Hellish upcoming dinner party: WWYD?

[Nettletheelf]

DH and I are invited to a dinner party tomorrow evening. The hostess is somebody we've known for a long time, although we don't see as much of her as we used to, and her new-ish partner.

Until today, we thought that it would be six for dinner: our friends, us and another couple DH and I know well and like.

We discovered today that another couple are invited. The female half is horrendous. Around five years ago, I got to know her slightly through a community activity (I won't say what it was for fear of outing myself). She'd taken umbrage at something I'd said to somebody else (which wasn't horrible: I'd asked the other person to do something they'd previously agreed to do, but hadn't done) and sent me a really spiteful e-mail full of insults and saying that she'd only asked me to be involved in the activity because she "felt sorry for me" and "thought I didn't have many friends".

I showed the e-mail to a couple of close friends and they couldn't believe the venom. (FYI I have lots of friends and I am very popular, but I don't think that logic or truth matter much to this person.)

I was really shocked and upset by it, so I've avoided this person ever since. As any sensible woman would. This person later had an affair with her then best friend's husband, so, you know, nice woman.

I don't think that I can sit at a table with this woman. I loathe her too much and her presence will spoil the evening. However, I think it would be rude to cancel on our hosts at such short notice.

What would you do? Also, any tips for coping strategies?

[YouTheCat]

Brilliant!

But where is the posh bit in the North of England? I'm up here and no where's posh.

[Notgrumpyjustquiet]

Hellkitty what did your DP sensibly agree to send off for in the end? Just thinking it's about time I left the Argos catalogue open at the appropriate page in the vicinity of my DP...

shudders

[Ceic]

Excellent update! Congrats OP! Sounds like you played a blinder.

(Now just waiting for an final update on the Wendy thread in Chat.)

[MrsTedCrilly]

Well done you You handled it beautifully. Also, you sound so posh.. I want to try all that posh nosh.

[KillmeNow]

Hooray! MN wins again :)

I would totally have cried off this dinner. And look at what I would have missed.

Next time there is a possibility she will be in a mixed group you have already won the upper hand and can be comfortable from the outset.

[ThumbWitchesAbroad]

Sounds like you did really well Nettle - did you mention anything to your hostess after they'd left? Do you think she noticed?

Harrogate is a fairly posh bit of oop North, Youthecat - I'm sure there are other bits too.

[funchum8am]

Ilkley or Harrogate?

[echt]

Was on board until the "incipient dinner ladies' arms" bit.

[Nettletheelf]

Bingo wings, not dinner ladies' arms. Anyway, I didn't mention anything to our hostess afterwards. Thought she deserved a rest! Thanks everybody, could not have done it without you!

[AyMamita]

Woop! Loved this. Thank you :)

[redshoeblueshoe]

And to think I'd of said don't go. Brilliant

[CaTsMaMmA]

hurrah for cool and refined!

nice menu too!

and incipient bingo wings is vair funny.

Jolly well done OP, I bet Nastypasty is not nearly so self assured this morning and is hopefully reflecting on all her past behaviours. with a good dose of the horrors about last night

[SuperFlyHigh]

Fab work op I guessed Harrogate too only coz our london architects had a Leeds office too and they used to post pics of their naice dinner parties

[paxtecum]

This has turned into a bitchfest.

Bingo wings, Bright red lips, foundation too pale, hard, ageing black eyeliner, her makeup still looks terrible.

Not nice.

[AyMamita]

Oh whatever paxtecum - don't be so sanctimonious. Sending poisonous emails and shagging your best friend's husband isn't "nice" either! Personally I'd be delighted to see any woman that had wronged me looking like a dog's breakfast and I firmly believe that most women would say the same.

[Doggygirl]

Something nasty about this thread.

Whilst the woman sounds unpleasant, the OP sounds rather unkind - bitching about bingo wings and the woman's make up!

[Italiangreyhound]

Menu sounds yummy you are making my mouth water, but then it is lunch time.

[Trills]

Dinner sounds lovely.

Glad you didn't have to miss out on your evening.

[FeckTheMagicDragon]

Oh I love a good bitch fest about a nasty person. Something about being normal and doing nothing bad, but watching people who have done you wrong get their comeuppance is delightful. I had a similar experience at a school reunion. Still makes me smile. :)

[MrsTedCrilly]

Nasty people deserve all the bile headed their way.. Being the bastard they are is what makes them ugly. A nice person who had looked the same as the woman in question wouldn't have had any scathing remarks. (unless by another nasty person)

[Number3cometome]

Nothing was said to her face, so it's not really being bitchy now, because she won't even hear it so it has no effect on her.

Well done OP, you kept your cool and didn't let your host down.

[Pastaeater]

No point in getting all sanctimonious now Doggygirl.

[quietasamouse]

This feels like a bit of a big nothing to be honest. No great drama so lots of nasty detail about the woman's appearance! Glad the evening went by without event, although I'm guessing we'd all have found it juicier if it hadn't!

[MrsTedCrilly]

Totally agreed Mermaid If she's a stealer then he allowed himself to be stolen.. Some people think men are dogs vulnerable to temptation.