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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to lock the bedroom door and sleep in a comfy bed sigh :)

45 replies

whatisforteamum · 23/05/2015 22:22

My DH has been golfing all day while I did chores the worked 10 hrs in a hot busy kitchen.My boss told me to go at 830 which is great as usually I get home 1130 exhausted.Dh would be home by then and we could have a drink in the garden as im working all bank hols.Turns out he went into town with the lads sounded drunk on the phone.Nothing wrong with this but having trapped a nerve in his back and been in a foul mood for weeks I am amazed he has walked about all day!!
Also being too tired to go anywhere with me and letting me sleep downstairs for 12 yrs (bad snoring) and makes smug faces with his hands behind his head when I point out I would like to sleep in a bed and he could at least take turns when im ill or now I am pretty much fulltime .

I wanted this sorted before Df passes away as he is terminally ill and don't see why I should sleep downstairs without a bed while I would be grieving

.So here I am cosy and bathed being the superior one.Of course with his bad back he will suffer but maybe just maybe he will know how I feel curled up on my makeshift bed.I have locked the door and look forward to a comfy sleep before work again night night xx[grin

OP posts:
Icimoi · 23/05/2015 22:25

Yanbu. I hope you've got earplugs in in case he starts beating on the door expecting to be allowed in.

Rudawakening · 23/05/2015 22:26

Please tell me 12yrs is a typo!!

gamerchick · 23/05/2015 22:26

12 years? Why on earth haven't you bought a sofa bed or something? You should be taking turns if you haven't a spare room man.

Enjoy your kip.

SpringBreaker · 23/05/2015 22:26

why are you still with him?

FannyFifer · 23/05/2015 22:27

Where the hell have you been sleeping for 12 years?

PotteringAlong · 23/05/2015 22:30

Surely after 12 years you'd just have seperate bedrooms?!

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 23/05/2015 22:33

LTB seems the only suitable response.

TheBookofRuth · 23/05/2015 22:34

There's something seriously wrong in your relationship if he's let you sleep on the sofa for 12 years.

Fluffcake · 23/05/2015 22:37

12 years on the sofa???? I can barely do 1 night. Invest in decent sofa bed if you haven't already, take turns on using it and see gp about snoring (not sure who is snoring).

Doilooklikeatourist · 23/05/2015 22:37

Don't understand
Why can't you sleep in a bed every night

Fluffcake · 23/05/2015 22:38

And barricade yourself in bedroom! Wink

ememem84 · 23/05/2015 22:39

Agree. Surely separate rooms?

lordsandladies · 23/05/2015 22:40

Are you serious?? Don't lock the bedroom barricade the front door with divorce papers nailed to it!

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 23/05/2015 22:40

YUP ear pugs in his pillows on the landing with his dressing gown .we don't have spare room as dcs have other 2,we did talk about taking turns but all the flimsy sofa beds I looked at wont take his weight.when he had heartattack I took pity on him same as when he worked 55 hrs a week but its Never my turn except tonight.I did think about renting a room but some have age restrictions and I am 48 well past 35 !He says I can sleep next to him but will not use snore sprays and strips he has.

OP posts:
ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 23/05/2015 22:42

Does he gave any redeeming features?

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 23/05/2015 22:46

he said he would be home early and as as sober as a judge with all the lads giggling he is 55 ffs shame he has no energy or time or respect for the person he ha lied with for 28 yrs.I have savings but not enough to ltb and his angry now selfish ways....not sure the man I knew is coming back.

OP posts:
BabyGanoush · 23/05/2015 22:53

Sorry but this all sounds so sad and awful.

Hope you find strength to deal with this selfish fucker soon.

Getting to sleep in you bed this once is no victory at all, is it?

You'll have an angry drunk home soon too Sad

Hope he stays out all night and you have a nice night's sleep

LumpySpacedPrincess · 23/05/2015 22:53

Why are you with him?

Charlotte3333 · 23/05/2015 22:57

God alive how have you restrained yourself from putting a pillow over his face before now?

DH snores terribly. Our rule is that if he wakes me up, I kick him (gently -ish- ) and try to go back to sleep. If I can't I wake him up and he goes and kips in the spare bedroom. He's the one doing the snoring, he should be the one buggering off elsewhere. Kick him out of there permanently and enjoy some proper sleep.

SaltyandSweet · 23/05/2015 22:58

This sounds so sad. You deserve better than this. How long is long enough to suffer this sort of life?

Rudawakening · 23/05/2015 22:59

Jesus after 12 yrs I'd of divorced him. Utterly selfish of him to make you sleep on the sofa all the time.

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 23/05/2015 23:02

he was kind now he is an overweight bully with heart meds and ED.he doesn't even earn much ad makes a big deal if I ask him to bother shaving t get shopping or do the school run I cant talk if emmerdale is on or I get short shrift.The golf is one a month tbhI must sort this out before Df dies which wil be sooner than later :(

OP posts:
PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 23/05/2015 23:03

What a selfish twat.

And at a serious health level, if his snoring is that bad there is probably a medical reason.

12 years on a sofa? ! Sometimes mn leaves me speechless.

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 23/05/2015 23:04

Cross post.Sad what are you getting out of this relationship?

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 23/05/2015 23:18

stability while both my dm and df have battled incurable cancer for 7 yrs but o real life as such just another sulky teenager except he teens are more polite.He doesn't do mothers day or make an effort at xmas and he cant discuss many things I don't even get mid day calls or hugs just disrespected in front of our dcs im sure someone somewhere would love an organised wife who loves cooking and works hard ha ha and adores her dcs.I havekept the peace for the dcs who are 16 and almost 18 now :)

OP posts: