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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave DD in library whilst I go to work

526 replies

LoveandPeaceGonk · 02/06/2015 11:04

DD is 10.5

I've been a SAHM since she was born. I've managed to find a part-time job 30 minutes drive from where we live (rural location so no jobs locally).

They want me to start in July which is when DD breaks up for 7 weeks.

We're going away for one week and I've booked her in a sports club for another but am struggling with other weeks

There is a really nice library close to where I'll be working. Would I BU to leave her there for one morning/afternoon a week i.e. 3 hours? She's a bookworm so could amuse herself on that plus the computer.

And there's a cafe next door she could pop into. Plus she'd have her phone with her.

What do you think?

OP posts:
bigmouthstrikesagain · 02/06/2015 13:00

Silly - I don't see your point other places you suggested would not do for the length of time. A park would be boring for that amount of time without friends, McDonald's ok for an hour tops but they are a fast food place, Tesco?Hmm ... the library has opportunity to shelter from uncertain British weather, books, computers... I really do not see the issue. Unless the child is unhappy/ unwilling/ being a nuisance. Which with all the best will in the world you cannot know.

SillyStuffBiting · 02/06/2015 13:02

Lots of people use libraries because they've got no where else to go. Tenyear pold children should have somewhere else to go and not be told to use the library as a base in leui of adequate childcare.

That's the difference.

I, when I ran a branch, wouldn't turf kids that had been left there for the day out as I did feel a sense of responsibility. 10 year olds aren't adults or even teenagers.

CoogerAndDark · 02/06/2015 13:02

It's not a public place, SillyStuff. A couple of pounds wouldn't last you 3 hours.

Libraries are free to all. I know very well that some staff like to appoint themselves Gatekeepers of what's right and proper, but tough shit really, no one's asking them to do anything out of their job description by allowing unaccompanied children over the age of 8 in their library.

BadPoet · 02/06/2015 13:03

"3 hours is not an insignificant length of time and it would be noticed and staff would realise that the child is under instructions to stay in and around the library whilst the parent is otherwise engaged."

Exactly. And while this child is sensible, and book loving, and is able to contact her parent - not all of them are and how are staff meant to know? They are implicitly responsible for the child once they realise they have been left there, and it's not fair.

As has been pointed out by a few actual librarians on the thread, yes this happens but yes it IS problematic. It will probably keep on happening though. It's up to you OP.

BareGorillas · 02/06/2015 13:03

This thread has really made me think actually. My own 10.5 year old would not be left for three hours anywhere, he's well behaved but so anxious about being alone.

And then I read other posts saying they practically spent the entire hols in the library, and it reminded me I was out all day everyday at that age, on my bike, into town, down the beach, sometimes at the library exchanging books, off to visit Gran.

And Mum didn't even work.

I really think this is okay then OP.

SillyStuffBiting · 02/06/2015 13:04

No, the library is chosen over other settings because there's an underlying assumption that the staff are going to look after the child better than a tesco worker or McDonalds server.

Is that not the case?

ahbollocks · 02/06/2015 13:04

Yabu yabu yabu. Pay someone for fucks sake.

Kangaroo1 · 02/06/2015 13:04

Speak to the librarians, as others have said its not fair on them if there is an emergency. Most I know wouldn't be too impressed though, sorry!

fiveacres · 02/06/2015 13:04

Silly - for me it would be the fact that the McDonald's is noisy, is not a public building in the same way a library is and the fact I'm a vegetarian!

The library has a variety of things to do. Books, drawing, computers and a variety of books, moreover, fiction and non fiction.

CoogerAndDark · 02/06/2015 13:04

You couldn't turf out a child who wasn't misbehaving anyway. Disciplinary matter if you start saying who can and can't be in the library unless it contravenes policy.

SoupDragon · 02/06/2015 13:05

No, I suspect it is because the library is full of books and Tescos and McDonalds aren't.

oddfodd · 02/06/2015 13:05

Two known paedophiles? Do they have flashing lights on their heads?

I'd do this if my DS was the sort of child who would sit quietly and read a book for three hours but he isn't.

Once a week for 3 hours for a month is fine I think. I was talking to my mum the other day and remembering that when I was that age, my sister and I would be dumped in the bar at our local sports club for hours on end while our parents played in squash competitions. A library would have been blissful!

ahbollocks · 02/06/2015 13:05

And forgive me if im wrong but I think you are planning to do it more like everyday.

SillyStuffBiting · 02/06/2015 13:06

It's uncomfortable for everyone really. Staff are put in a horrible position.

BabyGanoush · 02/06/2015 13:07

A library is a public place.

Is it legal in the Uk to leave a child of 10 unsupervised in a public place?

Staff is likely to figure out she is being dumped there alone. What would they do? Would they call police/SS?

I cannot imagine it is legal, and in your shoes I'd find another solution.

fiveacres · 02/06/2015 13:07

The OP said clearly once a week so yes, I think you are wrong ahbollocks what an apt username

SillyStuffBiting · 02/06/2015 13:07

So McDonalds with a fully charged ipad then, would that be ok for 3 hours?

fiveacres · 02/06/2015 13:09

No, because an iPad isn't full of books and isn't a publicly run building.

I would let my ten year old into a leisure centre alone but not a McDonald's. I would let them into a library alone but not a Starbucks. Smile

CoogerAndDark · 02/06/2015 13:10

No they're not, SillyStuff. A sign saying staff are not responsible for unaccompanied children so parents are aware is all that's needed.
They have the same responsibility to all users of the library. What happens often is they have their Judgy Pants on and try and say it's Policy. Or they dislike the perceived mess and disruption of children in the library and mask it as concern.

SillyStuffBiting · 02/06/2015 13:11

That's what the op said but it's a vrry part time job isn't it? One morning oraafternoon for 3 hours a week a half hour drive from home?

10 year old kids are in that limbo of being on the cusp of more independence but still require some attention.

Phone your library hq. Get the answer from the horses mouth.

SillyStuffBiting · 02/06/2015 13:12

You can fill an ipad with books.

So what's the difference between the library and Starbucks?

CoogerAndDark · 02/06/2015 13:14

They'd look pretty stupid if they called police\SS, BabyGanoush.

"hello, I'd like to report a child in danger"

"Ok, what are your specific concerns?"

"They are sitting doing their homework. Earlier they read a book and nipped out for a Fanta and a KitKat"

fiveacres · 02/06/2015 13:14

I've answered! One is a public place designed for the general public to use and one is a coffee shop for people to drink coffee. Or eat burgers!

Grin Cooger

bigmouthstrikesagain · 02/06/2015 13:15

Silly could my ds leave our home walk to the library and stay there for 3 hours? I really think that as it is a public facility like the park. He can. 10 yo in my village go to the park and woods and shop at Tesco - unaccompanied and so far no parents have been arrested! They walk to school as well. I am not living in an Enid Blyton novel as far as I am awareGrin

netty7070 · 02/06/2015 13:15

Theoretically there's nowt wrong with a sensible 10 yo being alone in a library for 3 hours BUT you're treating it as childcare, which isn't OK. It isn't.