To ruin a lovely surprise by stressing out about what to wear

[UrbanSunday]

So my friend has a 'big' birthday this weekend and about six months ago booked a city break for a number of friends. I decided not to go because of all the usual stuff , kids, money etc.

I have found out TODAY that as a surprise my friend and DH have booked me on the trip. I know it is a lovely gesture . I know I will have a lovely time. BUT as a mum of four I dress very very casually at all times. Doubtless most people think I am down right scruffy. I don't have anything to wear in a chic European city and I haven't been 'out' for the night in literally ten years. I have no idea what is suitable. Added to the above that I am tubby (4 c sections and minimal exercise since) with an ample bosom. There is no way on earth I am getting my bingo wings out.

I have no idea where to begin. I prob have 1 pair of black wide legged trousers and one black top I could take. Two nights and three days to fill. Not a huge budget and two days to shop with two toddlers in tow!

Please kind and stylish mnetters where do I begin?

And yes I know I being trivial and all sorts of ungrateful but HELP! ( I saw a similarish thread here a few months ago and some people had some fab ideas so I blatantly posting for traffic)

Thanks everyone for all the ideas. I am not near any decent size cities ( think rolling hills for at least 45 minutes in every direction) but between ASOS and the major supermarkets I should be fine. Need to 'let it go' and just enjoy being child free for the first time in ten years! Thank you all for being so helpful and not just telling me to get a grip.

Not meaning to be unsympathetic (and posted some not very helpful, but genuine advice way upthread), but does anyone else reading this feel like AIBU has been kidnapped by aliens?

Sorry momma not sure what you mean and apologies for not posting in S & B (?) but I have no idea what this is!

You are of course right that my friend is delightedly happy for scruffy old me to come along and I am well aware that a few new clothes aren't going to make or break the trip but I would like to at least feel comfortable. the knowledge that i look a little more together than my usual 'just out of the lambing shed' look will help me achieve that.

I am of course being ridiculous but hopefully by following some of the very kind advice above I can over come some of of the crazy insecurities.

Thanks again.

fatmomma99 what do you mean? You must be a newbie with that name. The only alien here is you. Now hop along.

I think fatmomma was commenting on how friendly everyone was, instead of the more typical AIBU "get a grip/over yourself" experience

For evening, you could just go black top and trousers with a sparkly necklace. For daytime too if you add some jewellery you'll look more put together straight away. X

Rogue kiss, sorry!

I'm your height and a wee bit smaller - have been a lot bigger though. 2 things that I try to remember

• loose top and slim bottoms, or the other way round.
• don't put pattern on your worst bits
• flimsy, cheap fabric clings to my worst bits. My midriff benefits from stiffer fabrics.
• natural fibres only!

I am currently wearing this skirt to death is is quite light for denim, but still robust enough for my csectioned middle]]

JohnnyB girls shoes do a decent range of colourful but flat sandals.

I agree that your friend really wants you to be at her birthday, but I understand your concerns.

I am big and my 'usual' outfit is wide, linen trousers (M & S/Next) with loose shirts - comfortable and presentable.

Don't sweat the small stuff, enjoy your weekend.

Oh op I can feel your pain! I'm a 16 on top, 16/18 bottom (used to be 14/16 before ds, sob)

It can be so daunting, people you don't know so we'll x unfamiliar city where you're not sure of the places you're going x need to look extra nice = daunting for ANYONE!

I agree with the asos recommendation

Oops posted too soon!

Also department stores have next day delivery, so order a load on a credit card of you have one, return what you don't like, then move over the money for what you do, so it doesn't impact your everyday finances.

For this time of year I love slim blue jeans

Omg did it again!

Right, slim blue jeans with cami and blazer. Try next relaxed skinnies (£20ish) v comfy and not super tight so v Flattering. Dorothy perkins have lots of strappy floaty cami tops that are Flattering on bigger boobs. Miss selfridge have lots of lovely jersey blazers with a touch of stretch in them, I just bought this one in white
m.missselfridge.com/h5/search?query=Ponte+jacket&search=

Team with some comfy trainers for day, eg skechers go walk or converse, and sunglasses, or wedges at night. I generally feel scruffy, I think having kids pulling at you does that, but I find a blazer works wonders. I'm channeling this chic lady
www.buynowbloglater.com/2015/05/topshop-i-cant-quit-you.html?m=1

H&M do lovely maxi dresses (get their delivery service) - Europeans love H&M so you won't look out of place. Add a nice cardigan or kimono for evening.

www.hm.com/gb/products/ladies/dresses_jumpsuits/long

for day the S&B lot like jersey tube skirts (they do longer length ones), also harem or palazzo pants would work - but your trousers now sound nice.

Bear in mind it'll be hot so if you're sightseeing as well as whatever day stuff is planned then you may prefer to bare legs and cover yourself in mosquito repellent.

The 'Krisp' brand on Amazon do some good stretchy dresses and tops in millions of colours.

I hate my upper arms too- for daytime I hide in open shoulder tops which look summery but hide my bingo wings.
Nighttime more dressy look- skinny black trousers, cami top and printed kimono which are everywhere at the minute new look have lovely very inexpensive ones in

There's a link on S&B to reduced Saltwater sandals. If you bought those and then plain jeans and tops with the sandal colour in them it would work for day or evening. I've bought a fuchsia pair - am going through a pink phase so will have loads to go with them.

www.office.co.uk/view/search?search=saltwater

Have just bought this in two colours. It is very flattering.

www.oliverbonas.com/fashion/cutwork-broderie-top-34535

I imagine you've deliberately left out which city you're going to, but could I ask the country? I'm on the continent (though not in a city break kind of city!) and, although it's cooled down now, it has been HOT over the last few days.

And that's why I'm going to suggest a comfy but smart pair of flip flops/ cool and comfy shoes that you already own and which you know won't rub or squeeze hot and swollen feet and that you can wear with anything.

I'm also going to suggest a quick trip to boots for a tube of lanacaine Anti-chafing gel. (Not the medicated anti-itch cream). I am quite tall and slim, but even so, on hot and sweaty days when you're walking around a lot it is a life saver for stopping painful rubbing between the thighs. And you can use it as a primer too

Why does an AIBU thread have to be rude and nasty? Don't get me wrong, I'll say it how it is where it's called for and have done so many a time in the past. But why on earth would anyone want to be rude to someone asking for advice about clothes though? We all have our insecurities. I'm in no position to tell anyone to get a grip when it comes to dressing up. I'm sure everyone here, including fatmomma99 has some kind of hang up about their body. Telling someone to dress in jeans and tshirt and have an ace time is terrible advice. And not what the OP asked for.

You've got some good advice here OP. I hope you find something nice.

I'm about the same size (bit bigger!) and height as you, and shopping for holiday clothes at the moment/did a city break last year.

Maxi dresses/skirts are your friend. Really cool to wear (flapping around creates a bit of a breeze!) actually cooler than having the sun directly on your legs in a skirt/shorts. Go really well from day to night. Wear some nice flat sandals with them, they don't suit heels anyway.

My thunder thighs can sometimes chafe a bit so I cut the legs off a pair of thin tights and wear them like cycling shorts.

I got a nice plain thin stretchy cotton black maxi skirt from New Look last week. Pair with a vest top, cardy and big necklace and you're done! New Look were also having a brilliant sale on their nice jewellery, buy one get one free.

Do you have a decent Sainsburys near you? I had a browse in the clothes bit this morning, I reckon you could sort your weekend out just in there. Lovely maxi dresses, blazers, low wedges etc.

Have a fantastic time, no one other than you will care what you're wearing.

I was going to say Tu at Sainsburys too.

Their basics are very reasonable - vest tops £5 for eg, and their colours are great in there at the mo. Lots of more formal clothes too - in comfy stretchy fabric.

Some of the 'beach wear' is really pretty to team with black trousers for daytime or evening actually. Even if you're going nowhere near a beach! Lovely floaty patterned tops which you could pop over a dead cheap black spagetti strap vest top and look different every day. Loads of matching accessories to choose from.

Where are you going? You may have lots of luck and more fun shopping there?

1 hour tops in a large Sainsburys and you will be sorted for not too much money.
Wherever you are going I hope you have a great time OP