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To think there are a lot of misconceptions about terminating a pregnancy

999 replies

fiveacres · 29/05/2015 18:17

Obviously, about abortion, which is a contentious issue for some.

I am approaching the third due date of the pregnancy I terminated in the autumn of 2011 at 9 weeks.

I was a very pious sort once, who believed that abortions were morally wrong. i admit that freely. I still do feel that the best option is not to be in that position in the first place.

However, although I do sometimes think about it, I don't regret it. I've been pregnant twice since so it hasn't affected my fertility.

I paid privately. I did not have any counselling - I was undecided when I went for the initial appointment but I have to say it was very much 'assumed' that I wanted to terminate. The record of the abortion is not in my medical file.

You don't have to give a reason, although they did press me to have the implant, which I refused. They did do a scan, which was a bit upsetting.

It did not hurt. I was warned I would bleed a lot but I didn't. My periods came back in 6 weeks.

You are in a room with a LOT of other women after the procedure, which is upsetting.

Other than that, I felt good after having it done, relieved, happy, mainly relieved.

I do have the odd flash of guilt. I wouldn't do it again.

But, I was reading another thread and it crossed my mind a lot of people do not really seem to know what having a termination is like. My experience may be typical or it may not be, I don't know, but it would be interesting to see what the experiences of others are to try to dispel or to address some of the myths that surround this difficult but sometimes necessary issue.

OP posts:
lastuseraccount123 · 03/06/2015 18:38

that's not what winter said.

ttc2015 · 03/06/2015 18:39

Okay I misread you, so that has nothing to do with an abortion argument then. That's a private decision between two people and more akin to surrogacy where the baby is handed over at the end. If the woman isn't happy to continue the pregnancy then no she should not think on his wants, if she is happy to as long as she can terminate all parental rights then that's a private decision.

lastuseraccount123 · 03/06/2015 18:39

bumbley, what if the woman in your scenario just doesn't want to be pregnant? Just that. Nothing more.

GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter · 03/06/2015 18:39

Sure there are always ways to try and support those women who may not really want an abortion but feel pushed by circumstance. And to look at aspects of our society that may have knock on effects of reducing abortion rates. Thats all good. But its incredibly naive to think we can magic away all the reasons for abortion.

does not equal

Winter, because not all can be fixed by those things just do nothing?

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 03/06/2015 18:40

Winter, because not all can be fixed by those things just do nothing?

I specifically said the opposite. Seriously, if you're not going to read, please don't respond. Youre wasting everyones time, not just your own.

bumbleymummy · 03/06/2015 18:56

Winter, because if the father didn't step in then she would have the abortion because she didn't want a child. The fact the the father is prepared to step in can 'solve' that problem.

Winter, given that you've accused me of saying plenty of things that I haven't said on this thread you aren't really in a position to say 'if you're not going to read please don't respond'.

I didn't say anywhere that solving those issues would resolve every situation where a woman might request an abortion. Seeing as you're 'pro-choice' don't you think it's worth improving the available choices in some way? What are you doing about it?

GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter · 03/06/2015 19:09

Seeing as you're 'pro-choice' don't you think it's worth improving the available choices in some way?

Winter already said it was worth working to improve that, as has been pointed out to you already:

Sure there are always ways to try and support those women who may not really want an abortion but feel pushed by circumstance. And to look at aspects of our society that may have knock on effects of reducing abortion rates. Thats all good.

bumbleymummy · 03/06/2015 19:12

And what is she doing about it?

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 03/06/2015 19:16

What am I doing about it? You've got a fucking nerve. You misrepresent me and then ask me what I'm doing to help women not have abortions?
I'm pretty busy trying to help women who need them have abortions, when we live in a country that bans them. But since you ask, I also work for womens aid, fundraise for a woman and childrens centre and work for the National Womens Council.
I don't sit on my arse arguing that men should have rights over womens bodies and telling lies on the internet, like you. What the fuck do you to help anyone instead of hinder them?
Please don't address me personally again, I won't respond to you at all.

bumbleymummy · 03/06/2015 19:18

Winter: "You're pretending that women wouldn't need abortions if we sorted out relationship problems and better maternity leave? Its nonsense. "

I didn't say this but it didn't stop her going off about me being 'anti-woman' and trying to 'magic away all the reasons for abortion. '

WinterOfOurDiscountTents15 · 03/06/2015 19:19

HQ, any movement on that "block poster" option?

bumbleymummy · 03/06/2015 19:27

"You've got a fucking nerve. You misrepresent me and then ask me what I'm doing to help women not have abortions? "

Well considering that on this thread you have misrepresented me countless times, falsely accused me several times, called me 'anti-women' and told me to 're-focus my energy from my 'anti-women' work' I actually think you have a 'fucking nerve' to even try to be offended when I call you out.

And you don't even know what I do so maybe think about that before you start throwing nonsense accusations around about 'sitting on my ass arguing' which is exactly what you are doing at the moment too.

bumbleymummy · 03/06/2015 19:28

Grow up.

GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter · 03/06/2015 19:30

Why don't you tell us what you do, bumbley, then that would clear up any misunderstanding? You often say things like 'you don't know what I do' on these threads but never give any indication of what that actually is.

bumbleymummy · 03/06/2015 19:32

Because I can't say what I do. But let's just say you all sound bloody ridiculous when you bang on about me being 'anti-woman'.

GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter · 03/06/2015 19:33

Why can't you say what you do?

BertrandRussell · 03/06/2015 19:34

"And you don't even know what I do so maybe think about that before you start throwing nonsense accusations around about 'sitting on my ass arguing' which is exactly what you are doing at the moment too."

Maybe time to tell us?

bumbleymummy · 03/06/2015 19:34
Hmm
GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter · 03/06/2015 19:35

Why the Hmm face?

FeijoaSundae · 03/06/2015 19:37

We have nothing to go on, but your words on our screens, which are undoubtedly anti-women.

Enough with the Hmm faces.

lastuseraccount123 · 03/06/2015 19:40

fair call, bumbley. what is it you do?

winter, I can understand why you're upset. Hang in there.

bumbleymummy · 03/06/2015 19:41

Sure...of course they are. And you're all so pro-woman even though most of your 'pro-choice' sentiments stop and end with ' I support a woman's right to choose'.

lastuseraccount123 · 03/06/2015 19:44

so?

SabrinnaOfDystopia · 03/06/2015 19:44

Well, your sentiments don't even start with a woman's right to choose, bumbley.

Women are incubators to you.

lastuseraccount123 · 03/06/2015 19:44

seems a perfectly clear statement to me. what am I missing?