to feel sorry for kids who are always playing out

[vodkanchocolate]

Probilly sounding very judgmental here. On our bit of street we have 2 families who never seem to do anything with their kids they are just playing out constantly I often wonder when they manage to go in for tea/dinner let alone baths, homework etc.

So yesterday dinner was time for us to go out go find my eldest dd who said why cant she play out with the others explained we are going to see an elderly relative whos about celebrate her 80th then we can call to the near by park this girl was listneing in and said thats laim fair enough not the most entertaining day for a 9 year old but the younger ones enjoyed themselves. Got back tea time and the bunch of same kids were still all i the street aged ranges from 4-12 and apparently one of the kids have said to my 2 eldest that Im stuck up and trying to stop them playing with the other kids. Why the hell would an 8 year old come out with that comment.

My kids do play out particully my 9 year old and never stopped her playing with anyone theres the odd incident where ill say think you best come away for a bit to avoid something.

Its same after school eve on a school night during summer months out until 9pm some nights wonder where the hell they find time to do stuff.

Sorry on phone today typing not very good.

I did nothing BUT play out as a child . On the street (quiet suburban area with mainly car-parking spaces, some fields, a rec, quiet high street with a sweet shop) ...

I don't see what the problem is.

A phobia is an irrational fear of something. Fear of abuse, bullying and traffic from extended periods of unsupervised play is perfectly rational.

I suppose we're lucky where we live. A new build estate with lots of green areas and an all purpose play area at the entrance. There's only 1 road in or out so traffic is slow.

Kids ranging in age from 7 to 17 arrange football matches, there's always groups riding bikes or scooters, little ones making Daisy chains while watching the others play football. It's great that the kids can be out at any time in the day and know that there's another group of kids to tag along with.

None of us are 'chaotic' families and the kids would laugh heartily if you told them you felt sorry for them.

Yes. I feel your have an irrational fear.

Seriously? Sounds like my childhood and I would give anything for my kids to have the same.

YABU, would you rather they were in front of an xbox all day?

When I look back on my childhood, what I appreciate most were the long hours of freedom. I played outside with my siblings and friends for ages, especially in the long days of summer, without adult supervision (though of course there were always adults at home). It wasn't a golden age of perfect accord. But it was a wonderful part of childhood.

We did have rules about how far we could go and when we had to return home. In fact, my parents were considered rather over-protective at the time. Now they would be accused of shocking neglect. Certainly my parents never took us to the park or anything like that when we were old enough to play out. If we wanted to go to the park we went on our own (with parental permission).

I believe strongly that children need time for imaginative play with friends, and that constant supervision and scheduling of activities will do them no favours in the long run.

the problem that I found was the disapproval from other parents.
When my son was 9 or 10 I had no problem with sending him to the shop or letting him venture beyond the gate a way. However, this was evidently discussed by the v judgemental mums in the school playground....
ahhh happy days....

......'good' parenting these days seems to rushing them from one activity to the next, strapped in the back of a car like a crash test dummy. And never leaving them alone, ever.

"seems to be

Take no notice Sunny

I've had gossip about me as well. Small minds. Even where we have five acres

yes some mums will always find another parent to gossip about!!

My children play out constantly. I sometimes give them a "picnic" and pack them off.
I will add it to my parenting failures.

Fear of abuse, bullying and traffic from extended periods of unsupervised play is perfectly rational

Five, the link i posted earlier would suggest you have as much to fear from not allowing extended unsupervised play

Good grief, what a judgemental lot you are! kids love playing out and most of our friends are extremely jealous of the fact there is a safe environment for kids to play out.YABVU what about parents who can't afford days out all the time, or like me have mobility issues so even a trip to the park can be difficult? Is my home chaotic or am I rough former babe???? No I am a mum who sees the value in kids creating their own games, learning to socialise with other kids and the benefit of physical activity. Bet your family are a bunch of lard arses or is that me generalising?

good' parenting these days seems to rushing them from one activity to the next, strapped in the back of a car like a crash test dummy. And never leaving them alone, ever

Aint that the truth..

Right well firstly i do understand ea h and everyone of your opinions and i fully respect that we have different parenting techniques.

I just want to stress again that im not against playing out in the street and im not saying i expect kids to be doing something different everyday of holidays. I do because its what we enjoy we have a few nice local parks and lota of countyside and woodland etc its good to make most of it. Id rather be out with them than having them running i and out all the time saying theyve had this and that stolen or someones hurt them.

Again they do play out in street dd more than others shes out now and no im not watching her. I just think its nice for them to visit places. My 9 year old and 4 year old son are very independant. My other 2 are sn so no i dont feel comfortable letting them out for long periods of time on their own.

Last summer we had days in blackpool dd bought her friends a stick of rock each and the girl i wrote about was amazed... thats why i feel sorry for them.

So earlier i came home with shopping this girl and her sister are pushing there only just 2 year old brotHer in his buggy all over road they were took the older daughter whos about 13 to come get him back in.

Wont have chance to reply again today, as got to pick the younger ones up will reply when i can

Fear of abuse, bullying and traffic from extended periods of unsupervised play is perfectly rational

Concern is rational, awareness is rational, and discussing safety with children is rational.
Reacting to your 'fear' by not allowing children some freedom is NOT rational.

I grew up playing out every day and evening. We saw our DGPs on a Sunday.
Homework was always done and we washed regularly. We all had a paper round as we each got old enough.
In from school, change & play out.
Home for dinner when told. Eat. Play out.
Our rule (seeing as we didn't have mobiles) was come in when street lights come on. Summer was more tricky, but someone normally had a watch. 9pm would be latest.
We have all grown up to be fully functional and fairly educated adults, each with our own families - as did all our friends we grew up with on the estate.

'good' parenting these days seems to rushing them from one activity to the next, strapped in the back of a car like a crash test dummy. And never leaving them alone, ever

Also watching them like a hawk for every single second of their playtime to make sure they know you love them and have nothing else in your life

Yabu. I yhink I played out everyday from age 7-15. It was awesome :)
My parents would drag my to national trust houses by day and I would be desperate to get back out to the dens and parks and abandoned stately homes.
Luckily I grew up in a sleepy everyone-knows-your-mum town so I was priveliged in that way.

Good God laurie I think my DC would be more psychologically damaged from being hit by a car, or approached by a stranger (before anyone jumps at me; it's happened to 4 primary school children in my naice area of Surrey in the last 3 months; money doesn't buy you safety) so they will continue to play in our garden with the neighbour's DC, or I will accompany them all to the park in turns with the same neighbours.

I'll take the risk and save for counselling for the childhood clearly lacking

Strapped i the car like crash test dummies? We walk, we go on scooters, public transport. I dont always have access to the car so im not one of those parents. It doesnt cost anything to go to the park. Im aware older children like playing out but what about the 4,5,6 year olds who arent doing anything this holiday but play out? Think its so sad that theres aome children whos never even been the seaside and not referring to the kids on the street.

There is no harm in routine and as a family unit we have to stick to it for the sake of my 2 children with sn. Yes i do feel aorry for eldest dd as shes getting older but shes generally understanding

The xbox keeps getting brought up? Where have i said i dont let them play out so can go on xbox or something similar. People having a go at me for judging but the amount of people who have judged me on this post. Its all swings and roundabouts. Bit like the way theneighbours think im a snob because we go out a lot i dont for one minute think she came up with that herself

And what's wrong with a garden, I mean to say you pay enough for it!

When I was a child there were a number of doors I could have banged on for help. And there were less cars about. People just don't look nowadays.

All is fine until someone gets injured, or worse.

Sneer all you like. I actually don't care.

If you have a park really near to your house, and they're either being chaperoned or they're old enough to take a mobile phone with them then brilliant. But you've got to take appropriate safety measures like that.

Wow. Some people are really bloody weird, thats all I can say. Children playing outside now means they are from shameless style homes and their parents must be terrible. I've heard it all now!