Who is unreasonable? what does MN think of this?

[ollieplimsoles]

this story just broke on social media, (hope you can all see it)

www.facebook.com/donna.m.beegle/posts/816056981803855

That is the mothers account of what happened, very mixed responses from the commenters, what does everyone think?

Here is a news report of it:
7online.com/news/parents-plan-legal-action-after-daughter-with-autism-kicked-off-flight/713012/

Morning all,

Just to confirm that we have indeed banned that poster, and their rather cunningly disguised re-reg.

Thanks for all your reports, and thanks too to everyone who sprang to the defence on the thread - it's good to see people supporting each other, even when they don't always see eye to eye.

Hopefully the discussion can get back on track now.

Shit what has happened to this thread! :(

I'm really sorry for the posters who were personally attacked, its just not on at all

I agree with PPs that reading the mum's facebook comments under her story is pretty grim, loads of trolls who are being really unsympathetic (at best) to parents of autistic children..
I tried to look for some updates on the family's lawsuit against the airline but I don't know how its going.

This whole thing issue is really interesting.

My DC have no SN. They're just fussy little sods when it comes to food. Flying and getting them fed is a nightmare. It is REALLY hard to get food suitable for them on an airline.

There can be problems with communications - on a very recent flight to the US (British Airways) only one of my DSs was listed for a children's meal.

The children's meals also leave a lot to be desired - Adult breakfast was a croissant - children's breakfast was fruit salad. I mean, really????

Asian airlines have an Asian option and a Western option - the Asian options are far too spicy for my DC (and really, I can't face the thought of spicy steamed fish with noodles for breakfast as an adult - I rather imagine very few children would stomach it)

I've long since faced the fact that I have to travel with snacks, and just deal with the fact that they will pretty much be carbed out on bread, crackers and biscuits, with some apple juice on the side.

But - they're happy for that to happen. And, as they are getting older (8 and 5 currently) they are gradually getting better.

If I had to deal with additional issues I'm not sure what I would do - not fly?! Never let my DC see their family on the other side of the world?

Sadly - if there was a risk of my children being violent, then that is the choice I would make.

the person I care for is an adult now, and we have always had to plan in advance, we know what they will need, so we plan it. with sn planning in advance is a given.

I cannot see a time when I will be able to take ds on a plane. Too much potential for problems makes it not worth it.

mine has been. but that was part of an organised group (HCPT) so easy.
I will never take them as even getting them on the plane would be impossible.(wheelchair)

I'm not defending the airline but I do wonder why the parents did not plan ahead as it sounds like it was a planned trip. I am physically disabled and when I fly, I book special assistance to avoid sitting on a plane and panicking about how I'm going to get off when I know there are steps at the other end. Not sure how this is any different.

You know, you can plan all you want but sometimes (actually fairly often with air travel) it just all goes tits up and no amount of planning can cover everything. Maybe they didn't plan well, maybe they did and thought they had it covered.

Awful to see how the mother is blamed by so many.
It doesn't take a genius to see how easy it would be to get frustrated in a situation like this.
The video doesn't show anything concrete. The body language of the mother makes her look pissed off, but who wouldn't be?
I have a child with asd and despite planning things to the nth degree, you cannot plan for all eventualities.
The mother was trying to explain why her dd needed a hot meal, describing what would happen during meltdown was not threatening violence, she was simply trying to explain why the hot meal was important.

Yes, I can't see what the video is supposed to prove. Body language? I think folk are just really imaginative.

I didn't see anything off in that video either. But I'm hopeless at reading body language so I didn't comment earlier in case I was wrong.

But bambam the mothers point was her daughters issue was predictable- if she didn't get a meal she'd have a meltdown

I can't see anything in that video either. I can see that the other passengers look shocked eg why is this family being removed. I can see that the mother looks a bit bewildered. That's it.

Elton - I don't get your point. I imagine perhaps the mum intended to get the daughter a hot meal but something just didn't go right. I wasn't there , I don't know all the details, personalities , words and attitudes that went on. So I am not jumping to any conclusions as so far I have seen nothing that proves anything either way.

Elton at that point it may have been predictable but hours before when changes could have been made, it wasn't.

I can't definitely say when my ds will have a meltdown. The further into the future I look the less I can accurately predict. Sometimes it comes out of the blue. Other times I can be certain about an hour before or less.

That's the nature of things like autism. I can see some of the things that upset him but others I can't because they are things that only he notices or is affected by.

Sometimes it can take days for a stressor to come to a head. If one stressor gets mixed in with another you get unpredictable results.

My impression from reading her account is her daughter never ate cold food and had to have hot. Therefore it was well known, well
In advance of the flight, she would need some hot food. I understood bambam to be saying that autistic children were unpredictable so you can't always plan. I don't doubt this to be true but it doesn't appear to be the case here.

Maybe she refused her hot dinner or wasn't hungry at the time. Maybe they got stuck in unforeseen queues and missed the chance of grabbing a hot meal. Maybe the hot meal place was too busy or closed. I really don't know, just like everyone else.

I think they offered her hot food before the flight but she wouldn't eat it.

I read she had tried to get her daughter to eat a hot meal before the flight and she had taken snacks but the child refused to eat them? My ds2 has asc he will just not eat if he doesn't want to, he is underweight abd gas gastro issues as well, so it's not good but I can't force feed him. But if he then decided he did want to eat and there was nothing he considered suitable available then yes he would have a meltdown. I could plan all I want but if it's not what ds2 decides he wants at that moment I am screwed. Plus on a cramped flight with all the sensory overload that provides, the change in routine from travelling, etc.. It's a recipe for disaster no matter how much I plan.

The mother said that this had never been an issue before. I've only skim-read her post so I may have missed something, but it take this to mean one of two things:

1. The dd has always eaten a hot meal before the flight so it was never an issue.
2. The airline has always been able to accommodate her dd's need for a hot meal so it was never an issue. Either way she does not deserve to be demonised. A hot meal was offered before the flight, the dd refused it. My son will sometimes stop eating. I cannot predict when this will happen, but I can predict that of he misses meals he will become more volatile. If this happened before the return trip home from a holiday, I would be doing as the mother did, begging for a meal that my child needed.