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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to use a buggy for 8 year old

207 replies

ghostspirit · 31/05/2015 16:50

my 8 year old is not well. but i really need to go out tomorrow. as i need to registar babys birth. its meant to be done 42 days after birth but hes 6 weeks so im already late doing it and i cant council because it would take to long for the next appointment. plus i need to go to the council and could be sitting there for hours.... i dont have anyone to leave him with.

or do i give him calpol and get him to walk as he 8 after all

OP posts:
ShadowsInTheDarkness · 01/06/2015 08:51

This thread is horrible! Fgs when you need money coming in you do what you have to do, even if a load of people on the internet think it's a bad idea! I'm sniggering at all the hand wringers who would take their DC to the doctors for a standard virus. Am now suddenly understanding why I can never get an appointment at my surgery, they're clearly all taken up by precious DC who seems a bit under the weather. Surely just as cruel to drag a child with a virus to the doctors for an apptmnt they don't need as they are professing OP to be by taking her 8yo out to register the baby!

Fwiw OP I'd take him in the buggy. I get that in an ideal world you wouldn't take an ill child out in public but needs must. I recently had to take my 4yo on a bus with D&V. Yes that was very much less than ideal, and I'm sure many on this thread will call me selfish but younger child needed to see a doctor (asthmatic 2yo), I have a limited support network who were all at work when this was happening, am a lone parent and not in any way able to afford £20 taxis currently. So you know, she sat there in the buggy with a bucket. You know the situation and your personal circs, don't get drawn into justifying yourself to every person who disagrees with you. Do what you have to do.

Chillyegg · 01/06/2015 08:52

Have someThanks from me

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 01/06/2015 09:00

I thought mumsnet was supposed to be support for parents?
OP you do what you need to do. No it's not ideal, but a lot of things in life aren't. Some people don't understand that others genuinely have noone to help out (and can't afford a babysitter or a taxi!). I hope your children are feeling better soon.

TwinkieTwinkle · 01/06/2015 09:03

12 year old is vomiting, so problem solved now? He can't be going to school like that. Leave eight year old with him. I feel for you but it's just not fair to take a potentially contagious child out and risk other people's health.

MayPolist · 01/06/2015 09:05

I would leave him a t home lying on the sofa watching TV for an hour or two, providing he has not got form for doing silly things.

sleeponeday · 01/06/2015 09:20

Can't believe people are being so unpleasant. What is the OP supposed to do? Keep her son at home so he's not taken out feeling poorly, but then not feed him the next month because she has no maternity allowance to buy food with? What? There is no choice here that doesn't screw up her finances beyond repair.

Some people have no support and little money and have to make hard choices about what is the least bad option for their family as a direct result, and if you genuinely don't understand that reality, faced by a lot of people in this country I may add, then I think you might want to keep that failing to yourself. OP is not "being selfish" in wanting to get the paperwork she needs to access the money with which she will feed her children, fgs.

OP, Calpol and buggy sound fine in the circs - just equip him with something to blow his nose with and remind him to cover his mouth when he coughs etc. I wish you lived near us, I'd have him for you.

Congrats on the new baby. Flowers

sleeponeday · 01/06/2015 09:22

And she can't leave a vomiting 12 year old to care for an 8 year old - on what planet?! The 12 year old may be fine alone - I was a latchkey kid at that age in London - the 8 year old with his older brother so unwell, no way.

TwinkieTwinkle · 01/06/2015 09:24

Do not leave him at home on his own. If he's ill enough that he needs a buggy then he is too ill to be left on his own. I wouldn't leave my eight year old alone for that amount of time on a good day. You would just be terrified the whole time you're out.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 01/06/2015 09:30

So you wouldn't leave him on his own Twinkie but would be happy to leave him with an ill 12 year old who is probably not capable of being responsible for his brother (as he is vomiting)?

TwinkieTwinkle · 01/06/2015 09:34

A 12 year old who has the same illness. Basins, calpol and bed. Don't really see the issue. A 12 year old is more than capable of knowing whether something is wrong, vomiting or not.

Number666livesaMrMIller · 01/06/2015 09:42

Some of these replies are horrid! Snide comments about benefits, questioning the OP constantly when the situation has been explained numerous times?! Nice.
It's not an ideal situation but sometimes we have to do the best we can given the circumstance. Tuck your son up in the buggy and catch the bus regardless. Those who shout get him to a doctor, no wonder there are no appointments left for the genuinely poorly who NEED medical attention. He has a virus, he was probably contagious and spreading germs long before he had symptoms. Last time I checked buses weren't sterile environments. You have no choice, it's bloody hard with family on hand so for what it's worth I think you're doing a grand job. Hope all are feeling better soon.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 01/06/2015 10:56

i managed to get baby sitter in the end.

but there is no way i would have left him with my 12 year old.

OP posts:
hazeyjane · 01/06/2015 10:58

Glad you got it sorted, ghost.

Good luck with everything. X

ilovesooty · 01/06/2015 11:08

Great news ghost

I think some of the responses you've had have been really unpleasant.

Koalafications · 01/06/2015 11:10

Glad you have got it sorted ghost

Ignore the twatty responses on the thread. Smile

MayPolist · 01/06/2015 11:11

I think 8 is fine in most cases to be left alone.I remember somebody reporting one family boy at DS's school for leaving their (crazy, immature ) 8 yr old at home alone for an hour every evening, and the SS told them basically it was fine for an hour at that age.

milliemanzi · 01/06/2015 11:14

Ugh some right pricks on this thread (Regina I'm looking at you).
Glad you got everything sorted op.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 01/06/2015 11:28

maypolist i would not risk it. i know some people are happy to do it but i would not.

OP posts:
NeedsAsockamnesty · 01/06/2015 11:31

I wouldn't be comfortable leaving an 8yo either and I wouldn't leave an under 16 in charge of an under 10 either op.

Glad you got it sorted,I'm hoping you got the cert everywhere it's needed as well and your finances will be sorted promptly

Pipistrella · 01/06/2015 11:53

I couldn't conceivably leave my almost-8yo on his own, he is scared of going to his bedroom/the kitchen/the bathroom by himself, he would be unable to function Smile

I would leave my 12yo alone but not for more than an hour.

Glad you've got someone to watch them.

sweetkitty · 01/06/2015 12:48

Glad you got a babysitter in the end, it's not easy is it? Hope he's feeling better soon as well and you can get some stress free time with your new baby x

Original poster
ghostspirit · 01/06/2015 13:38

no kitty cant wait till wednesday when they all back at school. 4 year old is being really naughty hope she dont get the bug need her at school.

12 year old being sick but fine in himself....8 year old was crying this morning but seems ok now. he just said he feels better but if he watches tv it feels like the house is moving.

OP posts:
badg3r · 01/06/2015 13:43

Phone the council and see if you can take a later appointment. We registered our boy well after 42 days because there was no earlier appointment available and they were fine with it. I think it's more of a guideline than set in stone deadline.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 01/06/2015 13:47

its been sorted now badg

OP posts:
Sallystyle · 01/06/2015 14:14

I am so glad it is sorted.

This thread is fucking horrible though.

Sometimes needs must, and if I was short of money and needed to register my baby to get mat allowance then I would do what I had to do to get there. Selfish? maybe, but I at the same time I would be more concerned with feeding my children than worrying that a baby might catch my child's virus when there are people walking around with viruses everywhere anyway. I would never expose a baby to a virus on purpose, but if it is between that and having no money I would have taken him in the pram if that was my only option as well. You need to feed your children after all.

Hope the kiddies feel better soon OP. You needed support and got a load of shit instead. Oh well, sure they feel better about themselves now they managed to bring someone who is struggling down.