To leave DD in library whilst I go to work

[LoveandPeaceGonk]

DD is 10.5

I've been a SAHM since she was born. I've managed to find a part-time job 30 minutes drive from where we live (rural location so no jobs locally).

They want me to start in July which is when DD breaks up for 7 weeks.

We're going away for one week and I've booked her in a sports club for another but am struggling with other weeks

There is a really nice library close to where I'll be working. Would I BU to leave her there for one morning/afternoon a week i.e. 3 hours? She's a bookworm so could amuse herself on that plus the computer.

And there's a cafe next door she could pop into. Plus she'd have her phone with her.

What do you think?

A sensible 10.5 year on with a mobile, in a library for 3 hours = fine

No coogeranddark, I didn't merely 'think' I had to inform ss about an unaccompanied child, it was actual policy / part of my job, as confirmed to me by the councils CPO.

The thing is, that legally we had a duty of care towards our patrons. We would not be able to fulfill that duty of care in the case of an unaccompanied 10 year old. So we would have to legally discharge that duty of care by passing it to social services.

I'm not saying I agreed with this policy BTW, it's bonkers of course.

Funny how no one on the Cons side can give a definitive answer as to when it is fine.

An 11 year old for 1 hour whilst waiting for working parent?

A 12 year old for 2 hours whilst younger sibling at a dance class?

A 15 yr old for 3 hours doing a school project?

No one is asking library staff to take responsibility for any child above the responsibility they would take for any library user.

So anyone under the age of 16 alone in your branches you have to call SS, ifgrandmama? Bonkers policy indeed!

the library regs I have linked to - from Manchester and from East Sussex, BOTH have 8 as the cut off for unaccompanied children. Other posters have said the rule is 8 in their library. The OP plans to leave her 10.5 yr old DD for one session. I fail to see what the problem is to be honest.

There's no black and white answer is there? 8, 9, 10, 11 - it's still young and they do need a bit more attention than your average user and because I'm human I would feel a bit more responsible for a child that age in my branch than I would a capable adult.

Our library had to bring in a policy of no unaccompanied children under 12 allowed because so many parents were using it as childcare. They would deposit their children there and head off shopping. I think yabu, they're not a child care provider.

Now if the library was full of noisy children my ds would want to leave, if it was just him and a few quiet older people he could entertain himself [quietly] for a few hours. So in the end it depends on the library and the child ... only the o.o has all the necessary insight to make a judgement, it might not be suitable but it is not outrageous as an idea.

But using the library in a normal popping in kind of way is different from having to remain within the library for a set length of time because there's no where else for you to go.

If a child wants to go to the library I wouldn't have a problem with that for however long they wanted to stay there.

The problem here is that op wants her dd to go to library so that she can be supervised while she goes to work.

It's a piss take IMO.

If she is able to look after herself for 3 hours in a public place and is that mature for her age why not leave her at home?

Silly, I don't know why you think you are superior to staff in McDonalds or Tesco. If my child was having a meal in McDonalds and an accident happened I would expect them to do the same thing I would expect a library worker to do. The only thing I ever expected library staff to do for my children was do what they would do for anyone else, you know accept books they were returning, check books out for them, maybe assist in finding a book they couldn't locate sort of what they are paid to do. On a similar note I would expect a member of staff in McDonalds to take there order, tell them how much it costs and give them the food.

Op, how streetwise is your DD? Is she used to being left on her own? 10 and 11 year old girls can vary hugely in maturity and appearence. Some are like teenagers (especially if puberty had started) while others are very much still little girls.

Public libraries have all sorts of people going in them and I'm sorry to say it but a 10 year old child sitting alone in a quiet corner could be a potential target for unwanted attention.

Personally, I would leave your DD at home rather than the library for 3 hours.

You keep an eye out for all your customers, though. The elderly lady who shows signs of dementia, the man in his 20s with a learning disability, the 10'year old on the public PC.

It's basic safeguarding to be aware, not to try and minimise the amount you might be required to give a shit by imposing age related bans on sections of your community.

Libraries should be community hubs. Some 'pop in' some stay for longer.

Bonkers thread - love it!

Congratulations OP on your new job. Personally I would leave her in the library if she's happy with that. It's not childcare, you're not asking anyone else to look after her, and she is, presumably at that age, perfectly capable of ringing you if there's a problem.

You're preaching to the choir Cooper but parents need to support that by not abusing the libraries position by using them as dumping grounds rather than arranging childcare.

When I was that age I would have just lost myself in a book for the three hours and been barely aware of where I was. Children who are avid readers really do have the ability to just escape into a book and not really notice their surroundings. If OP's daughter is like that she is unlikely to be causing any hassle or trouble or annoying other people in the library. The staff will barely know she's there.

We reported all abandoned children to the local social services without hesitation. Take your child to your own workplace, don't take advantage of someone else's. Library staff have a great deal to do just keeping the library functioning and cannot watch and care for individual children continually. One child wandered off into a busy shopping precinct. That incident involved the police and a huge search. The little one was found wandering the streets a mile away and had no idea how she got there. She was distressed, the parents were blaming anybody else and particularly my staff. The fallout went on for weeks and caused enormous stress to a lot of very kind and caring people. Very definitely being unreasonable.

Surely if a library's policy is that under 8 year olds must be accompanied by an adult, you cannot moan about a 10 year old?
I would have loved to have some quiet me time to find a good book have a read, if I didn't like it change it easily without having to go back out! If she gets bored of reading she can go on the computers or take some activity books or colouring with her.
Most library's ive been in have a children's section where i often see children sitting alone having a read, sometimes parents are in the building just in a different section and sometimes they have nipped into town.

If the ops dd has a phone and is sensible she should be fine, if after the first time it doesn't work she gets bored or fed up. She just won't go next week!

Silly stuff can I ask - how is it different to dropping a child off at the cinema and telling them you will be picking them up at say 2.30? Or a similar place? I would have thought librarians would be so pleased with children enjoying reading and encouraging them to explore more literature

Leave your ten year old in any other public space for 3 hours on their ownaand people will question it. Libraries are fair game it seems.

Would you do that with a ten year old? 2 hours in the cinema and an hour wandering about whilst you were elsewhere?

It depends on the child really.
A child wandering around a library bored and looking for attention or other kids to play with = problem.
A child sitting quietly in a chair reading and not bothering anyone = no problem.

I wasn't left anywhere alone when I was 10. As a PP said, when it is a public place, that does mean all of the public. There seems to be a weird school of thought on here that public places run by the local authority are totally safe and those that aren't, aren't, but it's still the same public. And FWIW I am a life long book worm, so it's not like I don't think a 10 YO couldn't read for three hours.