Hellish upcoming dinner party: WWYD?

[Nettletheelf]

DH and I are invited to a dinner party tomorrow evening. The hostess is somebody we've known for a long time, although we don't see as much of her as we used to, and her new-ish partner.

Until today, we thought that it would be six for dinner: our friends, us and another couple DH and I know well and like.

We discovered today that another couple are invited. The female half is horrendous. Around five years ago, I got to know her slightly through a community activity (I won't say what it was for fear of outing myself). She'd taken umbrage at something I'd said to somebody else (which wasn't horrible: I'd asked the other person to do something they'd previously agreed to do, but hadn't done) and sent me a really spiteful e-mail full of insults and saying that she'd only asked me to be involved in the activity because she "felt sorry for me" and "thought I didn't have many friends".

I showed the e-mail to a couple of close friends and they couldn't believe the venom. (FYI I have lots of friends and I am very popular, but I don't think that logic or truth matter much to this person.)

I was really shocked and upset by it, so I've avoided this person ever since. As any sensible woman would. This person later had an affair with her then best friend's husband, so, you know, nice woman.

I don't think that I can sit at a table with this woman. I loathe her too much and her presence will spoil the evening. However, I think it would be rude to cancel on our hosts at such short notice.

What would you do? Also, any tips for coping strategies?

[wallypops]

Very unPC but it might be the moment to promise DH all manner of favours if he has your back in an appropriate way. It'll make the difference between enjoying it and divorcing him for flirting with the enemy.

[Floggingmolly]

Or just position yourself where you can administer a sharp kick to the shins when necessary. Never mind fecking favours; he should have your back as a matter of course.

[Devora]

I have no social life. Saturday night is suddenly perking up.

[Nettletheelf]

I am totally channelling Lucia tomorrow! What a fab idea!

[giraffesCantPluckTheirEyebrows]

[CadleCrap]

Oh, I have looked forward to someone else's dinner party in ages.

[MyFriendsCallMeOh]

I'm in the USA, it will be lunchtime here, can't wait. Nothing better than having the upper hand and being gracious about it....

[annettec01]

??

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

I hope your evening goes well, Nettle. Sounds like you have everything well planned at least and so long as she doesn't go on the immediate offensive, you'll be fine.

How did you find out she was coming, by the way, did the hostess mention it or someone else?

[BIWI]

I'm with Mintyy on this one. And your hostess will notice. It will be really obvious.

[FauxFox]

Good luck nettle she sounds a bit of a challenge!

[CloserToFiftyThanTwenty]

Idly marking place...

[GoblinLittleOwl]

My sympathies are entirely with the hostess, blithely putting the finishing touches to her preparations for the pleasant evening she has planned for the benefit of her friends.

[Pancakeflipper]

I want full details of the food, what flavour pombears etc...

[fedupcarer]

Good luck X

[CornChips]

marking place.

[AyeAmarok]

Good plan OP, but don't do the "so how is [previous affair partner]" line.

Unless she is being a total cow. Then I'd ask "how is [former friend's name], you two used to be so close".

[coconutpie]

Looking forward to the live updates! grabs popcorn

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

I have no advice but am shamelessly place marking

[Spadequeen]

Good luck

[PlumpingThePartTimeMother]

.

[Nettletheelf]

I've got my glam on. St Tropez, Huile Prodigeuse, nail varnish, heels, lips, the lot. Into battle!

[CaTsMaMmA]

do update on the menu, I like to peruse other folks' menus.

[WyrdByrd]

Go for it! Always better not to give your enemies the satisfaction of seeing that they have an impact in your life.