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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To buy pink for a boy?

187 replies

GrinAndTonic · 01/06/2015 03:22

So the backstory is that my DB and SIL (who is nice enough but is a 15 year old trapped in a 24 year olds body) have a 11 month old girl and a boy on the way.

SIL believes that boys wearing pink is wrong and girls shouldn't wear blue.
She has sold every single pink thing that DNiece has in order to buy blue things for the new DNephew This includes sleeping bags, socks, false washers etc. Any toy that is not pink and 'girly' has been given away. I paid a small fortune for those reusable nappies and they were sold as they were not pink.

Now I know it's not my child, money or decision so I'm not interfering. I have said that it's a waste but I was bitched about on FB about it so I'm keeping my mouth shut.

Anyhoo, AIBU to buy nothing but pink, yellow etc boys clothes and 'girly' toys for the new baby?

OP posts:
Sansarya · 01/06/2015 11:40

Actually, I just realised I misread your sentence about the nappies. I thought she was giving them away as they were pink and her DS couldn’t possibly wear them but I see now that she gave them away because they WEREN’T pink! And come to think of it, I don’t think reusables come in pretty pastel colours anyway, do they? I don’t know how you manage to put up with such a tedious individual OP!

Original poster
GrinAndTonic · 01/06/2015 11:45

We live 1200km away so don't see them often. My DB thinks she is being foolish but doesn't care right now. He is more pissed that she announced the sex of the baby on Facebook before he had a chance to tell family.

I told her that DB wore a pink nightie age two for about six months. He also had a wig, high heels and a handbag (filled with guns sons trucks). She was horrified when I told her.

I have the paperbag princess ready to go for Christmas.

I usually only buy books as I like to give them instead of toys but sometimes you see some adorable outfits that must be bought.

Yes, every non pink items is sold or given away. She is even selling the pink sheets and baby sleeping bags.

Oh she has just invited me to her baby shower I see (via Facebook). I've never been to a second baby baby shower.

I've been looking and can't find anything I like in pink now anyway. my scheme has been foiled.

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 01/06/2015 11:47

Ugh surely you will be a little off colour on the day of that 'shower' Confused

DisappointedOne · 01/06/2015 11:47

And come to think of it, I don’t think reusables come in pretty pastel colours anyway, do they?

DD's did. www.twinkleontheweb.co.uk/acatalog/Itti_Bitti_All_in_One.html

Sansarya · 01/06/2015 11:48

Oh she has just invited me to her baby shower I see (via Facebook). I've never been to a second baby baby shower.

Who throws themselves one baby shower, let alone two? It’s different if someone else is throwing it for you but to do it yourself (especially twice) comes across as a bit grabby. You must be very glad you live so far away - she is sounding worse and worse with every post!

Sansarya · 01/06/2015 11:50

Yes, DisappointedOne but it's a bit ridiculous to get precious about the colour of something that's likely to be covered up by clothes, no?

DisappointedOne · 01/06/2015 11:51

Completely Sansarya.

RiverTam · 01/06/2015 11:59

well, she sounds utterly ridiculous at best, and an out-and-out homophobe at worst, so the colour of her DC's possessions will be the least of their worries, I should think. If your DB thinks she's being foolish then I hope at least he pulls her up on her homophobic twaddle.

Frankly, I wouldn't buy anything at all, and I would tell her why - that she's just ditched all the perfectly acceptable stuff you have given her in the past so you're not wasting your money. But don't spend money on something you know will be binned.

SideOrderofChips · 01/06/2015 12:14

I'm having a boy soon after two girls and im going to enjoy buying boys clothes after a mountain of pink (dd1.. her choice). DD2 has a more varied taste and can just as easily be found in fireman sam pjs as she will be in a sparkly dress or shoes. But its my first DS so i am looking forward to buying lovely bold blues and reds and clothes aimed at boys. I wouldn't put my son in my daughters hand me downs ust because i dont actually have them as DS was a bit of a shock!

itsmeitscathy · 02/06/2015 07:59

disappointed - I find it useful to know if it's a boy or a girl so I can avoid saying "oh, it's lovely" or "what's it's name?".

I also find people can be unhappy when you guess the gender of their baby incorrectly...

Kvetch15 · 02/06/2015 08:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fiveacres · 02/06/2015 08:14

I'm not really getting the pink hatred here.

My DD does not and never has worn excessive amounts of pink. I find that bright Barbie doll shade garish for little girls.

However, I had a baby girl born mid April last year. She wore and wears a lot of lemon yellow, pale pink, pale blue, lilac, lavender, floral prints - all things I probably wouldn't put a DS in.

In other words, I dress her according to my personal tastes - which is what this woman is doing.

Everyone who is being all 'ugh, PINK!' is doing exactly the bloody same in reverse!

MrsMook · 02/06/2015 08:32

Dressing a child solely in one colour is pretty daft.
As it is, I have two boys. When buying for the first baby, I went as neutral as possible so that everything could be reused for that baby and any siblings. Had he have been a girl, I wouldn't have gone down the everything pink route, particularly for items that you would keep for subsequent children as I couldn't be fussed selling it all and replacing with items of the same colour.

Play her at her own game, get something horribly over-masculine. Maybe mud coloured and military themed. Grin Anything else would probably be wasted anyway.

Alisvolatpropiis · 02/06/2015 08:37

I don't really get the Mumsnet attitude that pink is fantastic for boys but you have your daughter if she wears/likes pink.

There are so many other colours available for both boys and girls. I'm expecting a baby girl very imminently and haven't bought anything pink, because I prefer all the yellows and mints currently in the shops. Other people have bought pink though, which I'll no doubt put her in.

purdiepie · 02/06/2015 08:45

What a churlish person you are, OP. Grow up.

OTheHugeManatee · 02/06/2015 08:54

Your cousin should visit a trading floor, or perhaps a shipbroker. Swarming with men in pink shirts they are, and not well known for being bastions of effeminacy and homosexuality.

In fact if she wants to raise her son as a raging macho homophobe she should stick him in a pink shirt and encourage him to work in financial services.

Your cousin is a silly woman. Just don't get a present. Problem solved.

NerrSnerr · 02/06/2015 08:59

Of course it's stupid if she thinks her son will catch the gay if he wears pink. If is equally stupid that people think their daughter will be less of a feminist if she wears pink (I'm assuming that's the reason but please enlighten me if I'm wrong).

SweetAndFullOfGrace · 02/06/2015 09:08

No Nerr it's not the reason. Pink is not "just a colour" when it's in the hands of a multi billion pound marketing juggernaut that profits from training little girls to be vapid surface-oriented insecure consumers. And in doing so pushes them into a stereotyped "girl" box and leads them away from lots of activities that they would otherwise enjoy and get a lot out of. It's not the colour on it's own that limits the ambitions of little girls, obviously, it's the whole picture that it represents.

I honestly don't care if my daughter wears pink. I care a lot if she only wears pink. I don't believe children who make that choice have done it in isolation. To say so would be to show naivety about the power of modern marketing.

x2boys · 02/06/2015 09:19

Yabu I don't get the whole boy colours ,girl colours things but when my boys were babies I wanted them to look like boys I,m sure I would have wanted any girls to look like girls!

ShadowFire · 02/06/2015 09:25

fiveacres - when I've bought clothes for my DC, I've chosen them according to my personal taste, yes.

We have, however, been given clothes that I do not like. But I haven't thrown them away just because I don't like them very much. I've tended to keep them as second best or reserve clothes - e.g. they come out if I'm behind with washing and there's a sudden run of DC trashing what they're wearing / if I'm planning doing something messy with DC / for nursery because I don't care so much if they get stained then.

I wait until the disliked clothes have been grown out of before I pass them on because I think that giving them away immediately is wasteful.

flora717 · 02/06/2015 09:25

Whether you hate pink or love it. Whether you think boys wearing blue / girls wearing pink is anything other than a ploy by clothing companies to get you to buy more .... limiting a child's clothes, bedding, toys etc to one colour / limited range (eg pastels). Is boring as all hell.

x2boys · 02/06/2015 09:27

Bit silly if she thinks wearing pink will turn a boy gay ds2 has only just started showing an interest in toys as he has ASD Santa brought him a pram and a dolly and a toy kitchen along with cars etc !

OnlyLovers · 02/06/2015 09:31

I honestly don't care if my daughter wears pink. I care a lot if she only wears pink. I don't believe children who make that choice have done it in isolation. To say so would be to show naivety about the power of modern marketing.

This is EXACTLY it, for all those saying 'why do MNetters think it's bad to dress girls in pink?'

It's not; it's just stupid to not give clothes and toys to a boy because they're not pink, which is what this woman is doing.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 02/06/2015 09:53

I'm a bit lost on the pink, non-pink, non-other-colours, what's happening with blue????

But I think you'd be wasting your money to buy anything clothing related by the sounds of it. Buy a book, or toy, or give a voucher Grin Personally I'd rather not waste my money on something that's most likely to be given away or sold. SIL sounds a bit demanding though so YANBU to be annoyed at that.

We have a DD and I'm expecting a DS. We will re-use the non-pink items for him but we will pass on the pink baby gros. He will wear the pink and lilac re-useable nappies though as they're under clothes. I've enjoyed buying some gender neutral and boyish things for him, just like I enjoyed buying girly things for DD when she was little.

I would re-use a pink playmat for boy but we deliberately bought gender neutral stuff for DD if it was expensive and likely to be re-used, for precisely this reason.

YANBU to be annoyed with your SIL but YABU to say or do anything about it.

HazleNutt · 02/06/2015 09:54

I think she's daft - I'm having a DD after DS and I can't think of any of his clothes or toys I would not use for her. But also, it would be waste of money to boy anything to make a point.

Wait a little and buy the new baby a toy pram instead. Grin