AIBU to lock the bedroom door and sleep in a comfy bed sigh :)

[whatisforteamum]

My DH has been golfing all day while I did chores the worked 10 hrs in a hot busy kitchen.My boss told me to go at 830 which is great as usually I get home 1130 exhausted.Dh would be home by then and we could have a drink in the garden as im working all bank hols.Turns out he went into town with the lads sounded drunk on the phone.Nothing wrong with this but having trapped a nerve in his back and been in a foul mood for weeks I am amazed he has walked about all day!!
Also being too tired to go anywhere with me and letting me sleep downstairs for 12 yrs (bad snoring) and makes smug faces with his hands behind his head when I point out I would like to sleep in a bed and he could at least take turns when im ill or now I am pretty much fulltime .

I wanted this sorted before Df passes away as he is terminally ill and don't see why I should sleep downstairs without a bed while I would be grieving

.So here I am cosy and bathed being the superior one.Of course with his bad back he will suffer but maybe just maybe he will know how I feel curled up on my makeshift bed.I have locked the door and look forward to a comfy sleep before work again night night xx[grin

I hope you have a peaceful night. You need to LTB, in fact, fuck that, make him leave.

:)

well he came home 130 am so drunk someone walked him home what a tw^t .

Seriously he is not worth being with! My df has end stage alzheimers and prostate cancer. My very soon husband to be has terminal cancer and would never let me sleep anywhere than in our bed!

aww i am so sorry Ludoole....i can sleep in the bed but cant because of his snoring.My DF rang at 2 am his bone pain in his hips so bad he cant move and wants to go to hospital today :( he has small cell prostate cancer an aggressive form and has had chemo twice.
DH was walked home paraletic woke dd up and ds and me this is 1st time in many years but very inconsiderate knowing i am really busy working !! TBH i have text my boss to say i wont be in as i havent slept and need to get df sorted.I have only missed one eve work all year so on this occassion family comes 1st.

this made me sad, you have many more years of life left and could be with someone who loves and respects you you deserve a big hug too. Good luck with DF today

You need DH to sort his shit out, sorry to hear you have so much going on and sending hugs. But suggest getting rid or giving DH am ultimatum will actually lift a weight xx

I'm really sorry to hear your story.

I can understand you not wanting to upset things while you are dealing with your parents illness, but something really needs to change.

Is there space in either of the kids bedroom for another single? And you can sleep in there nights where your husband is keeping you awake?

Or could the kids share the biggest bedroom, with some sort of divider in the middle, and you each have one of the kids rooms?

He NEEDS to do something to change these things. You need a decent bed to get a decent nights sleep to help you deal with all the things going on in your life.

thanks for the support i appreciate it.I guess things havent been good for many yrs and we have juggled our jobs and provided the dcs with security and got the mortgage paid off.People where i work moan about how hard our job is and some have quit as the boss expects alot.However my job gives me something to look forward to!A reason go on and get dressed nicely (i have a uniform when im there),Sometimes i think i expect too much but DH is only just sorting out his hearing as we cant watch tv in the lounge after yrs.I am so used to this life on my own i cannot imagine someone being supportive or affectionate.Most of dhs problems are weight related heart attack bad snoring bad back and he refuses to lose weight eventhough his own mum died when he was 16 and history could repeat itself with our dcs :(

you don't expect too much

you expect too little

you have 1 life, and this is it.

Also being too tired to go anywhere with me and letting me sleep downstairs for 12 yrs
He doesn't let you sleep on the sofa, he makes you sleep on the sofa.
He needs to sort out his health. If he has had a heart attack and has a weight problem what is he doing drinking to excess all the time?
His weight is most likely a factor in his snoring.

Df was checked out in hospital for his bad bone pain and vomiting from his advanced cancer.i worked 3/11 got home tired from no sleeep and teens inform me he slept all day so no roast went on for them,Thanks for the support dick head,He said i was moaning at 230 is he surprised when he kept us al awake and worried about df.He says he wont do it next month at golf but his selfish ways im not holding my breath :(

(((((((((((((((((((((((((Mega HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))) OP

Good for you. Enjoy your sleep.

Sorry OP but you saying that you kept the peace for the children really translates as them seeing their father treating their mother like shot for yrs and their mother just quietly putting up with It. Do you really think that's a healthy relationship model for them to witness? And part from that don't you think you're worth more?

He's no longer the man you married. The sooner you accept that the sooner you can get on with your life and work towards being happy.

Like shit I meant to say obs!

Having had a think im looking to rent a room and get a bed and self respect.Df had the gp outagain bank hols mon and now seems to be responding to new antibiotics.I agree the man i married seems long gone whether his health issues have caused this i dont know and im not sure i care.So much has happened with DM and DF being so very ill i cant cope with his anger outbursts or disrespect anymore.Thanks for the replies :)

Tell him to leave.

i cant afford all the bills as im part time but working fulltime to cover for 6 months we have no mortgage though.I think i need headspace as dd can do chores as she is almost 18 and awaiting college interviewLived here 26 yrs havent rented for 30yrs now !