to wonder if you live in a fantasy world?

[WalterMittyish]

NC-ed cos this is maybe a bit of a weird wondering.

I was reading the thread about weird things that you do, and it emboldened me to ask something I've ALWAYS wondered: how much of an escapist, inner 'fantasy world' do you have?

Ever since I as a child I've lived two lives ~ the day to day one, and the one in my head where everything is different. Sometimes I'm a famous singer / actor / writer, etc. Sometimes I'm married to/'involved' with someone famous. But as I'm going about my day to day business there's 'dual' versions of me doing any particular task, if that makes sense?

Am I the only one? Or are we all Walter Mittys, to a greater or lesser degree?

[PrittStickandGlitter]

Oh and I totally relate to the property porn thing, when I'm out and about I'm always eyeing up houses wondering if they would be suitable for the fantasy me!

[PrittStickandGlitter]

God, you lot have made me feel normal! I've done this for a long as I can remember and no one knows, not one person. Even my DH doesn't know and to be honest, I would feel like I had spoilt it if I ever discussed it with someone in rl. I have a very happy life, I'm very content so for me it's not escapism. In fact, during times of stress, I tend not to do it as I have too much else to think about.

In my fantasy world, I'm usually either a writer/singer/actor/sportsperson and always engaged in some sort of passionate affair with someone famous and highly unsuitable. I've been on Desert Island Discs more times than I can count and written several very famous books. Some of them have even been made into films which have been on the telly and on occasion, I've had to stop myself going "ooh I wrote that!"

Weirdly, I had a bit of a long running thing with a relatively famous musician who I subsequently met a few times socially. I remember sitting there having a perfectly normal conversation with him while simultaneously remembering all the things I had previously imagined about him. It was a very strange scenario.

Here's the very strangest thing though. About 6 months ago, I had a Mirena coil put in and now I hardly do it at all. It's just like I can't be bothered any more and it holds no pleasure for me. I'm quite sad about it and will probably have the coil taken out anyway (Not for that reason! Bloody bastard Mirena! Etc.) so hopefully I'll find my mojo again. I stopped for a quite a long period of time during my twenties as well. I think at the time I just assumed I had grown out of it but with hindsight, I can see that it coincided with me being on the pill. So definitely in my case, hormones have a lot to do with it.

[aliasjoey]

Also, sometimes I pretend I've swapped lives with the Duchess of Cambridge. I'm cuddling a newborn baby all day, and having someone do my hair and makeup; while she spends 20 minutes every morning trying to find a parking space while fielding calls from teachers about lost permission slips.

[Pilgit]

Absolutely. Different fantasies depending on the day.

[eatyouwithaspoon]

I have always done this, mostly in quiet momments like when im dropping iff to sleep. My life normak but im so amazingly beautiful I have a very rich handsome man madly in love with me slighly different senarios each time but generally the same characters. Very differnt from my mundane life and looks sadley. I remember an Ali McBeal (showy my age there) and a lady was fighting for the right to stay unconscious or could have been die as she could stay in her amazing fantasy world and dancing off with some handsome dream man and I though, yes, thats me

[Swingball]

Yes always done this and at this very moment I can hear dd chuntering away to herself so she is the same.

[FannyPlant]

I love you all

[murmuration]

I'm utterly fascinated by the divide of those who do and those who don't. Is this something everyone does as a toddler, say, and some people lose it as they grow up? Or do some people just never do it? I can recall tiny snippets of fantasies I had while walking with my Mum on the way to preschool (we walked through a woods and it was 'enemy territory' and I was a spy, etc.), so I know I've done it for a long time.

I have a lot of spy ones. When I was in school I used to pretend I was a spy learning my cover to help me study :) I also was anything interesting and famous, like a singer or olympic althelete or race car driver, that I'd seen recently. Usually they'd be like me, but also have this exciting other life -- have to leave school early to give a concert, and things like that. And then I have ones that are just completely out there, like the physician on another planet when a big space-war breaks out and she ends up leading a cell of the resistance against the evil overlords trying to take over the universe, and such.

I also find it interesting that some of us notice it vanishing when depressed, but others find it intensifies in such situations, to the point of being a problem. I wonder what makes it different for different people.

[wompom]

[StarlingMurmuration]

I just asked DP if he does this too, and he denied it, then bullied me into telling him my sleep fantasy, chuckled for ages, then got really excited about the novel-writing possibilities. We've just spent an enjoyable hour over dinner batting ideas around and building a decent plot against the background of my world building.

(He didn't bully me aggressively, before anyone says LTB. Just teased me til I crumbled)

[queeneileen]

Also I have the Sleb Fantasy Life. Where I became a wild child going to gigs, doing drugs, being thin and sexy, and rock n roll, and dating Dave Grohl and/or Josh Homme.

Fab.

My life, for the record, is ok.

[queeneileen]

I do this too!

In my Fantasy Life (FL) I'm married, a size 10, I have 3 children, a big house, a garden, a part-time job, I cook, clean, laugh lots, live in a Boden advert, drink just enough wine to enjoy myself but not fall over, in FL I am Fecking Perfect.

FL beats RL every. single. time.

[LokiBear]

I've spent my life thinking I'm a fruit loop. I'm glad I've found my people! My 'alternate life' happens mostly as I'm trying to go to sleep.

[ShelaghTurner]

Have done this all my life. I remember wondering, when I was about 15, if I would still be doing it when I was a proper grown up in my forties. Well hello!

A good 95% of the time I'm going about my business with a whole other world going on in my head.

[fortunately]

I have to say I've stopped recently.

rl has been a bit tricky the last couple of years, so I don't think it's healthy to retreat into a fantasy world. It makes it too depressing when you realise the gulf between fantasy and reality!

[SaucyJack]

That's nothing silvernightfairy

Last week I saved a six year old from a pit bull by beating it to death with my bare hands.

[RobbStarksBitch]

I do this all the time, it actually makes me sad because I wonder if it's the reason I will never be 100% satisfied with my real life ??

[OrangeVase]

I do it. Sometimes too much when things are bad. It does help but just sometimes I need to face reality.

When things are just "normal" it is harmless

[BettyCatKitten]

This is a great thread, I feel I have found 'my people'

[louwn]

I do this too sometimes. I connect it to my childhood desire to be an author...sadly not fulfilled as I am now an accountant!

[Egged]

I've always done this - I think it originated in being a voracious early reader and an insomniac toddler, who still at 42 finds the time between switching off the light and actually falling asleep almost unbearable. I grew up to be a novelist.

[Penguinsaresmall]

In my other life, Idris Elba is on his knees, begging me for it every night...

Or is that not the same thing?

[vladthedisorganised]

Of course. Especially when I'm bored. I'm an only child who writes fiction so it was inevitable I suppose. I don't really remember when I didn't.

I find it happens especially when I'm trying to get through a very tedious task - my outer self might be waiting for a delayed train and feeling a bit chilly, my inner self is a Jason Bourne-like character who can see snipers at every turn and manages to 'rinse' the CIA assassins that are heading towards me on platform 12..

Sometimes my fantasy life makes its way into a plot line, more often not - it would be a bit Mary-Sue-ish if it did, mostly. "'It's been years since I played the piano,' said Vlad with a shrug, 'but if you need a session musician for the follow up to your platinum-selling album, then I could give it a go.' Anthony Kiedis breathed a sigh of relief. Thank God they could record to schedule, despite his broken hand. And something told him that this mysterious lady he'd bumped into on the train might have more to her than met the eye...."

[DonVitoCorleone]

Haven't read the full thread yet but i do this all the time. When i told DP i had to have a bit of a day dream before i could fall asleep he told me i was weird i now wonder if his mind is totally blank before he goes to sleep

[Jjou]

Yep, I do this and have done all my life. I just have another narrative going on in my head all the time where I'm a singer/painter/sports star/actor etc. and all featuring famous people or ones I've made up. In these stories I'm always the best version of myself and amazingly good at whatever I'm pursuing! When I get bored with 1 scenario I just draw a line under it and start another from scratch.

Nobody in real life knows I do this as there's no way to explain it without sounding like a weirdo. And once I've said it out loud it won't be mine anymore and it would ruin it. On the plus side I'm never bored and perfectly content to just be - I can sit with my own thoughts for hours.

There's nothing I need to escape from particularly, I have a full life: husband, kids, fulltime job. I just like the fantasy.