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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think three children isn't a "big" family?

88 replies

CheerfulYank · 05/06/2015 05:53

DH and I have just had DC3 and I'm surprised at the amount of people who think it's a lot. (Not that it doesn't feel like a lot some days :o)

We've gotten so many comments about having our hands full, "surely you're done now", " wow! Three?!", etc. DH was a party the other day and the host introduced him to someone else and said "he and his wife have thirty seven kids or something." Confused Obviously he was joking, but most people seem the think that three is a lot.

I thought 4+ was a "larger family", personally. Am I mistaken?

OP posts:
fiveacres · 05/06/2015 16:59

Anyway Cheerful ... Boy or girl? Weight? Name? Photos? Congratulations!

Original poster
CheerfulYank · 05/06/2015 16:59

I don't know if I'll have another or not. I think maybe not right now, but in a few years when DS2 is talking and going to preschool I'll probably think "well maybe just onnnnne more." :)

It reminds me of the comedian Jim Gaffigan, who has five or six children. He said "Big families are like waterbed stores. They used to be everywhere and now they're just weird." :o

OP posts:
Original poster
CheerfulYank · 05/06/2015 17:01

He is a boy five :o William Oliver, 8lbs 7 oz, 20 inches, born on May 18th. My third baby the day after my thirty third birthday :)

to think three children isn't a "big" family?
OP posts:
fiveacres · 05/06/2015 17:03

Oh, he is GORGEOUS! Flowers And I love the name!

BabyMurloc · 05/06/2015 17:11

I have 3 and it seems to be pretty average round here. I know a lot of other mums with 3, some with 2, several with 4/5. 1 child seems to be the odd thing around here. Very few people I know have or intend to stick at 1.

I think to some though they see 2 adults 2 kids as the "norm" so anything less or anything more is "wierd" "large/small" or even "wrong" depending how much of an ass they are...

BabyMurloc · 05/06/2015 17:12

Aww that pic just made me melt! He is GORGEOUS. Huge congratulations.

loveandsmiles · 05/06/2015 17:16

I am 31 wks pregnant with DC6, so 3 seems like a small family to meGrin

helenahandbag · 05/06/2015 17:18

Ahh he's lovely!

I don't want kids at all but if it did happen, I would try my best to keep it to one. Therefore, three seems like loads to me Grin

BettyCatKitten · 05/06/2015 17:18

Smile what a cutie, congratsFlowers
I was planning 3 but had 4 (twins!)
So now people class me as having a big family, but I consider 5+ to be big.

getbusyliving · 05/06/2015 17:19

I have 4 and a lot of my friends have 3, so it seems pretty average to me

Original poster
CheerfulYank · 05/06/2015 17:23

Thanks :) He is a sweetheart.

My aunt has six and it seems like a lot, but hers come in pairs (two girls in a year and half, then a four year gap, then a girl and a boy in two years, then a four year gap, then a girl and boy in a year and a half). It doesn't seem like so many, somehow.

OP posts:
GinnelsandWhippets · 05/06/2015 17:28

Depends how you grew up I think. I'm an only child raised by a single parent so anything above 3 people in a house feels massive to me! I have 2 kids and dh and that feels perfect -and noisy. So I would probably be one of the Shock people, not because I think it's weird but because I know I couldn't cope. Flowers Cake and Brew for you, enjoy your lovely little one. He's gorgeous.

ThatsMyOnlyShirt · 05/06/2015 17:32

I'm one of three. Four years between each sibling. I don't feel it's especially big but even growing up in the 90s, two children felt like the norm. People seemed to think sharing a room with my sister was tantamount to child abuse.

My mum was one of eight!

I'd love three or even four children but unless we have a lottery win we will be stopping at two. I do know quite a few families with three children and it sometimes seems like they're finances are stretched (as were my family's growing up, but this could be a reflection of the area I live in) so my decision is very much down to the financial aspect.

NKfell · 05/06/2015 17:34

Aww beautiful and lovely name!! Congrats!

I'm 35 weeks and have already been thinking, well one more won't make a difference...I'll see how I get on with 3!

Hoppityhippityhop · 05/06/2015 17:39

I think three children is quite a large family. Two children in a family has always seemed 'normal' to me. I don't think I know a single person with four or more children.
Most of my closest acquaintances didn't begin their families until they were in their thirties which may be relevant. That said no one in my family of my parent's generation, who all had their children in their twenties, had more than two children.
I know two families who really struggled financially after their third child so it seems to me that you need to have a good income to cope with more than two children

Degustibusnonestdisputandem · 05/06/2015 18:34

Even though it was closer to 20 years ago now, people still asked mum and dad if they didn't have a telly when mum was pregnant with number 5!

Degustibusnonestdisputandem · 05/06/2015 18:34

If a lottery win was forthcoming I'd love to have several more Grin

CakeNinja · 05/06/2015 18:56

I think 3 children makes a big family.
I have 3 and I love it, more aren't totally out of the equation but I think we will stop at what we have.
Financially, the UK doesn't seem able to comprehend the idea that families come as 5+ too. most family attractions that we have visited are based on 2 adults and 2 children, or 1 adult and 3 children. It's fine, we have 3dc and pay accordingly.
Holidays are much more expensive now as pp have mentioned.

puremuscle · 05/06/2015 19:01

Well 1.8 is average so it is fairly large.
I think two seems 'normal' to a lot of people so more than that perhaps seems like a lot.

Congratulations on your new baby!

NinkyNonkers · 05/06/2015 19:04

The norm round here is 3, so you wouldn't be out of the ordinary!

bigbuttons · 05/06/2015 19:06

no three is average, certainly not a large family.

Annunziata · 05/06/2015 19:36

Oh he is gorgeous! Look how squishable and cuddly he is! Beautiful boy Flowers

I think 4 or more now.

I grew up as one of 8, so that seemed normal to me, families with 4 seemed so small!

Cherryblossomsinspring · 05/06/2015 19:45

I think it's a big family to provide for if you want to pay for holidays and college etc. 2 seems far more reasonable for some reason! God, when our 3 go to college that will be nearly 30k/yr in fees alone (they are very close in age).

Anomaly · 05/06/2015 19:53

Three certainly isn't average only 16 percent of families have three or more children. It varies quite a bit by region so some people may live in areas with more 'big' families. It's likely that at some point in the not to distant future that half of families will have just one child.

I love having three definitely get that outnumbered feeling but am stopping at three as can't imagine managing anymore.

ragged · 05/06/2015 20:05

My mind boggled when I brought home Number 3. YABU.