DH and I are invited to a dinner party tomorrow evening. The hostess is somebody we've known for a long time, although we don't see as much of her as we used to, and her new-ish partner.
Until today, we thought that it would be six for dinner: our friends, us and another couple DH and I know well and like.
We discovered today that another couple are invited. The female half is horrendous. Around five years ago, I got to know her slightly through a community activity (I won't say what it was for fear of outing myself). She'd taken umbrage at something I'd said to somebody else (which wasn't horrible: I'd asked the other person to do something they'd previously agreed to do, but hadn't done) and sent me a really spiteful e-mail full of insults and saying that she'd only asked me to be involved in the activity because she "felt sorry for me" and "thought I didn't have many friends".
I showed the e-mail to a couple of close friends and they couldn't believe the venom. (FYI I have lots of friends and I am very popular, but I don't think that logic or truth matter much to this person.)
I was really shocked and upset by it, so I've avoided this person ever since. As any sensible woman would. This person later had an affair with her then best friend's husband, so, you know, nice woman.
I don't think that I can sit at a table with this woman. I loathe her too much and her presence will spoil the evening. However, I think it would be rude to cancel on our hosts at such short notice.
What would you do? Also, any tips for coping strategies?