes. I also find more and more often people don't really dress up so much in the evenings either. I would say just wear something that makes you feel good.

Ok. Loving the wedges an will be checking out ASOS in a mo. Massive drip feed (sorry) but skirts / dresses out as I am allergic to insect bites and have 2 huge ones at the moment on one leg . Thanks for all your comments so far!

I agree, no one will be much worried except being child free and comfortable. But, I know how you feel. Recentky I've bought this bargain from h&m - comfort a go go
m.hm.com/gb/product/32266?article=32266-H

Sorry, cross post. Got to be a maxi dress and jean jacket then to cover legs. Sun glasses and sorted!

Different coloured vest tops and a kimono, should do a couple of evenings, pop to asda/newlook cheap and easy. Otherwise suggest a shopping trip whilst there?

If you're smaller on the bottom than top, go for slim-cut trousers and more flowing tops (with sleeves: I hear you on the bingo wings! And anyway, looser layers are cooler than exposed skin). Plain T-shirts in neutral shades (white, navy, taupe) can be dressed up with big, bright, beaded necklace (I like "bib" styles), which can be obtained cheaply from somewhere like Accessorize.

YY to wedges. Muted metallics or animal-print go with everything (and accessories don't tend to be "too much", even if you don't tend towards animal print). Espadrilles are also v fashionable at the moment.

A light dress with cap sleeves, a loose skirt and a tie-waist would be good, if you can find one.

Main thing to remember is, don't buy anything too small or tight, no matter your size, but particularly if you're conscious of feeling bigger than you'd like. You might be able to breathe in whilst in the changing room but it's unsustainable and you'll feel worse when you're hot and have your clothes cutting into your waist or arms! Also choose natural fabrics like cotton and linen, which are cooler and tend to last better in the heat, thus looking chic.

Make sure you've got a well-fitting bra, too. The back strap should go straight across your back, even if that does cut into any back fat; if it bows in any direction, the back size is too big.

And get some glam sunglasses; cat's eye or Rayban Wayfarer styles are flattering on most face shapes.

Have fun!

Believe it or not George at Asda is good. If you are on a budget there is loads of stuff there that you can mix and match. Lots of flowing tops at the minute and I think I saw some wide legged patterned trousers that you could team with plain tops.

Wish I was your size - you are not a disaster! :)

New Look and Yours have some nice stuff in at the moment. :)

Sainsburys. They have a few great, comfortable summer pieces at the moment.

How about a maxi and flats for the evenings?