to think three children isn't a "big" family?

[CheerfulYank]

DH and I have just had DC3 and I'm surprised at the amount of people who think it's a lot. (Not that it doesn't feel like a lot some days :o)

We've gotten so many comments about having our hands full, "surely you're done now", " wow! Three?!", etc. DH was a party the other day and the host introduced him to someone else and said "he and his wife have thirty seven kids or something." Obviously he was joking, but most people seem the think that three is a lot.

I thought 4+ was a "larger family", personally. Am I mistaken?

We've just had DC2 and are at people saying that we shouldn't have any more, especially as we now have one of each. They can't understand when we say we'd like 3 more!

Nope, we found the same......apparently any more than the majority of the country, or more specifically any more than the most vocal and opinionated people in it have and it means that you have a BIG family (3 being enormous of course) Chill.....I love having more than 2, although I am stopping at 3!

I don't think 3 is that large but it does seem that most people these days stop at 2, so in comparison i guess it is larger!

I have 3 and it feels like 300

I think it's a lovely size....but the "norm" seems to be 1 or 2 these days. Any more does seem biggish.

I think yabu but then 2 is more than enough for me

Society is so set up around two children - things like family tickets, family hotel rooms. 3 children often means a change of car. With the current expectations of living and property prices, to have the expected ideal of one room each, you need a high income and large house, or becoming "overcrowded" sharing bedrooms. With fewer children walking to school, costs of childcare and expectations of activities, 3 children is logistically more complex than the typical 2.

Also with the average starting age for women having children being delayed by education, careers, property prices and greater control of contraception, less people find it practical to have a family larger than 3.

Traditionally it's not large at all, but modern standards and expectations make it a game changer.

I have three kids. The majority of my school Mum friends have three kids too.
I don't consider it a big family, especially not compared with those having 5 or more kids...

We're trying to book a holiday at the moment. Holiday companies seem to thing that 3 kids in one family is non existent! Can't get us all in one room for love nor money!

Congratulations on your new baby!

I think they're just throwaway comments, I know far more families with 1 or 2 (and stopping there) than 3, so from many people's perspective you will have your hsnds full. We never even considered a third so it would certainly seem that way to me.

Defined by whom, Kvetch?

I've got three dc and it feels like a lot

I have had a lot of comments like "you're brave" "you've got your hands full". I don't think 3 is a lot, but it's enough for me. Most of my friends have 3, many have 4.

I think it's a lot but if I made a comment (hopefully I would be too polite as it's none of my business) it would be along the lines of 'I'm in awe of you' as one is all I can cope with. I know my own limits

I am the only person I know with one child and I'm sick of comments about that!

I personally class 6 as a large family. four is normal to me, as one of four, so one more doesn't seem big hence why 6 or more

I think it just comes from the 'outnumbered' school of thought; more children than parents seems a handful.

And what MrsMook said about everything being set up for 2+2. That was certainly a factor in deciding whether we would have a 3rd or not. It seems more than the cost of +1 when you go from 2 DC to 3.

I think it's pretty average. Expensive though!

Currently 33+5 with DC 3

Random person: "Is it your first?"
Me: "No, third"
Random person:

I'd say it was largish. I don't think I'd particularly comment on it though.

To me, four+ seems like an unfeasibly large number of children (I'm from a family of 5 kids) and at that point I might make a 'phew' comment, only because I know that my mum was never able to really give us enough time individually! (I know it's not the same for every family)

That's the thing, many people around here seem to have 3 or 4 so I'm surprised that they're surprised!

The being outnumbered thing is a bit tough.

I think it's an average size family. I class anything up to four as average, more than four is big to me.

I live in a previously 'Catholic' country now, and it's not unusual at all for families to have 4+ kids, even though they aren't 'Catholic' as such. I always boggle a bit, because I don't think I know any families in the Uk with more than 3 kids.

There are many families around where I live that have 4/5/6 + kids so three doesn't seem unusual to me.

I think it's large. I only Have 2 hands so anymore I would feel overwhelmed by

We have 4 and are always defined by our 'massive family' or there are jokes about me being endlessly pregnant.

I know several families with five, two families with 6, one family with 8 and one with 12 so my 4 seem like a small family.

There are stages in family size: 1 is a "lonely only" - not judging just saying this is what people will say, and ask if you are having more or "when is X going to have a little brother or sister?"
2 is "normal", but you might get "you must be disappointed not to have a boy and a girl".
3 is "outnumbered".
After 3 its "big" in the fact that some of your choices change - car, hotels etc.
After 5 its a "true big family", and if the last is a different sex from the others people might well think you "just kept trying".
After 6/7 people might think either you belong to a specific religious group or you need a lesson in contraception.

But I also felt around here that in some groups you barely registered as a family until you had 3+