To think there are a lot of misconceptions about terminating a pregnancy

[fiveacres]

Obviously, about abortion, which is a contentious issue for some.

I am approaching the third due date of the pregnancy I terminated in the autumn of 2011 at 9 weeks.

I was a very pious sort once, who believed that abortions were morally wrong. i admit that freely. I still do feel that the best option is not to be in that position in the first place.

However, although I do sometimes think about it, I don't regret it. I've been pregnant twice since so it hasn't affected my fertility.

I paid privately. I did not have any counselling - I was undecided when I went for the initial appointment but I have to say it was very much 'assumed' that I wanted to terminate. The record of the abortion is not in my medical file.

You don't have to give a reason, although they did press me to have the implant, which I refused. They did do a scan, which was a bit upsetting.

It did not hurt. I was warned I would bleed a lot but I didn't. My periods came back in 6 weeks.

You are in a room with a LOT of other women after the procedure, which is upsetting.

Other than that, I felt good after having it done, relieved, happy, mainly relieved.

I do have the odd flash of guilt. I wouldn't do it again.

But, I was reading another thread and it crossed my mind a lot of people do not really seem to know what having a termination is like. My experience may be typical or it may not be, I don't know, but it would be interesting to see what the experiences of others are to try to dispel or to address some of the myths that surround this difficult but sometimes necessary issue.

And that foetus would then have the right to track her down at some future point of his/her life, the woman is left with that risk forever hanging over her.

The implications of such a system would put even more pressure on women to keep unwanted children. There'd be social pressure, pressure from peers, from family, from health care professionals -whether overt or implied - that to go that far and then give the baby up for adoption is the wrong choice, that you 'may as well keep it' having gone through a delivery. This is often a contributing factor in why very few women carry unwanted pregnancies to full term and then give the resulting baby up for adoption. Social expectation is that once there is a tangible infant there, alive and 'real', you are it's mother whether you want to be or not and you are failing as a mother to not want to take care of that baby.

I'm not entirely sure of your meaning, Through, but I am assuming that you feel to terminate a pregnancy is wrong and that in doing so I have ended a life.

Obviously, I respect your view. I recognise abortion is a very difficult issue and not everybody will be comfortable with it or feel it is acceptable.

However, where I am slightly confused is my 'recommendation' - this wasn't a recommendation but a recount of my experience - that it 'didn't hurt' and 'good for me.'

Do you feel abortions SHOULD be physically painful, to punish the woman for doing an act you deem morally wrong?

Because you know, for me personally, it didn't hurt. It wasn't uncomfortable or painful or unpleasant.

Do you want it to be?

But abortion doesn't hurt the foetus as nerve endings and receptors aren't developed enough to feel pain. This is particularly true in very early abortions of less than 6-7 weeks when it is literally a blob of cells. Or am I missing something. ..?

(Steering away from late term abortion discussion so as not to derail the thread).

"that foetus would then have the right to track her down at some future point of his/her life"
Tonberry - but again, that goes beyond bodily autonomy.

Remember, we're pretty much talking about hypotheticals here because people say that they support the right to abortion to term for any reason (to support the woman's right to bodily autonomy) but it would 'never happen'/ 'be vanishingly rare' so if you have the choice, in a hypothetical argument, to support a woman's right to bodily autonomy without terminating the foetus then why specifically choose to support termination?

When my sister had her late pregnancies at 22 and 24 weeks neither of her reasons were medical.

The first time was when she was young and she kept the pregnancy to herself until she eventually told my dad when she was 19 weeks gone.

The second time was because she didn't want another child with her bastard of a partner (they already had two together). He didn't even know she was pregnant in the first place.

Good question five. My personal experience of threads on the issue of abortion is that, once that particular issue is introduced, the thread tends to go downhill.

However, as you say, people are entitled to share their opinions, even if we don't all agree, which is fair enough.

"it is literally a blob of cells"

Are you referring to the blastocyst? That is earlier than 6/7 weeks.

Why are you so positive about it OP? That's what I don't understand. And yes it's a bit personal. My parents didn't plan me. They were absolutely devastated. They went through with it though. Thank god they were my patents, and not you. Luck of the draw, eh?

No, I'm not referring to a blastocyst. I'm referring to a foetus roughly the size of a lentil with only the most rudimentary of forms - buds rather than arms or legs, no sentience, no movements.

Thanks flippinada

I did see a counsellor and she really was a great help to me. It was a relief to be able to go and talk to someone once a week and let my feelings out when those around me who knew about it deemed that I should be over it and moving on, business as usual.

In terms of pro choice society thinking women can easily bounce back, someone said to me they thought I had been upset too long and this was only about 3 weeks after the procedure! This was a person who had been wonderfully supportive, but she just didnt get it. My ex also thought I should be immediately back to normal after a few days.

In terms of the foetus not being developed enough to feel pain, I can't imagine many terminations are carried out as early as 6-7 weeks though.

Actually at 6-7 weeks it's called an embryo. At 7 weeks it is about ½ an inch long (bigger than a lentil), has distinct fingers and toes and its liver is churning out red blood cells. Why try to minimise it when you support abortion to term anyway?

Oh, and it does move.

I haven't had an abortion, but I have had 5 planned pregnancies. 3 were successful outcomes but 2 were silent miscarriages and unfortunately both ultimately required D&C under general anaesthetic, which gives me some idea as to the experiences of those that have had the surgical procedure.

The first was straightforward and recovery was quick, the second wasn't great, it was 10 days before Christmas, and we'd gone for our dating scan to be told it had happened again. I haemorrhaged on the operating table and ended up getting a blood transfusion and having to lie on a blood saturated bed and remain catheterised overnight on a gynae ward despite me asking the nurses to change the sheets because they said I was too weak to be moved and weren't entirely sure that I wouldn't have to go back to theatre again.

Was an absolutely horrendous night, lying in a pool of blood listening to Christmas carols on the radio at the nurses station. It took me a long time to process that experience.

But. I am 100% pro choice.

Having experienced some of the complications that can occur in the surgical evacuation of a foetus whether no longer viable or not, it isn't an easy option, and I don't think women should be lambasted for making a decision about their own bodies whatever their reasons are.

I saw the other thread, and while it deeply saddens me that gender selection is a consideration for a minority of women, I still advocate for their right to decide, and always will.

No judgement from me

I'm glad to hear you had some support afterwards Yellow. I think the people saying you should be over it were being actively unkind and (at best) insensitive.

Writer, I think a lot of them are done that early. I didn't find out I was pregnant until 6 weeks, spent a couple of weeks unsure and deciding what to do, had it at 10 weeks. If someone finds out as soon as they miss their period and knows their decision straight away then they could easily be in for6-7 weeks.

Throughthick she doesn't sound positive. Just not sad. Why should she. And why do you think you have any right to judge someone on how they feel. Especially how they feel about something that happened in there body!

Five I think you have been brilliant on these threads. Very dignified. Not sure I could hold my annoyance down.

I've had miscarriages pre-12 weeks and post-12 weeks. Without being overly graphi, pre-12 weeks looks nothing like a 'baby' and even post-12 weeks, while recognisable as human, is by no means a finished product in term of appearance.

I'm not minimising anything.

I can't speak for anyone else, but my abortion took place at 6 weeks, so they do happen. I was given a scan beforehand to check.

You're probably right actually. I know exactly when conception occurred (split condom) and I had my termination 55 days later. It took me a few weeks to find the courage to tell my mom I was pregnant and then I remember it all happening very quickly.

I feel fine to judge because she's started a thread about it? Why shouldn't i? It may be happening in her body, but it's to do with the body that's not hers and she gets sole choice.

I don't remember being scanned. I do remember being told my EDD at the abortion clinic, I have no idea why they thought it was helpful to tell me that and now it's forever ingrained in my mind

Tonberry, I think most of us know what 12 week old foetuses look like seeing as we have scans at that stage. You won't actually know at what point the foetus stopped growing before you miscarried. My baby had died quite early on in the pregnancy but I didn't miscarry right away.

Sorry to hear about your miscarriages

Actually I do know. Scan at 6wks, heartbeat and measuring right. Scan at 7wks, no heartbeat and still measure six weeks. Scan at 15 weeks, heartbeat, measuring right. Scan at 16 weeks, no heartbeat. So yes I know exactly when the pregnancy ended. And a second trimester on a screen is in black and white/grey, it is far removed from the physical reality of what one actually looks like.

So really you're saying that a 6 week old foetus looks nothing like a baby which would have been fairly obvious seeing as we're talking about something which is under ½ inch. That still doesn't make it a 'blob of cells' as you previously said.