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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave DD in library whilst I go to work

526 replies

LoveandPeaceGonk · 02/06/2015 11:04

DD is 10.5

I've been a SAHM since she was born. I've managed to find a part-time job 30 minutes drive from where we live (rural location so no jobs locally).

They want me to start in July which is when DD breaks up for 7 weeks.

We're going away for one week and I've booked her in a sports club for another but am struggling with other weeks

There is a really nice library close to where I'll be working. Would I BU to leave her there for one morning/afternoon a week i.e. 3 hours? She's a bookworm so could amuse herself on that plus the computer.

And there's a cafe next door she could pop into. Plus she'd have her phone with her.

What do you think?

OP posts:
Niloufes · 02/06/2015 12:41

Depends if you trust your daughter to be sensible. At that age I used to go out all day on my bike and be back for tea. No mobiles and no checkins and no problems.

DextersMistress · 02/06/2015 12:43

I don't think it's a problem for odd days but are you planning on doing this 3 hours a day, 5 days a week for 5 weeks?

I love reading but even I'd struggle with 15 hours a week alone at the library.

Preciousbane · 02/06/2015 12:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SillyStuffBiting · 02/06/2015 12:43

I'm not saying that at all.

Hmm

3 hours is not an insignificant length of time and it would be noticed and staff would realise that the child is under instructions to stay in and around the library whilst the parent is otherwise engaged.

balletgirlmum · 02/06/2015 12:43

No, she doesn't want heroine where out of the house with adults.

OP wants her somewhere close to work where she can get to easily. I assume if there was a park bench nearby that would do except for the problem of our unpredictable weather.

Lweji · 02/06/2015 12:45

It would be using them as a babysitter if you expected them to actually make sure she was there, or to give her food.

As it is, you are trusting her to be there and to get her own food. It's not babysitting.

bigmouthstrikesagain · 02/06/2015 12:45

There seems a lot of handwriting over this. I have 3 children age 6 to 10 so I could not make use of the library the way o.o is considering. But if my 10 yo ds wanted to go to the library for 2-3 hours independently this summer. I would be overjoyed, he is going to be 11 in Aug and he walks to school and back alone, he is rather anxious (suspected aspergers), so any desire to be more independent will be encouraged. He uses the school library at lunchtime when the playground is too chaotic, so I could imagine him using the local library when his little sisters get annoying over these long summer hols. Am I to understand that I should insist he is back in an hour? Accompany him? I think it depends on the child

PuppyMonkey · 02/06/2015 12:45

OP quite clearly says "one morning or afternoon a week, ie three hours." So not 15 hours a week.Confused

fiveacres · 02/06/2015 12:45

I don't see why that's a problem, though silly - I see packs of children at the shopping centre or McDonald's or the cinema - the library seems far safer to me!

Dexter, I don't think it is five days a week - think the OP said she was part time.

However, she wouldn't be reading solidly for that time. Computer for say an hour and then about an hour and a half reading with half an hour snack/drink seems fine to me!

CoogerAndDark · 02/06/2015 12:46

They could realise that all they like, SillyStuff, but unless there is a clear policy stating ages and time limits it's not in their remit to challenge it, question the child about it or question the parents about it.

bigmouthstrikesagain · 02/06/2015 12:46

Hand wringing! My tablet likes to mess with my meaning!

Lweji · 02/06/2015 12:47

I don't think it's a problem for odd days but are you planning on doing this 3 hours a day, 5 days a week for 5 weeks?

As the OP said:
Would I BU to leave her there for one morning/afternoon a week i.e. 3 hours?

RTFOP :)

But 3 hours a day for 25 days would seem fine to me.

Mrsjayy · 02/06/2015 12:48

Still adult supervision though she is leaving her child in a safe place

CoogerAndDark · 02/06/2015 12:49

Fleas in your Browne issue, PreciousBane? Grin

WanderWomble · 02/06/2015 12:50

I wouldn't leave a child in my local library- it's full of creeps, and two known paedophiles use it.

SillyStuffBiting · 02/06/2015 12:52

So why the library and why not the cafe or park or McDonald's or tesco?

Why is it okay to drop kids of for 3 hours in the library unattended and not the other places?

Remember its a ten year old for 3 hours we are ttalking about.

Artandco · 02/06/2015 12:55

I wouldn't tbh.

Can she go to grandparents a few days either end? 4 hrs trip but if she stayed 3/4 days it would be worth it. Assuming she is sensible she shouldn't be much work for them if they are older as can help them rather than other way around

Local childminder, she won't count as numbers as older by could join them a few hours

Leave at home is probably better tbh. Get her lots of books, new craft supplies, etc and snacks and she should be happy a few hours. Maybe you can let her have a friend over sometimes.

Or you could offer to have a friend of hers a few times in exchange for her going to friends house different days

SillyStuffBiting · 02/06/2015 12:55

Public libraries are a magnet for all sorts. People have rose tinted views of libraries but I've dealt with drugs, threatening behaviour and abuse that I was not expecting to see in a library!

DextersMistress · 02/06/2015 12:55

Sorry, I misread. 3 hours a week is absolutely fine imo.

fiveacres · 02/06/2015 12:55

Because the library is filled with books she can read and McDonald's is filled with burgers!

ifgrandmahadawilly · 02/06/2015 12:56

I used to be a library assistant. This was definitely a big no no where I worked. Our official policy was that we had to contact social services in this situation as it was considered child abandonment.

Librarians are not baby sitters. They have no childcare qualifications.

What if the child is misbehaving and the librarian asks them to leave? Where are they supposed to go then?

CoogerAndDark · 02/06/2015 12:57

Because there are a lot of things for a 10 yr old to do in the library, SillyStuff, if they like books and computers. Cafe next door, too.
You might as well ask why people sit for hours reading the newspapers, or sit at the public computers, or look through Local History making notes.
10 year olds have the right to use the public library just the same as adults, do as long as they wish, if their behaviour isn't a concern.

Again, what age would you approve of a library user spending 3 hours in there?

SillyStuffBiting · 02/06/2015 12:59

Send a ten year old to McDonald's with some books and a couple of pounds. What's the difference?

hoobygalooby · 02/06/2015 13:00

I would feel safer leaving my DC at home alone.
Anyone can enter a library!!
Our local library often has tramps and
allies hanging around it - especially when it's raining
I know there isn't a pervert on every corner and all that but surely a place where children are left unattended for hours at a time is a prime target for such lowlifes

chemenger · 02/06/2015 13:00

So why the library and why not the cafe or park or McDonald's or tesco?

Well I don't know, but I've always found a wider range of books to read for free in the library than these other places. The child likes reading , the mother is facilitating her reading a wider range of books than she is going to find anywhere else. I would have loved three hours in the library at that age (even without computers and cafes).