To ask if you equate your partner masturbating to cheating?

[Allisgood1]

Just that really.
I had a friend who caught her dh masturbating to a porn. They went for counseling.
Another friend found out hers masturbated to Game of Thrones. She banned him from watching it and told him he's effectively cheating on her and this is grounds for divorce ??
Am I missing something????

I've read threads where posters say it's a house rule that all male members of the household sit down to pee (!) so I'm not overly shocked by this nuttiness.

What about if they prefer to wank rather than have actual sex with their willing and able partner? That surely constitutes a problem?

Horrible or illegal porn would be an issue or porn addiction.

Anything else no.

Sweet Jesus some people must have very little going on in their lives.

What makes it worse is that friend 1 has just had a high needs baby and was co sleeping. Friend 2 is heavily pregnant. I'm hoping these two factors are contributing to their unreasonableness.

Porn is a deal breaker here so it would end my marriage in all likelihood. This goes for both of us, dh is just as much against it.

Masturbating in general? no. I would probably watch and enjoy it.

Do your friends never masturbate?

Do they never fantasise about anyone else?

But if they are addicted to porn to the point of foregoing sex within the relationship, then it would be a problem.

It could be an excuse, though, and they could have had much more serious problems that they aren't mentioning to you.

Piddle no it's not, some people have a healthy sex life and shock horror masturbate, it's normal!

What if healthy able partner is asleep or just not feeling in the mood right now. Totally normal.

No Aero, you misunderstand me. If the sex life is non existent yet they are happy to masturbate.

Ohh sounds like us, since having dcs one Autistic, the other a very boisterous and tiring, I have vaginitis which makes penetration painful, so don't care much for it. by the end of the day I am sozzled and asleep early. I have no problem with dh wanking occassionally. Totally fine.

In that case, the non existent sex life is a problem, yes, and could be put down to masturbation.

I can't believe how controlling some women are. If you get 'cool wife' labels for not objecting to your partner masturbating?!

So our sex life is in a bit of a hiatus, which does not bother me, as we are open, intimate in other ways.

DH says it does not bother him, he us tired with the kids and work too. We are still intimate but not with penetration.

Cheating on your partner, with yourself?

divorces rates will be on the increase then, op your mates are bvu. i must admit i am wondering if you are one of them though...

If I assume that my DH sometimes masturbates, but I'm not that bothered when and where he does it (in private without nasty porn, basically), does that make me a cool wife? Or just 'not that bothered'?

If when I do it, I certainly don't expect to have an appointment for a marriage counsellor slapped down in front of me. Ridiculous.

I know crystle it's absurd. Pee how you want to, but don't make a mess. If you make a mess, clean it up!

I very very sincerely hope masturbation is not considered cheating.

Oh lord no! But depends on what it was in GoT. If it was one of the dragons I'd be concerned...

some people have very strange ideas as to deal breaking and cheating .

Didn't someone on here mention they caught their DH wanking over Paul Hollywood kneading dough?

Now that REALLY would be grounds for divorce

I really don't get this idea that if you're close by they should come to you, if my Dh wakes in the night with a hard on I'd much rather he sorted himself out than woke me up to do it for him fgs.

I'm sure I read that a certain amount of masturbation is good for your sex life with your partner as you get to know yourself.

As a general rule: no, not cheating (webcams different as there is interaction). If doing it in the presence of anyone other than one's partner, different story. If a partner is losing out because the other one is servicing themselves instead of sharing that can be a problem. Porn: depends, erotica or nasty stuff? Don't watch GoT so can't comment.

There, I think that covers everything

Deary me they are being unreasonable.