To make an official accusation of bullying?

[Jonesing4Jones]

I'm in my final year of a degree program. I like to get really involved in lectures as it helps me learn so I sit by myself at the front and often answer questions and make comments etc, basically just generally engage with the lecturers. I have often heard low level sniggering but I ignore it.
This morning we had a group session and the tutorer said that we could either go home early or stay and discuss our topics and asked for a show of hands. I raised my hand to stay and assumed I wouldn't be the only one but I was. The lecturer then said that as someone had expressed a wish to carry on with the session they had to make everyone stay. I was mortified and said I'd changed my mind and people shouldn't be made to stay for me but they wouldn't go back on it. So a mutter of "for fucks sake" etc was echoing around the room and I felt awful. Anyway as the session progressed I answered questions and stayed involved like I normally do and at the end I told one of my experiences (the tutor had asked for one). What I hadn't realised is that she had said "if nobody has anymore to say we can pack up". I genuinely didn't get that bit and waffled on with my story :( Anyway afterwards I was walking behind a group of women and they were being incredibly nasty saying "she does my fucking head in" and "she obviously has had a shag in a while and wants to shag the lecturer" etc etc. When they realised I was there they all ran off laughing. I've since realised that a number of underhand 'sly' discussions on facebook referring to a person named "Lisa" is actually on about me.

We have 12 weeks to go. Do I say something or just stick the rest of it out? I'm in my 40s, the majority of these women/girls are in their early 20s.

Toads why assume it's just the lecturer who has funding to sort out or kids to see to?

I left my course because I was a Lisa (but not an anecdotal one!)

The course I was on was seen as a 'soft' option by the young uns who just wanted the uni experience. Three quarters didn't turn up to lectures and the following class based sessions were torturous.

It was like tumbleweed everytime the lecturer tried to get a discussion going. Literally silence. Then the lecturer would call on me or look at me and I would answer. Followed by rolling eyes and sniggers from the back rows.

Half the time we couldn't do the group activities because half the group hadn't done the reading or been at a lecture for weeks. Then they would put me forward as the spokesperson because I had done it. It was such a disappointment. I'd been so excited about going to uni and In the end just felt bullied and awkward.

I left before my first year exams, at that point I had firsts for all my assignments.

Fuck them OP, don't make the same mistake I did!

Toads why assume it's just the lecturer who has funding to sort out or kids to see to?

Um, I'm not.

It wasn't the OP's intention to have everyone stay behind. She even said herself that once she realised she was the only one that she'd rather just not bother than have everyone stay behind.

The lecturer could have easily just let everyone go but nope, they wouldn't be on. It's unfair to blame the OP for a decision the lecturer made.

Why is everyone being so mean to the OP? Feeling like you're being bullied is awful, people sniggering behind your back, and the facebook behaviour is vile. Unfortunately it's their age, I hope you can stick it out as you must have worked so hard already. Maybe theres a mature students group you could join through the students union, so you can have a pint and a moan about the silly young ones with like minded people?

You obviously have grounds for a complaint. The shag comment alone is grounds for a complaint.

So it's really up to you to think about what outcome you want, and what course of action to take.

You could do nothing at all, talk to your personal tutor formally or informally, talk to the lecturer, talk to the other students, get advice from someone in student services.

I would take screen shots of what was being said, and keep a note of what happened today, so that you have a record in case this happens again and you decide you want to do something about it at a later point.

I'm sorry that you're having an unpleasant time.

I've been that lecturer desperately trying to get through the material in the short time I have to deliver the course and have had various "Lisas" interrupt, question, challenge, relay their own totally irrelevant anecdotes and the keep me behind for ages afterwards still questionning, challenging etc, often at the detriment of other students.

As a lecturer it is annoying and pointless.

I would much prefer lectures to consist of me, lecturing - with the odd question for clarity. Anything else, save it for the tutorial or seminar, or come and see me in my room.

OP, UCL's policy on harassment and bullying is here:

www.ucl.ac.uk/academic-manual/part-5/harassment-bullying

All universities will have similar policies because they (and their students) have to abide by the equality act.

No, I grit my teeth and resist the urge to tell them to bugger off!!!

None of us can know without being there whether the OP contributes too much or if she feels like she's contributing a lot because the other students are failing to engage. We can't know the lecturing style either. Some lecturers want there to be a lot of student discussion within the lecture.

The point is that even if the OP is the most overly talkative student ever, it is not okay for other students to respond in the way they have done.

I think that it's a horrible thing to go through and can understand why it's upsetting. But I also think you can't really put overhearing things someone didn't intend you to hear in the category of bullying. I certainly don't think it's worth putting in a bullying complaint so close to the end of the course. I think the university may well view that as wasting their time, particularly as what the OP heard wasn't addressed to her.

I might think it was worth complaining about the lecturer. I think they were very unprofessional. I suspect they're getting pissed off with the interruptions too and did this as a form of getting back at 'Lisa', keeping the class back. But it was inappropriate. However if it's anything like my University academics are practically untouchable and can do what they like, plus student experience is very much secondary to their all important research as far as the department is concerned.

I do think the OP probably needs to learn some more study skills to do with listening and contributing. Contributions need to be made at an appropriate time, they need to be kept concise. Allowing others to contribute, listening to them and making sure your own contributions are kept to an appropriate length is important. The quality of contributions from students is just as important as the quantity. Somebody droning on and on in lectures, interrupting, asking irrelevant or simple questions is just like handing in a 20,000 essay instead of a 2,000 word one, just you're not marked on it.

The university wouldn't view it as a waste of time. Most of it doesn't even involve the time of academic staff, as the sexual comment and running away from you laughing happened outside of the lecture, and you have evidence from social media.

It is a pretty straightforward case and would most likely be dealt with by pastoral staff who are responsible for dealing with harassment cases.

It is a disciplinary matter for the other student. It shouldn't have any impact on how staff treat you or on future references. It is really a question of whether or not you want to put yourself through the stress of a formal complaint.

But there should be someone at student services you can talk to informally, which you might find makes you feel better.

No, I grit my teeth and resist the urge to tell them to bugger off!!

Why don't you make it clear at the beginning of the lecture that there are to be no interruptions or questions asked whilst you deliver the lecture. And that if anyone does have a question that they should ask during the break, after the lecture or to contact you?

This isn't bullying, unless you know for sure that you are the Lisa on Facebook. Bullying has to have a pattern of repeated unpleasant behaviour. Sounds like the lecturer handled things pretty badly, and sounds a little as if you perhaps weren't picking up on what was going on. I wouldn't complain. If you're still upset I'd go to the lecturer's visiting hour and have a word.

They ran away laughing? Grown women? How very primary school of them.

I think the university would definitely view it as a waste of time, and not just the stuff regarding the staff but also the students.

The OP is almost at the end of her course. They'll probably be obliged to investigate it, but by the time all the forms are filled in, they've investigated, a report has been typed up and all the admin has been done the OP will have left. I think they would definitely view that as a waste of time and resources. Particularly as what's happened seems relatively minor; overhearing something you weren't meant to isn't bullying because the intent wasn't there. So basically what's left is a few facebook posts which I think the University would have difficulty proving were about the OP. Personally in this situation I would just suck it up, I don't think reporting would achieve anything and could potentially make the situation worse for the OP.

I agree with you aermingers. It's a really unpleasant thing to have happened, but I think it would be made worse by a complaint. Apart from anything else they'll all deny it - it would be very difficult to prove. They sound like minxes though.

I'd say hang in there OP. Chalk this down. Focus on your final months. Maybe ease off a bit on the participation, and see how that goes? It is possibly irritating to others, albeit that it works for you. Everyone has different learning styles.

I think the lecturer should have made the decision, i.e. stated everyone could leave, rather than putting it to a supposed vote, and embarrassing you in the process. Personally, I don't think a complaint is the way to go.
All the best, and every success in your exams .

Aermingers, I think it depends on the individual university and department, and different people will have different experiences of how these things are handled and the impression students create.

Some courses are primarily aimed at educating students will have little contact with the department after they graduate. My department tends to teach a high number of students who will go into work that overlaps with the department's research and is small enough that the staff 'know' the students, and where the reputation gained as a student sticks. The staff don't care much if a student asks a lot of questions, but a student who sniggers at another student in lectures, was malicious on social media, that kind of reputation sticks. So the OP doesn't even need to have reported it for the staff to be aware of some of it and for it to poorly reflect on those students.

I'm not in a department educating people for caring professions. But if the OP was in one of those, I think unkindness would matter very much in the staff's impression of those students, and potentially be reflected in tone in references.

The OP can really only judge based on her experiences of her institution, but I think any informal talk with someone, potentially someone outside of the department who deals with students' issues, could at least make the OP feel listened to without her being under any pressure to take it further. A lot of the time people just want to be listened to when they are upset by something.

Just stop being selfish!! It really is that simple. People are there to learn from the lecturer, nobody wants to see your squashed face tennis balling from PowerPoint to lecturer

All the "do what makes you happy" talk is all well and good but the reality is that uni students want to go out, get drunk and get laid.

Engaging so much with a lecturer would have done my head in at uni, sorry. By asking lots of questions, you may be learning in your own style but it slows things down for everyone else.

At the end of the day, uni is not hard provided you learn the right stuff at the right time.

You need to get on with people, particularly as a mature student IMO. If you want to talk one on one to the lecturer, drop in to their office out of the lesson time.