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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wonder if you live in a fantasy world?

171 replies

WalterMittyish · 17/05/2015 10:33

NC-ed cos this is maybe a bit of a weird wondering.

I was reading the thread about weird things that you do, and it emboldened me to ask something I've ALWAYS wondered: how much of an escapist, inner 'fantasy world' do you have?

Ever since I as a child I've lived two lives ~ the day to day one, and the one in my head where everything is different. Sometimes I'm a famous singer / actor / writer, etc. Sometimes I'm married to/'involved' with someone famous. But as I'm going about my day to day business there's 'dual' versions of me doing any particular task, if that makes sense?

Am I the only one? Or are we all Walter Mittys, to a greater or lesser degree?

OP posts:

MagicMojito · 17/05/2015 12:55

Oh god I have always done it for as long as I can remember!

As a young girl, about 7or 8, I watched pretty woman (I know ) and I used to imagine I was the glamorous prostitute meeting the lovely rich man and then wed get married.
Then as a teenager I'd day dream I was waiting to be told I was really a witch and I'd wait for moody, Tonks and co to come knock on my window and reveal my true destiny to me and whisk me off to Hogwarts
Then as a young adult (early 20's) I'd imagine I was a really beautiful and sought after assasin.
Now I will literally sit herehere for way too long fantasizing about winning the lottery. I think about how I'd text dh in work that he needs to come home NOW without telling him why, then I think about him walking through the door panicking abit because he's worried something has happened and then I see the ticket shaking in my hand as I pass it over to him and we both KNOW that our lives have changed forever... Then I give my head a shake, I change a pooey nappy and get back to the pile of dishes by the sink!

Mermaidhair · 17/05/2015 13:22

My goodness it sounds like so much fun! I may have to try. It sounds like something that comes naturally though?

fortunately · 17/05/2015 13:27

I definitely do.

When I was a student I used to walk to and fro from uni on my own a lot. To while the time away I invented a child. It was a boy and was the age he would have been had he be conceived with my first boyfriend.

This lasted on and off for years, with the boy getting progressively older.

I was always a LP in the scenario.

Funny thing is I am a LP now and my life is very similar to what I imagine 20 years ago. It's like I somehow knew

fortunately · 17/05/2015 13:31

Oh I also have furious discussions with various people whilst I'm cleaning the house.

Usually exh and his family. It helps to get things off my chest but sometimes I have to stop - I get so invested that I get myself all angry and upset

DuvetCaterpillar · 17/05/2015 13:53

Yes, me too. My best friend and I invented an entire alternative Regency life for ourselves back at university - we were discussing it only a couple of weeks ago (love that woman!)

I usually imagine myself in whichever book I've just finished, or have furious arguments with imaginary versions of people who are annoying me. Zebra crossings are also an excellent opportunity for me to wave at my legions of adoring fans /paparazzi at Cannes.

Never thought it was just me, but never realised quite how many of us there were!

RabidFairy · 17/05/2015 14:15

I used to do this a lot. Less now, but I write for pleasure so have quite a few different characters and plots to dwell on instead of 'me'.

When I was growing up I was obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer so I used to daydream that I was the slayer. I remember being in assembly halls, bored silly, and daydreaming that monsters would break in and attack and I'd have to reveal myself to save everyone. I was often bullied and went to lots of schools, so that one was probably very linked to my self esteem.

Aged 17 at my first job in new Look I would be tidying the rails and clothes mind imagine whatever famous person crush I had at the time would walk in and we'd strike up a conversation and he'd fall in love with me.

I struggle with confrontation, too, so I've spent time having it out with various people and saying what I really wanted to say to them. Equally I was very shy for a long time. With hindsight I can see moments I missed where I could have made a move or whatnot, so I've replayed those moments, too.

None of it means I'm strictly unhappy with my real life, real husband or real kids etc, I just like to replay things! As well as writing, I am a gamer so that might be where it comes from.

Idontseeanydragons · 17/05/2015 14:51

Wow
I've done this for as long as I can remember, I thought I was being odd!
Mine can pop up out of nowhere - from a film or book, sometimes in interacting with the characters and sometimes the cast.
It's comforting to know that so many others do it

snowglobemouse · 17/05/2015 14:55

I sometimes do. I did it much more as a teenager. Walking home from school I became a dancer that performed with a certain rock band and the singer of the band became totally reliant on me for advice and spiritual nurturing . And I earned tons in LA and imagined all the things I would buy for my friends and family. It went on for months

Belindabelle · 17/05/2015 15:25

I remember the thread from last year too.

I have always done this even as a very young child. Like others I cant do it if I am depressed or have too much anxiety in my real life.

When I was younger they mainly always involved someone famous or real ie a journalist or politician, rock star or sports personality. Now they tend to involve me having a life with a totally made up character though sometimes they are based on real people I have met but I change details. I am always an enhanced version of myself.

I have a long running fantasy that I play out in great detail in my mind. It would make a great mini series! basically my real DH has an affair but I leave with the children and rent a house in an idyllic village. I start a relationship with the man who comes to fix the woodburner. Turns out his parents are my landlords and own half the village. They live in the big Manor House. His mother and sister hate me as they want him to marry the sisters friend. His dad and I get on great and share a love of malt whisky. Woodburner man is renovating a beautiful victorian building. He gets me to help him with decorating ideas and all his friends want me to design there houses too. We start up a very successful company together. But it doesn't all go smoothly! DH wants me back, DS 1 goes off the rails.

Also I am married to Dave Grohl. We met when we rented the log cabin next door to him and his parents. He had taken a few weeks out of his world tour to relax and I had just found out about my husbands affair and had to get away. Dave and his dad took my children fishing whilst his mum taught me to knit. By the end of the holiday we were together.

I am going to see the Foo Fighters next month. Should be interesting!

In real life I am very content and happily married.

Original poster

WalterMittyish · 17/05/2015 15:32

Can anyone remember any significant terms from last year's thread, cos I haven't managed to find it by searching (unless it was in Chat & 'evaporated' after 30 days ).

OP posts:

Ratarse · 17/05/2015 15:45

Definitely do this if I hit a quiet spot in the day, am driving and at night. I'm always rich and am usually touring with my rock band :D

SwedishEdith · 17/05/2015 15:50

I think quite a few worked as translators at the UN. Being a translator is always a credible way to explain how you could be living anywhere.

Mousefinkle · 17/05/2015 15:53

Another one that's done this her entire life. Always had a crazily vivid imagination as a child and the thing I was told off most for at school was daydreaming, right from the age of four! I've always lived in a bit of a fantasy world tbh and the struggle sometimes is separating my real life from the fantasy one . I have merged the two a few times and the reality has NEVER lived up to the fantasy, really not worth it.

I used to pretend I was famous as a child, I wrote articles about myself and my famous husband and everything . Nowadays I don't care for being famous but I do sometimes dream about certain scenarios happening. I drift off when I'm doing the cleaning or in the bath, it's wonderful.

Willdoitinaminute · 17/05/2015 16:04

I have done this since early childhood. I have never talked to anyone about it but I assume it's an extension of imaginative play with toys as a child? My Dsis and I would spend hours playing out imaginary scenarios with bits of Lego and I know she daydreams like me.
Like one of the previous posters I don't tend to do it when stressed or down.

youronlypossession · 17/05/2015 16:10

I have been doing this for years, it's really interesting to read that others do it too. I started when I was 14 and did a paper round every morning, I used to have the daydream in my head as I was riding around, and it continued as I go older. Generally I do it when I am doing something mindless like walking, running, cleaning, or cooking.

Alternative me (and it is always me) lives in LA with my famous husband, and has many Oscars. I have also won Wimbledon a few times.

Original poster

WalterMittyish · 17/05/2015 16:21

I'v won every series of Strictly so far, youronlypossession. Wimbledon, just the once

OP posts:

AmysTiara · 17/05/2015 16:30

I do this constantly. It's reassuring tofindout so many others do it too.

21pc · 17/05/2015 16:32

I don't do this but wish I did. It sounds great!

FenellaFellorick · 17/05/2015 16:36

I do.
I run through all sorts of scenarios. It's fun.

I also have a sleep thing which I suppose is a bit weird. I cannot sleep unless I pretend that there is a witch in the bedroom and she will get me unless I pretend to be asleep. The rules are she cannot touch me or do anything to me that wakes me, but she stares at me looking for any sign I am faking sleep.
I've done it since I was a kid and I cannot get to sleep unless I play it out.

BettyCatKitten · 17/05/2015 16:45

I have done this since a child. So far I have married Johnny Depp, George Clooney, loads of singers and currently Paul Bettany

Kilmeny · 17/05/2015 17:05

I do and have done for over 25 years, variations on the same theme and group of people who are semi famous. Despite holding down jobs, relationships, children etc it's always there in my mind.

Mine is a bit strange though as with the advent of social media I have become online friends with some of the people and we talk for hours. I would never tell them what I do of course. But I can gently quiz them and have more background info for my fantasy life.
I sound like a massive weirdo but I'm happy and you'd never guess the intricate stuff in my head from looking at me.

flicksake · 17/05/2015 17:06

I have been married to Alexander Skarsgard for about 8 months now. He's very demanding but I still manage to work full time and bring up 2 dc.
sighs happily

FriendlyLadybird · 17/05/2015 17:10

Me too and, like others, before going to sleep. When I was little (OK, now too) I used to love going to bed first to read, and then to enjoy my fantasy life.

flicksake · 17/05/2015 17:13

I also had a lovely couple of years where I went off in the tardis for lots of Fun and excitement with David Tennant.
He still pops by occasionally and we pick up where we left off, seamlessly.

Catsahoy · 17/05/2015 17:38

Yes, I'm another one that does. It keeps me sane. Especially trying to get to sleep or when I'm on auto pilot. I'm normally someone else or living a hugely different life.

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