Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is posting a two minute interview of your 2and 1/2 year old daughter sitting on the toilet going too far ?

105 replies

Hope2003 · 19/05/2015 18:13

I've been watching a family on YouTube but I've become increasingly uncomfortable with what they do :( Am I wrong in thinking it's voyeuristic to the extreme especially this video ?
I mean the toilet seriously [confusedm.youtube.com/#/watch?v=d00MegenWHc

OP posts:
AgentProvocateur · 19/05/2015 18:25

So concerned that you're spreading it further? Hmm If you don't want to watch, turn it off. I think it's voyeuristic to watch another family on YouTube full stop. Do you not have a life of your own?

Original poster
Hope2003 · 19/05/2015 18:52

You're not helping at all .I asked if you think it's going too far and from your response it seems I'm right .I watched them for a while thought the kids were lovely but copped on to the voyeurism and I wonder why it's ok to do this to your children .How can they keep their dignity /privacy ? And safety .

OP posts:
Original poster
Hope2003 · 19/05/2015 19:36

Can I just add that I'm posting this in the internet safety thread as I really think it's relates to the safety issue .Would you as a mother be comfortable with this ?Smile

OP posts:
GobblersKnob · 19/05/2015 19:48

What the hell??

If they are happy with it then it's none of your business.

Your uncomfortable with the idea of people watching it so you embed it on here?

The little girl is beyond gorgeous.

Original poster
Hope2003 · 19/05/2015 19:54

Omg I asked a question .The little girl is gorgeous but that doesn't mean it's ok to post her on the toilet .

OP posts:
FUNM · 19/05/2015 20:26

"If they are happy with it then it's none of your business."

Showing concern for a child that has no say in what aspects of her life are broadcast, is what any well-adjusted, caring adult would do if what they were viewing has become increasingly inappropriate.

The OP has raised a very valid and topical issue regarding how much is too much for parents to share when it compromises their child's dignity and safety.

If my husband posted a video on my daughter on the internet for everyone to see I would be filing for divorce. No normal mother would accept such humiliation of her child in the public domain.

FUNM · 19/05/2015 20:32

^ I meant a video of her on the toilet. very weird

Original poster
Hope2003 · 19/05/2015 20:35

^^Thank you SmileThats exactly the kind of debate I'm trying to start here .And where better than Mumsnet ?We are all Mothers and I'm finding it increasingly disturbing to see this type of thing in the public domain .We are all concerned about our children growing up on social media SadSo how much is too much ?
And may I say that I have not watched any other blogger type family as I'm too busy .But this family were pointed out to me as they are Irish and so am I .I watched them all of 2 days maybe and decided too voyeuristic for me .Then yesterday this video came up on my feed and I thought OMG this is too much Sad

OP posts:
Walkingonsunshine00 · 19/05/2015 20:37

Shes not on the toilet, she's standing infront of it. j is very careful about his editing hence why the weren't blogging any of E Potty training etc

Original poster
Hope2003 · 19/05/2015 20:42

Well it looks like she's on the toilet and if he's "very careful " editing why film on near or standing ?In fact why film at all with a toilet in the video .What does he do follow her around with a camera all day even when she's using the bathroom ? Again I'm asking when is it too much ?

OP posts:
GobblersKnob · 19/05/2015 20:45

Even if she was on the toilet, it's just her face, or should we all be hand wringing over the fact that the paeddyfiddlers might know/think/imagine she is on the loo, shock horror.

I keep my children off social media generally (and myself mostly, I have better things to do with my time) but what others do, is not, and should not be my choice to make.

SolomanDaisy · 19/05/2015 20:47

Umm, she is near a toilet, not on a toilet and the video doesn't go below the shoulders. Your complaint is so unjustified that I suspect you are one of the parents seeking hits.

GobblersKnob · 19/05/2015 20:48

'When is too much?' Well how long is a piece of string?

Obviously this much is too much for you, and I wouldn't do it myself, but clearly it's not too much for them or millions of others.

Original poster
Hope2003 · 19/05/2015 20:48

Seeking hits ??

OP posts:
GobblersKnob · 19/05/2015 20:50

SolomonDaisy has a point there Wink

SolomanDaisy · 19/05/2015 20:50

Yes. Your intention appears to be to get every reader of this thread to click on your link. As your complaint is completely unjustified, on watching the link, I assume getting people to follow the link is the purpose of the thread.

Original poster
Hope2003 · 19/05/2015 20:56

So you think I'm the youtuber ?Lol I'm a 48 year old mother with two sons who is concerned about how little kids are being overexposed on social media .And why would I link it here anyway they don't need the views .Some people are getting.very defensive and I don't understand its a relevant question .Cake

OP posts:
FUNM · 19/05/2015 21:27

OP, sadly, it would seem that Mumsnet is not the place for any type of intelligent, mature, rational discussion about internet overexposure and safety for young kids.

This little girl is filmed in the bath and running around the house in her pants for public viewing. That is not cute. Her image has also been used on some unsavory websites. In my book , that is too far.

Original poster
Hope2003 · 19/05/2015 21:36

And there I was thinking in the toilet was too much !But surely if unsavoury sites are involved wouldn't they stop ?Is that not what any decent parent would do ?

OP posts:
FUNM · 19/05/2015 21:51

Yes, most decent parents would be more discerning about what footage they include and be more professional in their editing to ensure their kids' safety...and just to protect them naturally.
However, in this case, fame/ notoriety at whatever cost seems to be a higher priority than their own children's dignity.

FUNM · 19/05/2015 21:52

Yes, most decent parents would be more discerning about what footage they include and be more professional in their editing to ensure their kids' safety...and just to protect them naturally.
However, in this case, fame/ notoriety at whatever cost seems to be a higher priority than their own children's dignity.

DottyStripes · 19/05/2015 21:54

Well I'm not going to watch the video so it's possible my comment is invalid but I'll post anyhow.

I don't like it, but not because it may/may not be a little girl on the toilet, what I don't like is that parents publicly document every moment of their children's lives on social media. I do feel it's unfair on today's generation that they grow up not knowing any different than having every photo/video of them shared with hundreds or more people. Photos of children used to be special and they've lost that sanctity they had. I think it's perfectly fine to photo your daughter on the toilet as a proud first poo moment or whatever, but it should be kept special just as any other photos I believe should be when they involve your children. I'm so thankful that my embarrassing moments as a child were only passed on when my parents had friends round or called family etc, they've not been published indefinitely and seen by people I don't even know have seen them iyswim. I just worry that we'll find out it has a very negative impact on the children growing up now as a culture there may be some psychological damage we haven't foreseen, I don't really know what exactly and I hope I'm wrong and in 20 years time I think there's nothing to worry about...

Original poster
Hope2003 · 19/05/2015 21:58

That's so sad .Then maybe children need to be protected by law if their parents aren't willing to do it ?Another question then :Should there be a law protecting YouTube kids .If they are filmed everyday surely that's something child labour would cover ..They are earning a lot of money and children in entertainment are protected

OP posts:
Original poster
Hope2003 · 19/05/2015 22:01

Dottystripes thank you :)
That's what I feel too .These children have no voice they are innocent .

OP posts:
DottyStripes · 19/05/2015 22:20

I don't think as a culture we're at a point anyone would accept a law, we need real proof it's harmful first sadly though I think in theory it's a good idea,

I do think it's somewhat exploitation, but the majority who do it have no seedy motive, quite likely it would never occur that it could be harmful as its so commonplace and I sort of wonder if that's somewhat what happened with some of the "historic" sex abuse cases, where perhaps someone older touched someone much younger but at the time it wasn't seen as harmful in the same way as we know it is now. I don't mean really serious assaults but I know quite a few women who'd say their boss pinching their bum was just something you accepted years ago and thought "daft old men" rather than the seriousness it's given now (which is obviously right as people have been harmed by this being acceptable once) Hope I'm explaining myself ok...