AIBU to go to work collegues leaving do

[booboo57]

When I have just been signed off with stress due to impending redundancy. Really close colleague but i can't go can I?
Be gentle with me first post ever.

I think it depends on who will be attending, and how your colleagues will be. We had a leaving do for a colleague a few months ago and two members of our department who were signed off with stress came. No-one batted an eyelid, as we all knew how awful it was at work (it was the reason the colleague was leaving!) and were just glad to see them. If it had been a big do, or some higher up people had been there, I imagine they wouldn't have come - but it was just our team, so it was fine! Totally depends on the culture of your workplace and who will be there - but don't immediately assume you can't go.

it might set back your stress though OP. when you actually see your work colleagues with tales of office politics, redundancies etc,

would you ever go back op as you are due redundancy anyway?

You are getting bad advice. If you're about to be made redundant you're going to need a reference. If you go and they think you're malingering it may very well reflect on the reference you're given. Your reference is more important than a night out.

Don't go, invite your colleague out for a goodbye lunch, just the two of you.

You don't want your previous work's last impression of you to be that you go out partying when you're supposed to be off sick. It could have a really negative effect on the rest of your career.

are you actually being made redundant? if so go - if you are still in a chance of keeping your job I wouldn't.

I wouldn't go. I'll look bad as if you are taking the piss. Say goodbye some other way. Hope you get well soon.

I wouldn't go. I'd arrange to see leaving person privately another time.

I wouldn't go. Think it will look really bad.

I wouldn't go. Rightly or wrongly, I have never worked anywhere where someone turning up to an office party/night out when they are off sick wouldn't lead to resentment. You might also find the experience quite stressful. How would you cope with colleagues quizzing you about how you're feeling, when do you think you'll be back etc.and generally scrutinising how you behave on this night out? Personally, I would rather skip the night out rather than go and feel I had to make a conscious effort to present myself as being unwell/miserable and not look like I was enjoying myself to much.

If you go to the leaving do, be prepared to have some of your colleagues judge you. Are you strong enough to cope with that?

There will be those that think, well if she's well enough to attend this function, she should be well enough to come to work. (especially if they're having to pick up the slack while you are off relaxing)

They won't look at the bigger picture.

Another I wouldn't ..

For reasons mentioned...You will need a reference if made redundant, a hard worker who isn't going off with stress but well enough to go out and have fun will be judged, extra work your colleagues will have due to your sickness.

I don't think you need to stay indoors while off sick but getting involved in anything to do with work is not helpful

worker who isn't going off with stress but well enough to go out and have fun will be judged, extra work your colleagues will have due to your sickness.

We have two people at work who are off sick a lot. The rest of us have to do their jobs. I'm having to do twice the work at the moment.
I would be a bit if I saw one of them at a work's do.

I know it's not their fault they suffer from stress. But if it's going to be a regular occurrence, why not free the job up completely - for someone who is able to do the job and attend the job most days?

You're off sick because of possible redundancy and now that you're not at work the stress has gone and you're ready to party. Why not just take the redundancy and not have to deal with your work anymore?

"I know it's not their fault they suffer from stress. But if it's going to be a regular occurrence, why not free the job up completely - for someone who is able to do the job and attend the job most days?"

I agree this will be at the back of my mind of a person who is picking up the slack for someone who is off sick. It is difficult for the managers and colleagues because that person is occupying a role that has to be kept open and cannot be reliably back filled due to the unpredictability of the condition which a GP has signed off on but we all know that GPs will largely go on what the OP says, especially in the case of stress (as opposed to an actual physical condition). Rightly or wrongly, there will already be doubt and resentment.

There is a significant risk that OP coming back just to party will fan the flames of resentment which are already simmering. I agree she will have to answer questions from her colleagues about her condition and they will talk about her answers when she is gone.

It will be pretty stressful, I think, from that perspective.

I remember a few years ago, I had a colleague who was off with stress for a couple of months and there was a lot of gossip/resentment about her being seen out and about so much. On FB there were photos of her on nights out and at parties, she would check in and various restaurants and bars and post statuses about going for "cocktails with the girls", days out etc. I really liked her and didn't want to judge, I wondered if she was maybe putting a brave face on or just trying to keep herself busy. Others were very vocal about her "taking the piss". There will always be those who feel that you should drag yourself into work and soldier on unless you are completely incapacitated. Having seen how controversial these things can be I would personally keep a low profile but I'm not saying that's right or fair.

If others are also under threat of redundancy and yet having to pick up your work they may not be entirely delighted to see you - it really depends on the bigger picture. If this is a stressful time for the office as a whole then it might be wiser to see your colleague separately.

York, I agree with "There will always be those who feel that you should drag yourself into work and soldier on unless you are completely incapacitated".

It is not necessarily because colleagues are so keen on driving others into the ground (I know that is not what you meant to say). It is because the implication is someone who is fit enough to party can surely turn up at work even if it is to work at a reduced pace. So long as they are off sick and not resigned, they are blocking the company from hiring someone else who can do the job that others have no choice but to cover.

Definitely do not go.

Don't go, for 2 reasons:

1. it might actually set your health back being in a situation with all your managers and colleagues, all talking about work
2. it will look very, very bad. Maybe that's unfair but it's the way it is.

If you're that close to that person, you can take her out for coffee yourself.

The rest of us have to do their jobs. I'm having to do twice the work at the moment.
I would be a bit hmm if I saw one of them at a work's do.

yy to this.

I would be if someone was off sick and came to a work's do.

I wouldn't go. At best you'll get slagged off into high heavens, at worst they will want to reassess your sick leave.

I was once signed off work for 8 weeks with a broken leg. I went to a colleagues leaving do in that time. The reason for being off work didn't impact on my ability to drink a glass of wine in a pub with my friends - it should be the same for those signed off with 'invisible' illnesses.

People saying it 'looks bad' - it doesn't matter how it looks to you or to the OPs bosses/colleagues. It's the doctor that has signed her off...you know, the one with the medical training.