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AIBU?

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To think there are a lot of misconceptions about terminating a pregnancy

999 replies

fiveacres · 29/05/2015 18:17

Obviously, about abortion, which is a contentious issue for some.

I am approaching the third due date of the pregnancy I terminated in the autumn of 2011 at 9 weeks.

I was a very pious sort once, who believed that abortions were morally wrong. i admit that freely. I still do feel that the best option is not to be in that position in the first place.

However, although I do sometimes think about it, I don't regret it. I've been pregnant twice since so it hasn't affected my fertility.

I paid privately. I did not have any counselling - I was undecided when I went for the initial appointment but I have to say it was very much 'assumed' that I wanted to terminate. The record of the abortion is not in my medical file.

You don't have to give a reason, although they did press me to have the implant, which I refused. They did do a scan, which was a bit upsetting.

It did not hurt. I was warned I would bleed a lot but I didn't. My periods came back in 6 weeks.

You are in a room with a LOT of other women after the procedure, which is upsetting.

Other than that, I felt good after having it done, relieved, happy, mainly relieved.

I do have the odd flash of guilt. I wouldn't do it again.

But, I was reading another thread and it crossed my mind a lot of people do not really seem to know what having a termination is like. My experience may be typical or it may not be, I don't know, but it would be interesting to see what the experiences of others are to try to dispel or to address some of the myths that surround this difficult but sometimes necessary issue.

OP posts:
GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter · 03/06/2015 19:47

most of your 'pro-choice' sentiments stop and end with ' I support a woman's right to choose'.

What are you basing that on, bumbley?

bumbleymummy · 03/06/2015 19:47

Little reminder of one of Winter's comments on the last page: ""You're pretending that women wouldn't need abortions if we sorted out relationship problems and better maternity leave? Its nonsense. "

Anyone want to point out where I said this? Anyone? And it's not the first time she's done something like that.

Excuse me while I throw a little tantrum because someone misrepresented what I said on a thread on the internet.

"Women are incubators to you." FALSE

lastuseraccount123 · 03/06/2015 19:47

to be fair I don't think Bumbley has said we're just incubators. she seems to think that the fetus has a 'right to life' and all her arguments seem to stem from that position. The implication is that women would lose their bodily autonomy to give the fetus it's 'right to life' but she hasn't come out and said that so not sure.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 03/06/2015 19:48

Because I can't say what I do

Why? Because you do nothing, is the most likely reason. You're a keyboard warrior with a nasty agenda and an out-dated opinion.

Pro-choice sentiments are meant to stop and start at "I support a womens right to choose". That is the only thing that matters. The rest is just opinion. If you learn nothing else from this thread, at least take away that.

flippinada · 03/06/2015 19:48

Winter, I just want to post a message of support. You've been very restrained in the face of some thoroughly unpleasant behaviour. Hope you're ok.

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 03/06/2015 19:50

Thank you, flippinada. Appreciated. I'm far too pregnant to be raising the blood pressure this much, but hey, it matters Wink

SabrinnaOfDystopia · 03/06/2015 19:50

FALSE? Ah, so you've changed your mind about inflicting your pro-life guff on every other woman then. Glad to hear it.

lastuseraccount123 · 03/06/2015 19:53

okay I'm going to guess.

She's an Irish politician.

GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter · 03/06/2015 19:54

This is your post that I think Winter was referring to:

I've commented before about abortion often being the symptom of other problems - eg abusive relationships or women feeling under pressure. I think when people focus on abortion and how it needs to be kept legal they are often brushing those underlying issues under the carpet. I've read some very interesting articles written by feminists about how men have basically convinced women that they need to turn against themselves/their own biology to 'solve the problem' when actually the 'problem' is often the result of men's influence in society. Eg, women feeling that they can't take time out of their career etc.

I can see the link between the two - perhaps slightly hyperbolic, but not outlandish.

flippinada · 03/06/2015 19:54

You're welcome Winter. Have some Thanks.

Writerwannabe83 · 03/06/2015 19:54

Just saw your comment about being pregnant winter - congratulations!!!! Flowers

I'm so jealous, my DH doesn't want a 2nd Hmm

bumbleymummy · 03/06/2015 19:55

Winter - "Pro-choice sentiments are meant to stop and start at "I support a womens [sic] right to choose". That is the only thing that matters."

Stop at saying that and doing very little else. If you're pro-choice why not make sure women have all the choices they can available to them to help make decisions that may go beyond abortion?

That's fine, you go ahead and think that's the reason for me deciding not to out myself on the internet just so I can score points against some random people. It's not important in the grand scheme of things.

Restrained? Yeah, tantrums and swearing. Very 'restrained'.

BertrandRussell · 03/06/2015 19:56

I know it's bad form to bring in stuff from other threads- but as that one has reached it's 1000- bumbleymummy, this might be a good place to explain the link you feel exists between pro choice people and benefit bashers........

SabrinnaOfDystopia · 03/06/2015 19:56

Thanks for Winter from me too.

Don't raise the blood pressure - bumbley has form for this.

GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter · 03/06/2015 19:56

Stop at saying that and doing very little else. If you're pro-choice why not make sure women have all the choices they can available to them to help make decisions that may go beyond abortion?

FFS bumbley, Winter has clearly stated the work she does to support women. You're being quite offensive. Are you having trouble reading that post?

GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter · 03/06/2015 19:57

Not asking you to out yourself, bumbley, just give an indication of the work you do to support women - just like Winter did upthread.

FeijoaSundae · 03/06/2015 19:57

Bumbley, you said at 18:11:02

I think if we 'fixed society' many of the issues that push women towards abortion wouldn't exist.

bumbleymummy · 03/06/2015 19:57

"If you're pro-choice why not make sure women have all the choices they can available to them to help make decisions that may go beyond abortion?"

That 'you're' isn't specifically aimed at you, Winter. It's aimed at anyone who calls themselves pro-choice but does nothing beyond saying they 'support a woman's right to choose' without actually helping to give her more choices beyond abortion.

BertrandRussell · 03/06/2015 19:59

But you're not prepared to even give an indication of what you're doing?

bumbleymummy · 03/06/2015 20:00

Yes Fei, ' many of the issues wouldn't exist' not "women wouldn't need abortions if we sorted out relationship problems and better maternity leave".

lastuseraccount123 · 03/06/2015 20:00

and? so? we don't have to. We stay out of their lives and let them use the resources they need, which happily exist already.

GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter · 03/06/2015 20:01

Yeah, the hypocrisy is pretty staggering there. Bumbley doesn't feel the need to give any details on what she does to support women's choices, beyond cryptic hints, but feels entitled to criticise other women for somehow not working to support women's choices. Even though they do. Confused

bumbleymummy · 03/06/2015 20:04

"We stay out of their lives and let them use the resources they need, which happily exist already."

So you support one choice then? Abortion?

lastuseraccount123 · 03/06/2015 20:07

is that what I said?

YouBastardSockBalls · 03/06/2015 20:08

These threads are so unpleasant.

I don't believe in abortion. I believe that it is deeply wrong. I obviously don't go around saying this to women who have had abortions but inside, yes, I do judge them. As is my right.

Why is it not ok to be pro-baby? Or whatever you want to call it? Why are people called all sorts of names and labelled 'outdated' for believing that babies in utero should not be killed for reasons of convenience?