to wonder if you live in a fantasy world?

[WalterMittyish]

NC-ed cos this is maybe a bit of a weird wondering.

I was reading the thread about weird things that you do, and it emboldened me to ask something I've ALWAYS wondered: how much of an escapist, inner 'fantasy world' do you have?

Ever since I as a child I've lived two lives ~ the day to day one, and the one in my head where everything is different. Sometimes I'm a famous singer / actor / writer, etc. Sometimes I'm married to/'involved' with someone famous. But as I'm going about my day to day business there's 'dual' versions of me doing any particular task, if that makes sense?

Am I the only one? Or are we all Walter Mittys, to a greater or lesser degree?

[WalterMittyish]

I'm now really curious about the reason why some do it and others don't.

I'm genuinely very happy in my 'real' life (I have shitty days as well of course): happily married, lovely kids, interesting career, etc, so I'm not 'escaping' from any unhappiness or misery in my day to day life.

At school I was always the one told off for daydreaming & staring out of the window, etc (but then I also did very well academically, so it obviously wasn't an sort of impediment).

I was heartened recently in the Peter Kay 'Car Share' thing when Kayleigh went off on her Anastasia fantasy trip ~ it's not just me!

Not telling you who I'm currently 'married' to through ~ and weirdly I don't especially fancy him, in reality. So that is kind of odd ...

[Anniegetyourgun]

Don't do it nearly as much as I used to, but yes. Quite surprised to find there are people who don't!

[GregorysGirl18]

I do this! It's quite reassuring to hear that other people do it too.

I do the 'episode' thing. I have lots of conversations in my head with imaginary people. Sometimes it's almost like a soap opera in head with ongoing storylines and different characters . They've been with me since I was about ten and we've kind of grown up together.

Also when I'm driving if a song comes on that I like I imagine that I'm living through a moment in my life and that song is playing and think about the emotions that I would be feeling. Never really told anyone this before; I always think they'll just think I'm a weirdo

[Arsenic]

Well that sounds better.

I might try to have a fantasy about a world with no plumbers (plumbing magic instead), no muzak, no yodel and no freelance admin

[WalterMittyish]

murmuration and IWishIWishedLess: interesting, because I'm an avid reader and do a lot of writing. I also, pre-kids, had a brief dalliance with acting, so I wonder if it's an extension of that?

[1Morewineplease]

Oh I'm so glad I'm not alone!!! Like Walter I pick up from where I left off each day usually when I go to bed but I visit my other world when I'm choring , on a long journey , in the bath etc... Been doing it ever since I was quite young and yes it might have to do with being an avid reader as a child ... Interestingly I am an only child... Might that have anything to do with it?

Really fab thread OP!!!

[BlackeyedSusan]

I used too. brain too tired to think about this life let alone another.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

I have an amazing fantasy life.

[Emiliasmumtobe]

I do this too and pretty much every day. I'm also an avid reader and dabbled in acting in the past. This is the first time I've heard from other people who do it too. So glad to know it's not just me!

[whatsagoodusername]

I used to do it, like murmuration as a different character - it was never me. I wrote thousands and thousands of pages of fiction from it. Quite literally, one story was over 1300 pages, and that was just one.

My father died five years ago, I got pregnant/married/babies and I've completely lost it since then. I miss it, but no idea how to get it back, since I never tried to do it - it just happened.

I do have conversations in my head with real people too, and often forget I haven't actually had the conversation in real life. I suspect it makes me seem very forgetful and flaky because I convince myself that I have told someone something, but haven't actually in real life.

[TwartFaceBeetj]

Thank you murmur I think I will now make an effort to try and do it again in that case.

I never even realise this had stopped or when it had, until I read this thread.

I was going to write on here about my other little worlds, when it struck me that I hadn't any resent memories of it.

[ShadowsInTheDarkness]

I have always done this. Something I've noticed when talking to friends about this is that very logical facts and figures minded people don't do this as much. I've always been hopeless with figures and very good with words, am a good writer etc so I've always suspected it varies depending on what sort of brain you've got!

Mine has become interwoven with anxiety issues I had. I was different at school, picked on because of it, abusive home life, abusive relationships, PND and then anxiety and depression which made leaving the house an effort. I'd always daydreamed down the more fantasy route - I had magical powers, I was a witch who could cause the bullies to quake in fear etc. one day I was walking down the road and saw these boys, now much older, who had made my life so unbearable and I was back as a teenager again, feeling small and scared. So in my head I pictured myself as this great sorceress. I had really long red hair with black jewels woven through it and this long dark blue dress that pooled into darkness at my feet. I was powerful and beautiful and could do anything, I was fearless and the opinions of these pathetic people didn't matter to me. It worked. I walked taller, and straight past them without feeling that usual surge of anxiety, no panic attack followed, I felt invincible!

That other me has become a permanent part of my inner world now. I came off the meds, I am now a confident person who can take on anything new without that old familiar panic. I day dream all the time about battles from the fantasy novels I read with me fighting a long side, or negotiating with baddies. Sometimes I'm living in an old cottage on a remote headland miles from other people, with a lovely rugged mercenary. Weirdly I never have children in this fantasy world.

It's not miles away from my normal life, I have the red hair and my dress sense is pretty alternative. I'm pagan so the whole idea of tapping into the power of nature is not quite as alien as it would be some others. It helps me get through the tougher times as a lone parent. It's definitely a form of escapism. I used to read all the time and obv with kids I can't read as much, but having a running novel in your head is a good substitute. Funnily enough my mother never day dreamed and when she found out I did she took me to the doctors - sign of a fantasist she said!

[ThingummyJigg]

I do this.

Mostly because my life is shite, to escape it.



brittany I'm horrified - that fucker is a bigamist! I'm just glad he never found out about my secret affair with Billy Idol, when I was Mrs Le Bon.

[WalterMittyish]

I absolutely LOVE the fact that there are others walking around with a cast of thousands in their head and a whole other life going on

I first realised other people might do it when I read (in a psychology textbook) about a man who pretended to be an F1 driver when driving to work. Until that point I didn't know that other people did it, or how extensively. But thinking about it, when I watch my kids playing so much of their games involves 'fantasy worlds' and pretending to be other people that it's maybe not that surprising that we carry a bit of that through into adulthood.

From now on I'll be looking at everyone I meet and wondering what's happening behind their eyes.

[YaTalkinToMe]

I am not a creative person, I am very factual (though I do read a lot), I was just cleaning and what was going through my head was things I had to do and thinking about some business figures.
It must be about how our brains work.

[WineCowboy]

Wow! I have never done this!! I wouldn't know where to start?
I hope for things to happen and have aspirations but I don't think I daydream?

I am clearly missing out!

[WineCowboy]

YY Talkin that's what I do too, working out stuff to do with work or planning, never fun stuff.

[ShadowsInTheDarkness]

Ooh someone else has made the creative mind connection. A Pp mentioned being an only child - yep me too. Although I do have some half siblings but didn't find out about those until adulthood so grew up as an only.
It isn't a conscious thing, some other posters are right, it isn't something I can control or have to actively do. It's an automatic part of how my mind works. Everything I approach in life, there's a running inner world parallel in my head. Or if I'm doing something mundane there's a rubbing inner world alternative in my head. I also have conversations with people and forget whether I've actually told the real person or not and I rehearse conversations of importance in my head until I've got the words right so that in meetings or discussions I'm almost reading from an internal script.

This is a fab thread. So interesting!

[Alchemist]

www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=PPk4Inx0DpU#t=21

This song by Kevin Ayres is lovely.

"I'm happy dreaming, it's good for my health
Only when I'm dreaming am I really myself"

[MrsMook]

I've always had some kind of story rattling around in my head, normally a spin off from a novel or song that's grabbed my imagination. I don't do it so much now I have DCs as I'm so tired at night, I fall asleep too soon to let my mind wonder. There normally is some part of my brain on a wild diversion. Probably why time keeping is not my strong point.

I frequently check the backs of wardrobes for pine trees and snow just in case...

[ShipwreckedAndComatose]

This is completely and utterly what I do and I cannot remember a time when I didn't!

[ShadowsInTheDarkness]

Does anyone else find it's stronger when they listen to music? If I've got music on, especially classical stuff of the film score type I get all sort of caught up in it and big dramatic things take place in my head. I am musical though so maybe that's why?

[zeezeek]

I'm so glad I found this thread because I always thought I was the only one who did this - even though I'm apparently a logical person! I also have a very happy home life, but sometimes it's nice to drift away to my other life where I have no stresses or problems. I tend to not daydream at work - mostly because I'm afraid I might get my two worlds mixed up - but driving, doing the dishes, walking the dogs, at school plays (sorry kids)....all me time, even if it's not really.

Think both of the girls have inherited it too - I'm really glad. I think we all need an inner life where we can safely indulge ourselves.

[YaTalkinToMe]

wine
It might be a blessing though, I struggle to remember what's going on with my real life people, I would never cope with a few thousand others .

[YaTalkinToMe]

Does anyone mind sharing theirs, I know people have given brief examples, but a bit more in depth?