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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to let dd go for a jog round local country park by herself in the evenings?

103 replies

CocktailQueen · 02/06/2015 11:46

We live ten mins walk from a country park. You have to go along canal to get to it. DD is 11 and wants to go for a run by herself in the evenings along the canal, round country park then home.

AIBU not to let her?

If she had a phone, would that make it any different? She walks to school by herself but that seems different to me - more people around. Country park can be v quiet. Big deep lake too.

DH more inclined to let her go.

Can't think what I'm worried about - abduction? falling into lake? loose dogs in country park (often a problem)? It just feels wrong.

OP posts:
midnightvelvet01 · 02/06/2015 11:48

No I wouldn't. The mobile is a little safer but if someone intends her harm, chances are she won't be able to use it.

Aeroflotgirl · 02/06/2015 11:48

No I wouldent, she is too young.

RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime · 02/06/2015 11:49

YANBU. Especially if it would be a routine for her, as somebody would be able to know when she would be there.

guineawigs · 02/06/2015 11:49

No from me too. Can you go with her?

HelpMeGetOutOfHere · 02/06/2015 11:50

no, I think she's too young. A bit older 14/15 maybe, or if a bunch of friends going then I may reconsider but not if she's alone.

CatthiefKeith · 02/06/2015 11:51

I wouldn't do it at 41, let alone 11.

There are some very strange people out there. Yanbu

BarbarianMum · 02/06/2015 11:51

I really don't know .

If you say no now, at what age would you let her? And why would it be different? It seems wrong that she should never expect to be able to do this sort of thing but it would make me uneasy too. The canal towpath in particular, actually, in my mind they are associated a lot with attacks.

Tbh though it would be the risk of attack only that bothers me, so I am probably being irrational.

ItsTricky · 02/06/2015 11:51

No way. Someone needs to go with her. It's great that she wants to run though. Do you have a junior park run locally?

Aeroflotgirl · 02/06/2015 11:51

I remember when I was 19, I went rollerblading in a country park in the day. Tgere was lots of follage and sweeping tree branches. Out the corner of my eye, I saw a man at a distance begin to chase, I skated for my life towards the exit. I dread to think what would have happened if I wasn't on blades.

Aeroflotgirl · 02/06/2015 11:52

It's too risky, even for an adult, let alone a young girl.

Enb76 · 02/06/2015 11:53

I think she'd be in very little danger - there aren't people hiding behind every tree waiting to grab unsuspecting 11 year olds. Nor are jogging 11 year olds likely to fling themselves into lakes.

I think, as you know exactly where she's going to be, have an idea of how long it will take her and it's during daylight hours that you wouldn't be out of your mind to let her go.

helenahandbag · 02/06/2015 11:53

I was just about to suggest a running group but ItsTricky beat me to it. I don't know where you are situated OP but you could look for something like a Jog Scotland group that takes young members?

Aeroflotgirl · 02/06/2015 11:54

dh of yiu should go with her. I would enrol her in self defence too.

Aeroflotgirl · 02/06/2015 11:55

I just woulden't yet, 11 is too young, in a few years but not now.

RiverTam · 02/06/2015 12:00

can't one of you go with her? DH started running with his dad aged 7. Otherwise a running club would be a better solution, it doesn't sound great as it is.

BarbarianMum · 02/06/2015 12:02
however · 02/06/2015 12:02

Someone should go with her. Running for fun and fitness should be encouraged.

AuntyMag10 · 02/06/2015 12:03

Yanbu, she's far too young and on her own too.

Branleuse · 02/06/2015 12:16

go with her

Velociraptor · 02/06/2015 12:20

Unless there is a lot of crime in the park then I think I would let her go. Maybe go with her the first time, so you know how long is should take, and that she is sure of her route, then let her. I'd say she is in more danger going to school, crossing roads etc, than she is likely to be in a park. I would make sure she takes a phone though, in case of twisted ankles or similar.

popmimiboo · 02/06/2015 12:31

My 13 and 9 year old DDs have started jogging in the fields behind my house. It's a path that leads to the forest. I've allowed them to jog all round the path up to the forest then back again as it is fairly well overlooked by houses (ours included) and there are usually a few joggers and cyclists about. They also have strict instructions to stay together.
There is hardly any risk but I am still a nervous wreck for the 20 mins it takes them.

Anyway OP -how about if you go along for a walk so you're in the vicinity. She'd be independent enough but you'd be able to be close by.
Totally alone, I'd say no, unless it's a very busy park.

pigsDOfly · 02/06/2015 12:31

Sounds very much like my local country park (small town) so very quiet.

It's a pretty park and I love it when I'm there with my dog in the afternoon - sometimes we're the only ones there and it's really peaceful - but I sure as hell wouldn't be letting an 11 year old run round the lake on her own in the evening, or run there myself tbh.

The chances of anything happening to her a pretty slim I imagine, but like you OP, all sorts of scenarios would be going through my head and I think it's putting her at an unnecessary risk letting her to be alone in a park in the evening.

Nice to think that women and girls should have the right to go where they like and have complete freedom of movement, and yes, in an ideal world they would. I'd love to feel that I could walk through the woods at night with my dog and feel safe, as I do during the day.

Unfortunately, we don't live in an ideal world and there are people out there who can't be trusted. In the same way I wouldn't go to bed at night and leave the doors to my house open, I think it's wise to take precautions and not put ourselves or our children into unnecessary potentially dangerous situations.

I think a running group sound like a very good plan.

Aeroflotgirl · 02/06/2015 12:36

barbarian of course not, but my experience did make me I guess a little cautious. It up to yiu what you do as an adult, but letting an 11 year old go on her own in that situation, of course not!

BarbarianMum · 02/06/2015 12:37

pigs I see what you are saying but the people who can't be trusted don't just come out in the evenings. If anything, woodlands and the countryside are probably safest at night because that's when there is no-one there.

Aeroflotgirl · 02/06/2015 12:42

I still wouldent let a 11 year old go on her own. My experience was in the day. I know that you cannot stay at home, but it's not a risk I would take with myself or my child.