Fallen out with MIL over manners

[WoeIsMee]

I'm really annoyed. I've NC for this.

My MIL had my children today and they've come back saying 'what' instead of 'pardon.' This is because mil told them that 'what' is correct which is clearly wrong - it's 'pardon.'

I'm really annoyed as correct manners are so important, also it's undermined me.

WIBU to ring her and tell her she's wrong and ask her to tell the children that she was wrong?

That's what I thought, Sanity - I was just sanity checking.

I was raised "don't say what, say pardon" but what is definitely right! I prefer "excuse me" or "I'm sorry" in quizzical tone sometimes as politer, but that is possibly an Americanism.
Pardon is dreadful.
I thought "loo" came from "gardez l'eau" (which they pronounced gardey-loo) when they used to throw the contents of the chamber pot out of the window in the Middle Ages.

Yes, my MIL just decided to start using the word supper.

It makes me cringe.

Bloody hell, are people really this judgemental. its pathetic and snobby

I say pardon, what, sorry, say again and probably some other things too. I'm sure I must be offending people left right and centre.

I cringe at anyone that cringes at someone saying something as innocuous as 'supper'

I've googled.

Looks like I'm posher than I thought.

--------------

Here is the answer as written by Kate Fox in her exquisite book "Watching the English" published by Hodder 2004.

What do you call the evening meal?

And what time do you eat it?

If you call it "tea", and eat it at around half past six, you are almost certainly working class or of working class origin. (If you have a tendency to personalize the meal, calling it "my tea", "our/us tea" and "your tea" - as in "I must be going home for my tea", "what's for us tea, love?" or "Come back to mine for your tea" - you are probably northern working class.)
If you call the evening meal "dinner", and eat it at around seven o'clock, you are probably lower-middle or middle-middle class.
If you normally only use the term "dinner" for rather more formal evening meals, and call your informal, family evening meal "supper" (pronounced "suppah"), you are probably upper-middle or upper class. The timing of these meals tends to be more flexible, but a family "supper" is generally eaten at around half past seven, while a "dinner" would usually be later, from half past eight onwards.

I've recently read Lucy Worsley's book about the history of the home. She mentions that 'loo' is often said to come from the 'Gardez l'eau' explanation, but she thinks it's more likely to come from 'lieu', as in the place of easement, as she puts it.

On the subject of 'supper', I find its Nigella-inspired usage (as a sit-down meal with friends or family) a bit poncey-sounding to my northern ears- I'd only just accustomed myself to calling the evening meal 'dinner' , but that seems to have fallen out of favour with the TV lifestyle gurus. To me, 'supper' is a snack before bedtime eaten mostly by children, like milk and a biscuit.

Pardon is incorrect, it is extremely common. I would be furious if anyone told my children to say pardon. I beg your pardon, yes. Failing that, what? Is fine. I expect you think it posh to say serviette lol

In the PB house we have supper every night, our main meal of the day and eat at around 5.30. In the middle of the day we have lunch, usually a snack. We only have dinner if it's later (8.30) and with other people (not just family).

DM was Hyacinth Bucket rather fancied herself despite coming from a very ordinary background and insisted on Pardon, but I don't say pardon, I say 'what' and so does DH and DCs. DM also insisted on 'lavatory' which I think is a horrible word and I say 'loo', a nice short word that's over and done with the moment you start saying it. My DB still says 'lavatory' and it makes me cringe. DD was from much smarter background than DM and he always said 'what' or 'eh?'.

To me Pardon seems rather falsely snobbish.

And it's Napkins and Sofas and Sitting Rooms over here too!

I believe that the general rule is that no words of French origin should be used ie. Pardon, serviette, lounge, perfume etc. it ought to be what, napkin, sitting room & scent.

I think we need to reach a rapprochement between the two sides in that case.

Or a detente maybe.

www.vocabulary.com/articles/wordroutes/royally-speaking/ T'Queen wouldn't say Pardon

LOL at rapprochement and detente. VG.

YABVU. "Pardon" is just awful. However, "What did you say?" or "Sorry?" are better than just "What?"

WoeIsMee

This is a joke, right? What? Paddon?

No no no Kate fox is wrong! You would be "gooing hom fa me t" Not going home for my tea.
You can take the girl out of Yorkshire but you can't take the Yorkshire out of the girl!
We have nampkins here as my youngest could never say napkins when she was small!
We also have lay lay birds (ladybirds) and hairy pigs (earwigs) not inside the house thank goodness!
Oh and 2 Kazis.
What did you say never pardon
Lunch and dinner happens most days but I haven't had supper since I was about 10 when it definitely consisted of milk and biscuits. I quite want one now!
Tea is sandwiches and cake about 3pm when you haven't had lunch and dinner won't be until about 8
I really couldn't care what other people call it.
Live and let live I say is it really that important?
The Tories want to scrap the human rights act come on people pardon may be a forbidden word before you know it! Lib dems are fighting it tooth and nail but are a bit short of seats in parliament. Sign the petition please

GrrrrrBear "I cringe at anyone that cringes at someone saying something as innocuous as 'supper'"

To clarify, when I said I cringe at the word "supper" I was going off-topic really, because my dislike of the word is totally irrational and has nothing whatsoever to do with whether it is "right" or "wrong". I simply don't like the word itself because of the way it sounds and it is no more logical or explicable than a phobia of buttons.

Pardon is fine if you've just farted.

The aspiring middle classes, won't they ever learn their place?

What?

I am with BitOfFun on the matter of supper.

surely "pardon" is the royal "pardon"

It's t'other way round. You're saying "I beg your pardon (but I need you to say that again)" It's very polite, but not posh.

Me, I say what, sorry, sorrywhat, huh, pardon, podden, sayagain, whatwasthat ... and have no idea which one I use when! If you care, tough.

Of course the Queen wouldn't say "Pardon" - it would be like she was granting a royal pardon to whomever she was addressing.

This sort of thread really does mark out the middle classness of many MNers and makes me understand why so many people are put off the place. So fucking rude, some of you.

Gruntfuttock - I see your "supper" and raise you "sups".