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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask to borrow friends ornaments even though she's not invited to wedding??

78 replies

robinlovesfatman · 17/05/2015 19:56

Just that really. Am having small wedding, just family. Friend has few pieces that would fit in with wedding theme. We both are usually generous with each other. Would this be really cheeky?

PS they are bathroom ornaments for beach theme.

OP posts:
Theycallmemellowjello · 17/05/2015 19:58

Yes it would be rude.

wheresthelight · 17/05/2015 19:59

sorry but I think ot would be quite cheeky but I guess it depends on what sort of friendship you have

Original poster
robinlovesfatman · 17/05/2015 19:59

Thats what I feared

OP posts:
ChucksAhoy · 17/05/2015 19:59

Yes! Your poor friend - to be close enough to borrow her ornaments but not close enough to attend your wedding? Confused

nickersinaknot · 17/05/2015 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Springintosummer · 17/05/2015 20:00

Only you know what your relationship is like. I would say YANBU to ask and I think you think you are too otherwise you would not have asked.

Next time you see her I would say some thing like where did you get those ornaments from? or I am on the look out for some ornaments like the ones in your bathroom for my wedding, if you see any please let me know. This gives her the option to offer them to you.

GERTI · 17/05/2015 20:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaucyJack · 17/05/2015 20:00

If it really is just family invited, them I reckon it's fine to ask if she's the sensible type.

No different to a family party I guess.

MyCatIsAGit · 17/05/2015 20:00

Don't do it. I asked someone for a hairdresser recommendation before my wedding but didn't invite her, she's never talked to me again...

Laquitar · 17/05/2015 20:00

If it is just family it is fine. I would be happy to give you the stuff if i was your friend.

If you have invited other friends but not her then it would be rude.

Theycallmemellowjello · 17/05/2015 20:01

I like springintosummer's idea! But don't be too obvious...

londonrach · 17/05/2015 20:02

Will go against the grain here but saying ask but explain you only asking just family. Explain shes welcome to say no and be prepared to replace items if taken..

Pagwatch · 17/05/2015 20:02

Yes rude.

Unless you are prepared to stress the bloodline of all your guest and absolutely have not invited anyone to whine you are not related - which would be quite unusual I think?

PurpleSwift · 17/05/2015 20:04

Cheeky! Sorry! I'd say if she was a close enough friend she'd understand but then I'd assume she's be close enough to invite too. Could you hint? Explain it's a family only wedding and you're wanting a beach theme and need to sort some ornaments etc and she may offer?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 17/05/2015 20:04

Yes. Very rude. Why would you think it wasn't?

Original poster
robinlovesfatman · 17/05/2015 20:16

Thanks guys! I wont ask!

OP posts:
JoanHickson · 17/05/2015 20:18

Thank goodness.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 17/05/2015 20:20

I've been around long enough to come across people with a brass neck but you really do take the golden Oscar for it.
Have you heard yourself and what you sound like, a right liberty taker.
You hAve the cheek to call this women your friend yet you think it's okay to leAve her out of your wedding. That's assuming she actually gives a shit and would even be remotely interested in going!
And you're wanting to ask to loan her property.
I mean what would you say, sorry you're not part of he clique this time, everyone's (well all our friends) are invited to wedding aside from you but do you mind helping us out anyway.
I know what I'd say to you, and it would not be pleAsant

Coldcabbagestew · 17/05/2015 20:22

If your wedding is really only family I don't see the problem - though the earlier post about asking where she bought them could work.

MammaTJ · 17/05/2015 20:25

Why don't you go the whole hog and send a save the date then ask her to decorate, rather than invite her, a la Tidy Dancer!

Tidy Dancer has the most fucked up family and friends in the history of family and friends, so do not take this advice seriously!

Do not do this, it would be rude. Actually not just rude, but rude and grabby!

DO NOT DO IT!

quietasamouse · 17/05/2015 20:25

Too much of a risk I think. She is probably a bit miffed at not being invited. Even though you've said it's just family, it's still a rejection.

catchingzzzeds · 17/05/2015 20:28

I don't think it would be rude to ask if you're good friends! I wouldn't mind at all and be happy to help.

CelibacyCakeAndFuckThePO · 17/05/2015 20:30

Over reaction much, lighthouse Shock

Hang on.....do you have tasteful bathroom ornaments and a friend about to get married?

Bearbehind · 17/05/2015 20:30

It never ceases to amaze me that people even consider things like this.

You've chosen not to vote a close friend to celebrate the biggest day of your life but you feel it's appropriate to tap her up for her knick knacks.

Really Hmm

snowglobemouse · 17/05/2015 20:32

lighthouse wtf

I don't think it's rude actually, it's not like you've invited friends but left her out

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