Who is unreasonable? what does MN think of this?

[ollieplimsoles]

this story just broke on social media, (hope you can all see it)

www.facebook.com/donna.m.beegle/posts/816056981803855

That is the mothers account of what happened, very mixed responses from the commenters, what does everyone think?

Here is a news report of it:
7online.com/news/parents-plan-legal-action-after-daughter-with-autism-kicked-off-flight/713012/

Other people have said they found online comments offensive.

I merely said I can understand the food thing.

No idea why you should engage in such a lengthy and personal attack.

The girl is like my daughter.

So the comments and the whole thing fucking scares me. Do you get it?

No obviously not.

Fanjo it's a subject close to many people's hearts, including myself. Did you miss the part where I said I have autism?

I have read lots of your posts about this in the past and that's just how I feel. Your posts always come across like you're talking down to people and dismissing their feelings.

Even when they themselves have autism or have children with autism your posts still come across that way. I know I have been very upset by your posts on several occasions and felt like you were saying my feelings about my disability don't matter.

Maybe you don't mean to come across that way and maybe I'll regret posting how I really feel but that's just how it comes across to me.

Well. Practically everything I post is meant to help people with autism and awareness and generally fight for them.

But anyway. You shall be upset no more.

Because I am leaving.

Boney are your saying that the mother should not have flown at all? Even though she's taken her on many planes before?

Maybe the mother could have handled it better. But so too could the flight attendants. it was a situation that needed to be defused and a bowl of rice would have done it.

I've been on flights where there have been some really difficult people; the staff have always handled it well and sought to find a quick win resolution to prevent escalation. Clearly this didn't happen in this case.

Fanjo since when is telling people their posts often upset you a personal attack?

I have read a lot of downright nasty things online but I don't think anyone on this thread was being delibretley nasty.

I'll say it again, but I have ASD and I still feel like your posts do come across like you're talking down to people and I have felt that way personally about your posts in the past.

I'm sorry for speaking up when people or things upset me though. Apparently other people are allowed to post when others upset them but I'm not allowed to do the same thing...

Your last post kind of just proves my point.

I didn't say people were nasty
I said there was a lack of autism awareness and understanding.

If someone upsets me a lot I would PM them or ignore them
Not humiliate them on a thread.

Anyway goodbye.

Tizwailor I get that but can people not just explain nicely instead of talking down to people?

After all,t here isn't a person on earth who know every single thing to know and everyone is ignorant about something.

I'm sorry but that's just how I feel and the impression I've always got from her posts.

You see, I don't understand this. Other people are allowed to say when things upset them even if it isn't always rational yet when I do it I'm overreacting?

I can't believe my "here we go" comment was deleted though but whatever.

Okay I've just re-read my posts and I think I may have come across as harsh and for that I apologise.

I am feeling very upset and vulnerable today especially. I have always been made fun of or bullied to some extent and over the past two days alone I've had to listen to two "darling" relatives take the piss out of me because of the things I do and my quirks. And of course they called me a "weirdo" and "should just act normal" and pull myself together for good measure.

And worse still my own mother (who is normally supportive) just sat there and did nothing and then when I cried afterwards and told her how upset I was was told to just get a grip and stop being silly.

I guess I'm just upset because I was ganged up and bullied and had my feelings dismissed. And this is normal for me and happens all the time.

And now I'm crying again because I just want to be normal (whatever the fuck that is) and that will never happen.

I know I'm a failure and a bad person, it seems there is always someone there to tell me that.

And I'm sorry for anyone who I've upset. I'll leave now.

I think that the airline were not unreasonable in their attitude. I think its very easy to become sucked in to an emotive topic and see it from the eyes of a tired mother with a SN child. However, you need to also see it from the view of an air line who are responsible for the safety of 100's of passengers, including the teenager concerned.

From the airlines point of view
Mother in economy asks for a hot meal for her child, a request that happens a lot. You explain that she can't have one because hot meals only in first class. Mother starts saying shes a platinum card holder so you have to give her a meal. She says that her daughter has Autism and needs a hot meal. You explain that she can't have one . The reason for this is due to a limited number of hot meals on board the but the Mother is becoming irate thus making you unable to put your point across correctly.

You offer a hot chicken sandwich. This isn't right. Meanwhile other passengers are requiring your attention.

Mother is becoming more angry. Then starts spouting off about her daughter scratching & having a meltdown. You don't know what extent this scratching/meltdown is and to whom it will be. Regardless of any SN you need to asses the danger to other passengers. If the teenager becomes irate then cabin crew wont be able to restrain, someone gets hurt.

Inform the captain - as will be required. The captain decides they can't take the risk. Captain radios through to ground control. Plane diverted.

In the meantime you have a left over hot meal - give it to teenager to help prevent melt down.

If the mother hadn't mentioned the 'meltdown' or 'scratching' and had been less 'mouthy' perhaps the cabin crew would have been able to have had a proper conversation with her rather than causing such issues.

You cannot act in such an aggressive manner on planes.

FWIW I have food requirements which I informed an airline of in advance. I was given a standard meal - despite repeatedly saying are you sure this is xyz free and being assured it was. I ended up be horrendously ill. My other half was fuming, but he remained calm because acting aggressively on planes will get you kicked off - and quite rightly so.

to Toads and Fanjo. Please make up.

I have no idea why so many are saying the mother WBU based on the video and two accounts. (What is the problem with the video? I don't read much into the body language at all.) I'm not sure what more she could have done to prepare her daughter for the flight - she tried to feed her beforehand, she brought food with her, and both were rejected. American economy cabins are very limited - think Ryanair. Flying first class isn't an option for most.

I only speak from my dealings with a toddler, who can refuse food all day then suddenly be enraged that there isn't one particular thing, now - it sounds somewhat similar, but in an almost grown woman.

I agree with pp that mother describing the scratching was in an attempt to get the flight attendant to take her seriously.

It's a horrible airline, crap company, the staff are relentlessly officious, and I don't find this difficult to believe at all.

I don't know why folk are so sure that airline staff are infallible and wouldn't overreact or ever get things wrong. American airport staff and airline staff have a reputation for being bolshy and difficult at times.

Don't know what really happened here but don't see how folk are so sure either way. And as for the mother covering all bases and always being prepared - sometimes things just don't go according to plan and you can't account for every situation.