to wonder if you live in a fantasy world?

[WalterMittyish]

NC-ed cos this is maybe a bit of a weird wondering.

I was reading the thread about weird things that you do, and it emboldened me to ask something I've ALWAYS wondered: how much of an escapist, inner 'fantasy world' do you have?

Ever since I as a child I've lived two lives ~ the day to day one, and the one in my head where everything is different. Sometimes I'm a famous singer / actor / writer, etc. Sometimes I'm married to/'involved' with someone famous. But as I'm going about my day to day business there's 'dual' versions of me doing any particular task, if that makes sense?

Am I the only one? Or are we all Walter Mittys, to a greater or lesser degree?

[JustAScreenName]

Lillicat I am very much like you, I think! Soap opera style, and I don't feature in it at all. And yes, "having a suitable amount of headspace to be able to enjoy it is vital to my sanity" - I relate to this entirely.

I've had the same characters since I was a kid, though I've added and deleted some over the years, and the storylines have become more complicated and sophisticated as I've grown up (I am in my 40s!). It's not grand adventure stuff though, more the trials and tribulations of a few families in a certain town. For a long time one character will be the main focus for me, and the rest of the action happens around them (sometimes a man, sometimes a woman), but then I might get particularly interested in one of the other characters for awhile, and tell myself stories about them. I am attached to my characters; I have killed some off for the sake of the story and then found myself going back more often to earlier storylines because I missed them .

When I'm developing a particular character or storyline, I really do 'inhabit' that character in my mind, and they seem very real to me. It was a huge relief when I discovered (on a previous MN thread) that other people do this too. :)

[StarlingMurmuration]

I have one particular fantasy based around a book I read when I as linger, that I use to get myself to sleep, when I have insomnia. I rarely daydream otherwise, now, though I used to do it quite a lot before I had my DP and DS... I'd fantasise about the guy at work I had a crush on sweeping off my feet etc. I did it a lot more when I was a child and a teen.

[StarlingMurmuration]

*when I was younger, not when I as linger. Bloody autocorrect.

[WalterMittyish]

Hurrah ~ found the other thread on this:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2337894-Does-anyone-else-have-a-fantasy-life-with-a-celebrity

I tell you, I've ever felt as 'normal' as I do now :)

[DazzleU]

I've always done this despite being a very logical person.

I do read a lot but don't write.

I did it as a DC - to cope with long car journeys and going to bed way to early I thought.

Like another poster here I do get upset having imaginary arguments with difficult family members - which does seem counter productive as I do get wound up but then seems to help me actually deal with them later. Pretty sure my eldest does this too when she thinks she's unobserved has quite heated one sided conversations.

I'm not always in the stories as such and may not always by mine but sometimes play around with other stories that catch my imagination what if that happened instead or what if they were slightly different.

It just goes on - while I'm busy doing stuff - though obviously if not really focused on a task requiring focus - but rest of time I'm very busy but also thinking.

[Fluffcake]

Yep and I'm usually thin and a much nicer person in my day dreams!

[whois]

Yes absolutely, but it's not the kid of daydreaming where I actually want that to be my life, it's just an alternative scanario if you like.

Apparently people who day dream do worse in life because you aren't focused on changing your reality for the better, I stead you ca switch off and dream. I can kinda see that. But I also think being able to dream and run through other scarios can mean your able to deal with bad things and be more content

[Thurlow]

It's interesting what people say about how they used to fantasize about celebrities but don't know they're older, I thought that was just me!

As a teenager I was married to Kevin Costner showing my age here because he saw me somewhere and fell madly in love

In my twenties I was famous myself for being some sort of supercool Mockney gangster movie scriptwriter, with whichever celebrity I fancied at the time as my boyfriend

Now I'm older I prefer to daydream about a completely different version of real life. Where I'm an awesome journalist or something like that, shacked up with a hot detective. This sort of daydream has the benefit of being able to include any celebrity you want in the role of said hot detective

Does anyone else find they daydream nowadays about characters more than actors? Like I had a huge long running daydream about Greg House, but wouldn't touch Hugh Laurie with a bargepole.

[TheObligatoryNotQuiteSoNewGirl]

I do this!

I'm not in the fantasies anymore, though - not since I was a child with 17 invisible children (I never had an imaginary friend, just invisible children) - there were a set of quads, quintuplets and twins in there, and somehow I had two children called Zack, but I think they were spelt Zach and Zak, so that was obviously okay!

I write a lot, and so usually I'm just talking through future scenes in my head, most of them several times to make sure I don't forget them before I get to write them down.

These days, I have more ideas and more "people in my head" than I have time to write seriously about, so I either just write down snatches of "story" about them, or even just names and ages and dates so I don't forget them. Currently the most active in my head are:

Anna, the woman who started off as a teenager in an abusive relationship - she's now married (not to the abusive guy) with five children. I also know what happened to her three younger siblings, and the story seems to be hovering around the point where her eldest gets married/her youngest brother discovers he has a four-year-old daughter (I jump back and forwards in time, but haven't got past that point yet).

Then there's Sadie, the woman who's fostering her niece and nephew, who at some point lives next door to the family above. She ranges in age from about 12 to 30, but mostly at the moment I get the early bits when she fosters her Bess and Benjamin.

Then there's the blended family with fourteen children. (Jack and Elle, and Josiah, Daisy, Jasmine, Jimmy, Tommy, Henry, Callie, Carlton, Joshua, Jordan, Alice, Jess, Alexander and Benji). They're a bit of a logistical nightmare - six of them are in the same school year.

One group of people who've been noticeably absent from my head recently are the foster family - she's called Caitlin and he's called Ethan and Elliot interchangeably because I called him one, forgot I had, made up a new name, and then remembered the old name. I've talked (mostly in my head, although sometimes out loud if no one else's around) through them foster three teenage boys successively, then "their" son and daughter, whom they later adopt, then Samuel (my favourite - now with his lovely dad, step-mum and baby sister), Jackie (either adopted by relatives in Australia or back with dad, again, two alternate versions which were created when I forgot the first one and then remembered it again) and then Boaz and Brooklyn, who they appear to be hovering at the point of adopting too, whilst also emergency fostering, first Jessica whilst her single mum was in hospital, then Corey (who later gets fostered by Anna from up ^ there's brother Will), and then Seb, who created a whole spin-off based on his adoptive parents.

And that was probably far more detail than anyone ever wanted, and I haven't even got started on my Harry Potter Fan Fic cast of thousands, nor the two great stories I started and then got bogged down with the sequels...

[matroyshka]

So interesting to read that other people did this, I thought it was just me being dissatisfied with my real life. I've always done it, especially while waiting to fall asleep.

[littlejohnnydory]

I don't do this but I used to as a child. Very rich alternative fantasy lives!

[Julietee]

On the cross trainer I used to image I was in the cockpit of a giant battle robot directing it into the skirmish and talking to my team mates on a headset.

Similarly, whilst swimming I'd pretend I was exploring the atmosphere of a planet in which the atmosphere was as thick as water and allowed humans to swim miles above the surface.

[eddielizzard]

i do this all the time. it's brilliant! i have an amazing double life. i thought i was the only one!!

[WalterMittyish]

Eddie, your near-namesake was in involved a long-term fantasy-world relationship with me a few years back

[eddielizzard]

it's no co-incidence

[CalleighDoodle]

whois i can see how that would be true.

Another famtasist. When i swim, run, drive, getting ready to sleep im living a different (happy, exciting where i am loved) life. It is definitely a coping mechanism.

[MTWTFSS]

The only way I get through the day!

[KeepitDown]

I feel so much more normal reading this thread. I don't even tell DH what I get up to in my head at night because I think it comes across odd.

I have a very elaborate spaceship that I've been mentally adding to slowly over years. Some of the highlights:
-A darkly-lit swimming pool with overhanging trees and a glass dome roof looking out into the stars.
-Another glass dome reading area filled with cushions and blankets.
-A greenhouse where I can create new plants as well as grow them, and have a little furry creature that sits on my shoulder and hums in my ear while I garden.
-A "bridge" with a console that holds all the categories of my life lit up in red/yellow/green depending on how happy I am with them.
-A pod, rather like a sensory deprivation pod, hidden inside the wall with a built in computer and hidden cameras overlooking the ship. Kind of a sci-fi version of a panic room really. Just realised how depressing it is that I need one of these in my fantasy!

Anyway, there is also a silent wise guide-visitor that comes from time to time and kind of communicates telepathically. Usually a 'he', and takes on various appearances, most recently Matt Smith's 'The Doctor'.

Looks a bit crazy written down, but also a bit cathartic to realise I'm not alone in escapism.

[FannyPlant]

Yes! I have several lives I escape into. I couldn't cope with reality otherwise. It's my safe place.

[TheIncredibleBookEatingManchot]

I've always done this too.

The earliest I one I remember was centred around He Man. He saved my life then discovered I had magical powers and the Sorceress adopted me.

As a pre-teen I had an imaginary twin... which was weird because I have a real twin.

I invented a magical world and imagined myself playing major roles at various points in its history.

In my early to mid-teens I was the singer in the most successful band ever. I had the whole story worked out from how I met my band mates, to our first limited edition single all the way to our triple-platinum album. Of course I had many famous musician boyfriends and the whole reason for the Blur/Oasis rivalry was because Damon and Liam were fighting over me.

At the moment I'm an elf and my dragon and I are in hiding from a government organisation that hunts down and destroys magical beings.

[PeppermintCrayon]

Yeah, I do. Started as a child to escape a miserable abusive household by disappearing into my head. Still vanish into it in times of stress.

[SilverNightFairy]

I absolutely live in my head. Im always making up scenarios, I have a rich fantasy life. I blame this on my Tickle deodorant, circa 1978. The bottle was microphone shaped and I was Debby Boone...

My out of reality dramas have become more sophisticated but I can pass an entire drive to work in my other personas.

[crossroads15]

I do it. Generally in bed when I'm trying to get to sleep or can't sleep and occasionally if I'm in the car on my own. Don't have time during the day. Good to read I'm not alone... I have wondered if it might be symptomatic of depression or something. I'm fairly content with my day to day life....I don't have much I need to 'escape' from. I've thought about writing some of it down...

[DonnaKebab66]

I'm reassured now I'm not bonkers. I'm another who does it while trying to sleep.