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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think three children isn't a "big" family?

88 replies

CheerfulYank · 05/06/2015 05:53

DH and I have just had DC3 and I'm surprised at the amount of people who think it's a lot. (Not that it doesn't feel like a lot some days :o)

We've gotten so many comments about having our hands full, "surely you're done now", " wow! Three?!", etc. DH was a party the other day and the host introduced him to someone else and said "he and his wife have thirty seven kids or something." Obviously he was joking, but most people seem the think that three is a lot.

I thought 4+ was a "larger family", personally. Am I mistaken?

OP posts:

EthethethethChrisWaddle · 05/06/2015 14:15

I have 5 and I don't count us as a large family, though I guess others would.

I say 6+ is a large family.

BestZebbie · 05/06/2015 14:44

In 2012 only 1 in 7 UK families had three or more children, so YABU, 3 is a large family.

DramaAlpaca · 05/06/2015 14:47

Three children feels normal to me.

OneFlewOverTheDodosNest · 05/06/2015 14:51

I, personally, would think 3 children is a large family because if you have them relatively close together then you need a larger normal size car and you're gonna struggle with holidays. Plus, I only know 1 family with 3 kids so it's unusual in my view

Once you get to 4 kids then normal cars are completely out of the question unless you enjoy leaving kids behind and you're in posh large family territory (with obligatory royal spacing...)

6 kids is minivan territory which is terrifying from a parking point of view, never mind keeping them all fed and watered!

LaurieFairyCake · 05/06/2015 14:56

I'd say it was large. It's a family of 5 people, that's a big family.

camelfinger · 05/06/2015 14:58

I don't think three children means a large family. I'm thinking that if they're all fairly close in age then it might seem like a larger family to some, especially if they were all the same sex.

CatherineU · 05/06/2015 15:00

Yanbu, two or three children is I'd say quite average, at least were we live anyway, I'd say four plus is edging towards having a big family. I have three and I left people gobsmacked when I announced dc3 especially as we already had a boy and a girl, I was even told that I was greedy lol

ScorpioMermaid · 05/06/2015 15:09

I dont think 3 is a large family at all. we have 8 and I'm 34 weeks pregnant with our 9th, we have a large family for sure but I don't know where id define a family as large.. maybe 4+?

NKfell · 05/06/2015 15:14

I'm about to have third and I've had to move house and change cars so now I'm thinking it's large...once we've sorted the car situation I'm sure I won't think that way.

Under normal circumstances 4 is large I would say.

ninaaa · 05/06/2015 15:38

It's above average, the average number of dependent children per family is 1.8, and only 1 in 7 families have 3 or more children. I wouldn't personally call it large though, I would call 5+ children "large".

www.ons.gov.uk/ons/rel/family-demography/family-size/2012/family-size-rpt.html#tab-One-in-seven-families-with-children-had-three-or-more-children

littlemslazybones · 05/06/2015 15:40

Well I don't think it's a large family until I come to do the washing. But then, I am one of three children as is dh, so this feels normal to us.

CruCru · 05/06/2015 15:43

I think 4 is a big family but 3 isn't.

Timetodrive · 05/06/2015 16:00

Families I know with more than two tend to be wealthy so they can absorb the extra cost or the opposite so holidays/ hotels/ attraction are not a consideration. Or they are like myself with a bit too much alcohol and a bit of a mishap and the joy of caravan holidays to fit us all in and a people carrier.

Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 05/06/2015 16:12

I read somewhere that the size of family you are born into is what you regard as a 'normal' size.

So dh sees our 3 DC as a large famy because he was an only child, but I don't as I was the youngest of three.

I am pretty glad dc3 was a contraceptive fail as I think I might have struggled to justify another DC, and our family is just brilliant now and feels perfect to me.

Writerwannabe83 · 05/06/2015 16:14

I class having 3 children as being a big family

fiveacres · 05/06/2015 16:26

I nearly have three, but am single so it actually balances out quite nicely in terms of cars, hotels and so on

I don't think three is a lot but most families when I was growing up had two or three kids.

Theoretician · 05/06/2015 16:28

I blame child car seats.

I was one of three. It didn't constrain what cars either parent drove, as car seats hadn't been invented. (Not sure that cars even had read-seat seatbelts then.)

Now three car-seats in one car is usually difficult or impossible, so most people stop at two children.

Theoretician · 05/06/2015 16:29

rear-seat seatbelts

tilliebob · 05/06/2015 16:30

We have 3 dcs and in my new(ish) workplace it's norm - almost everyone has 3 . I'd call 5 and up a larger family as I know lots of families with 4 dcs and don't consider that large either.

Degustibusnonestdisputandem · 05/06/2015 16:32

I'm one of five so don't think it's a big family....though I guess by today's standards it probably is. We never felt that we didn't get enough of mum and dads time though. That said, we're stopping at two (DTDs)

FunkyPeacock · 05/06/2015 16:38

YANBU - it's bigger than average but not unusual, I have several friends with 3 DC

IMO in the UK, I would class 4+ DC as big

I have 2 so am thoroughly normal

Sallystyle · 05/06/2015 16:40

I have 5, so no it's an average sized family in my eyes and area.

MrsTedCrilly · 05/06/2015 16:55

I think 3 is normal, 3+ would count as large to me.. I would never comment on it though, some people don't have an off switch for their mouths!

Original poster

CheerfulYank · 05/06/2015 16:56

We already had a minivan with two kids and a large dog :o The extra space is amazing!

Maybe it's because of the smaller gap. DS1 is almost 8 and DD is two. I had DS2 two and a half weeks ago, right before DDs birthday. So maybe it seems like I was just pregnant and then was again...it certainly seemed like it to me! :)

OP posts:

cpic · 05/06/2015 16:57

I was one of three and we will be stopping at two, lots of the financial and practical reasons given above hold true for us but mostly we feel we have the emotional energy to give to two, anymore not so. But that's an entirely personal thing, some people stop at one and others are very happy to have six!

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