to wonder if you live in a fantasy world?

[WalterMittyish]

NC-ed cos this is maybe a bit of a weird wondering.

I was reading the thread about weird things that you do, and it emboldened me to ask something I've ALWAYS wondered: how much of an escapist, inner 'fantasy world' do you have?

Ever since I as a child I've lived two lives ~ the day to day one, and the one in my head where everything is different. Sometimes I'm a famous singer / actor / writer, etc. Sometimes I'm married to/'involved' with someone famous. But as I'm going about my day to day business there's 'dual' versions of me doing any particular task, if that makes sense?

Am I the only one? Or are we all Walter Mittys, to a greater or lesser degree?

[5madthings]

I have always done this, mainly when I am going to sleep. There was another thread about it ages ago where we all discussed it, can't remember what it was called though.

[YouTheCat]

Another day dreamer here.

They used to involve thoughts of celebrity lifestyle when I was a teen. Now it's more about how different things would be if I won the euro millions.

[dixiechick1975]

I do it sort of an ongoing soap opera in my head. I've done it since I was little (not same scenario but this one had been with me for years) More so at stressful times - way of switching off. If I've read/seen something that sometimes get incorporated. Before sleeping or when listening to music. Not a daily thing but always there.my daughter is called the name I am in my Alternative. Have always liked the name.

[YaTalkinToMe]

While you daydreamers have been busy thinking about your fantasy world, the boring one amongst us has to research why

found this
Research by psychologists Steven Lynn and Judith Rhue has found that heavy daydreamers are no less successful or well-adjusted than the less fantasy-prone and, in fact, they may have a slight creative edge over others.

So the creativity thing looks to be right.

[WalterMittyish]

YaTalkinToMe, I actually feel a bit embarrassed about mine (even though there's nothing to connect this user name to my 'real' life) as it feels like such a private and personal world.

I actually blush a little bit when the person I'm pretend 'married' to appears on TV without warning. I also know a couple of people who know him IRL, which is kind of weird too. I'm not 'stalkery', though ~ if I met him I'd probably blank him!

[The80sweregreat]

hi, yes I do. I daydream about being more assertive in life, being more successful and better looking, having enough money to go to Bali for a holiday. Reality is the opposite to this, but I try to also think it could be so much worse than it is and then I count my blessings and remember what I do have in life and how I would miss those things. Its healthy to daydream I think, it hurts nobody at all.

[florentina1]

When I was younger I would relive my day through the fantasy world.

Since being married and living in London, my fantasy has been living with 8 children on a small holding in Wales.

It is great, because, in the 45 years of this fantasy, the kids have never been a problem,they have not got any older and I have got loads of help in the home.

If at any stage in my life I had won a substantial amount of money, there is no way I would have bought a small-holding in Wales. Might have wanted 8'kids though.

[WineCowboy]

Haha yes god only know what either life would end up being like if I tried to run two complicated busy lives! Although it does sound nice to be able to escape to another place....

I do visualise myself doing things to prepare me, like interviews or presentations but I don't think that is what everyone else on here does.

[WalterMittyish]

Ooooh, thanks for the research, I'll look that study up.


To add: I know objectively that my fantasy world isn't real. It 'feel's real when I'm thinking about it, but the rational part of my mind still knows that it's not. So I'm not one of those people who 'really' believes that they're married to a certain person and doesn't objectively realise that they're not.

[WalterMittyish]

And now I'm wondering what's going on in my DH's head most of the time ~ he's a creative bod too

[Lilicat1013]

I am so pleased to find so many other people who do this, I thought I was the only one!

Mine is the more soap opera style one and I don't feature in it. I have a character that is 'mine' but she isn't me or anything like me.

I have storylines but I go back and forth on them, they don't stay in a correct time order.

The current incarnation started about five years ago although a vast majority of the characters were in the version I did when I was a teenager. I do remember having different stories going on when I was a child.

Having a suitable amount of headspace to be able to enjoy it is vital to my sanity, I tend to do it when I do other things like cleaning. Ideally though I like to walk on my own with music on.

[HarrietVane99]

Yep, started when I was very young. Usually I would go and have adventures with the characters from whatever book I was reading at the time. I may or may not have attended the Chalet School at one point and been friends with the triplets.

Then I moved on to inventing characters, rather than making up stories about 'me' and other people's characters, and now I'm a writer.

[Heyho111]

I've just googled about daydreaming as it's something I do a lot. From thinking over scenarios in my head to going to a different life.
Apparently it's very healthy to day dream and we do it for about 50% of our wakeful time. It helps us sort out situations even if what we are thinking about appears fantasy.
So keep day dreaming ! Phew !

[BestZebbie]

I don't daydream like in the OP - but I do LARP, which means physically visiting actual fantasy world(s) shared with lots of other people and having adventures there as someone else, so perhaps that removes the need.

[floatyflo]

I do this too. Always have. I do find I do it more when my depression and anxiety is playing. Definitely escapism. I have to be carefull as it makes me more depressed in RL as I start to long for my fantasy life.

I keep the balance generally. Music most definitely helps it a lot and makes it more intense. I love listening to music as I fall asleep or havjng a long walk as it flows and creates itself so well then. I really should get some of mine onto paper.

I couldn't possible share mine in any detail, even on here as you would probably think mine are all weird. It's not all positive and happy times in my daydreams. But I think thats because it needs to still have some sort of logic. I can't have a fantasy that is purely pleasant and happiness as that's not how real life works. You have to have the shit times to have the Good times. Like if in RL I am on a bus, I can't be driving in the fantasy. I have to still be the passenger.

[VanillaTwirl]

I do too, I always have - but like others I stopped when I had depression & anxiety (it's back now intermittently as I get better).

My husband doesn't at all - he says his mind is completely blank when he sits doing nothing, like hibernating (I can't understand that at all as my mind is always busy with something).

I think that anxiety makes me fuss over so many different things that it leaves me no room to daydream and depression leaves me too hopeless to daydream nice stuff so it all becomes quite catastrophic, worst case stuff; I know when I am starting to get better when my daydreaming gets mare and is enjoyable again.

[ByronBaby]

oh no, I never dream that I am the secret wife of a very famous rock star and he married me in the early days when we met in a bar in Aussie and lived in a flat above an old fashioned perol station. Nor do I ever dream Iam a really talented photographer and i am asked to go on tour with loads of musicians to document their lives. And i never ever dream that I am an inspiring country teacher working in the 20s in New Zealand's East Cape bringing hope and joy to children and meeting a very handsome Maori leader who falls completely in love with me. I am usually influenced by something i have read or seen, but then my daydreams get completely out of hand. AND I have revenge day dreams where old boyfriends get their comeuppance!

[WalterMittyish]

That's the same type of thing as me, Byron!

[DarkHeart]

I do this too - thought it was just me ??

[Thclockstrucktwo]

I've always done it. You might think it was that Skywalker dude who save the galaxy from Darth Vader but it was me

[AmIthatHot]

Walter, there was a long thread on this very subject last year, I think.

It seems this is very, very common.

I do it too and even admit to looking at property porn to find the right settings for my other life

[WalterMittyish]

Was there, AmIthatHot ~ I'll search and see if I can find it. I'm fascinated by this stuff.

And yeah, property porn. I get quite indignant when someone has the temerity to buy my house (even though it was £600k out of my budget). Especially when I'd even planned where the book shelves were going to go.

[DeeWe]

I've done this for years. Mostly when going to sleep, but as a child on long journeys (and we did a lot of them). You wouldn't believe the number of people I've saved on the M6 over the years.
I don't generally do it on long journeys now as I'm driving, at any rate they aren't as complicated.

I was quite a lonely child, who liked adventure stories so a lot of my stories then were around me solving mysteries with friends.
Now I could split them into three types: Brief ones where I'm waiting for something like children to come out of school, and a disaster enfolds ahead of me and I do something heroic. Or sometimes someone getting their comeuppance when they've irritated me.
Quiet ones, where I'm walking on my own in the middle of the country, often near water. I do those when I'm in a busy/noisy place I don't like.
And ones which are extentions (but generally more complicated) of my childhood ones. I'm not in those now, more narrating, but it's the same set of children I was "friends" with back then, though not necessarily all of them at once.
I wrote some of those down once for the dc. They're not very good though as I haven't got a way with words, plus when I'm doing the stories in my head I tend to skip quickly from one exciting bit to another (like Nancy Drew stories) so I find the getting from one plot to another hard to link easily, it tends to be either overly drawn out with descriptions or rushed and a bit bland.

Dd2 definitely does this. I think for the last year she's gone to sleep in a dorm in the Chalet School. I think her best friend is Len.
I'm pretty sure dd1 doesn't do it-she's very like dh in such things as dh's immagination is limited to wondering if the trees will bear apples this year or not-she's more imaginative than that, but I don't think making up stories is where she's at.
I think the last few months ds may be camping out with the Lone Piners. He's even requested to be called Dickie, which is quite funny as I turned down Richard (family name on both sides) as a name for him as I felt it wasn't right for him. Strangely Dickie does suit him rather (but I'm very glad he hasn't a twin called Mary!)

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

I do this too and I have favourite go to sleep scenes which help me sleep irl.
no way would I share them though, not in a million years.

[DuchessofNorks]

In my head, I have entirely different lives. I imagine how things I am about to do can be played out. I get completely lost, almost as if my real 'self' ceases to exist for a while.