Who is unreasonable? what does MN think of this?

[ollieplimsoles]

this story just broke on social media, (hope you can all see it)

www.facebook.com/donna.m.beegle/posts/816056981803855

That is the mothers account of what happened, very mixed responses from the commenters, what does everyone think?

Here is a news report of it:
7online.com/news/parents-plan-legal-action-after-daughter-with-autism-kicked-off-flight/713012/

I think "faces autism" means she doesn't yet have a diagnosis, but I'm probably wrong and it means that she is on the autistic spectrum....a difference in phrases across the Atlantic.

I think the family have been lucky previously: their requests for hot food have been met, but not this time. Sounds like a flight attendant was having a bad day, and exaggerated to the captain.

I think the parents had been lulled into a false sense of security on previous flights.

If anyone should be bringing a law suit, it's the other passengers who were inconvenienced by the the delay.

I read that thinking all the way through that a lot of the fault lies with the mother.
I say this as a parent of two children with sn and could have huge food issues on a plane with one of them and we made arrangements accordingly when we flew long haul last year.
If you know it is going to be an issue book a hot meal, I wouldn't have flown without knowing what the situation would be. I plan for every eventuality, I would rather pay for a meal that got wasted or shared out among the rest of us than end up in that situation and find that my child wouldn't eat at the airport or whatever.

She appears to have basically threatened the staff to get a meal for her daughter and comments seem to say that the conversation with flight attendants was long and heated.

Nightmare mother, poor kid.

Reading around I think the pilot had no choice.

The weird thing is that in the video the daughter looks really calm. I don't think you can threaten violence on an airplane anymore, even implicitly (she'll get violent if she doesn't get x). I think it's just too far. Especially for a 15 year old.

I think this mum sounds like she needs help.

Ridiculous situation, not planning, blaming others and creating a huge drama.

That poor girl and her dad.

I'm with the pilot.

I felt like the mother was being unreasonable- she flew lots of times before with her daughter and knew what she was like with food. She said she has refused her dinner earlier but didnt say whether it was hot or cold. Passengers have said they felt uncomfortable because of the mother's behaviour, not the daughter.

Diverting and offloading costs the airline a fortune. The airline is in business to make money, not spend it, so they won't have done this unless they thought they had to.

So many variables really. Is the mother a bit bolshy and looking for problems? Did she exaggerate her daughters possible reaction and it came back to bite her? Did she explain on boarding that they'd tried, and ask nicely?

I think "faces autism" means she doesn't yet have a diagnosis, but I'm probably wrong and it means that she is on the autistic spectrum....a difference in phrases across the Atlantic.

She's apparently been diagnosed since 3.

I read 'faces autism' as 'has to deal with having autism'

Again though, I don't think there was the option of planning ahead and ordering a meal. They didn't want hot food in economy class. Period.

I've no idea about the mother or her motivations but the conversation with the staff should have gone like this.

Mum :Hi, can I get a hot meal for my daughter?

Staff :I'm sorry but we don't serve hot food in economy.

Mum :yes but my daughter is autistic. She's hungry and she'll only eat hot food.

Staff: okidoki. Give me two minutes.

End of

She shouldn't have had to lay it on thick to get them to understand. I think prejudice would absolutely lead the pilot to land. Too many people already think autistic people land in two categories, quiet potential Einsteins or weirdos waiting to turn into rage monsters. Nothing in inbetween.

My son is autistic and I plan to the nth degree. I would have done more than what this mother seems to have done. Though we don't know how many options were available to her . However that doesn't excuse the airline.

*I've no idea about the mother or her motivations but the conversation with the staff should have gone like this.

Mum :Hi, can I get a hot meal for my daughter?

Staff :I'm sorry but we don't serve hot food in economy.

Mum :yes but my daughter is autistic. She's hungry and she'll only eat hot food.

Staff: okidoki. Give me two minutes.

End of*

Really? You don't think that leaves the airline open to any form of abuse?

If her daughter had to have a hot meal, why did she book to fly with an airline that doesn't serve hot meals?

I agree it was the belligerent mother who was ejected, not the disabled child. A pilot doesn't have to be pushed beyond endurance. If some people thought it was right, it probably was!

*i just don't get the language because she is a child with autism, so autism is apart of her, a child who has autism, does not face autism, this child autism is apart of her, like anyone with a disability, they don't face autism, they live with the disability as if its a extra limb so to speak, i don't know if this is correct terminology, ds has life threatening allergies, acute asthma and more etc... his illnesses are just a part of him, yet personally I don't think we face them... nor does he tbh, its just part of him.

i don't know how to word this tbh.*

Agree. Replace "autism" with "girl". We don't "face" being female......

soapbox

It wouldn't end there though, others would ask for a meal and it could really get difficult for staff and passengers.

The sandwich that the girl was given was a hot sandwich but it apparently wasn't hot enough.

So the staff did try before the mother started with the scratching herself and others.

Altinkum there are people who feel that autism is a beast that had stolen their child. Not helped by charities such as autism speaks who promote this idea through rather odd advertising material.

I agree with you in that my son's autism is part of who he is but not everyone sees autism that way.

Go first class. Simple. Or don't travel or drive etc
Lots of options. Choosing an option that does not provide what you clain to need and then threatening scratching isn't reasonable.
She could be billed for the plane dversion.

That's like saying we can't let people with disabilities/in wheel chairs on first because everyone will want to be on first too.

If it becomes a problem then put procedures in place, such as declaring autism on the booking page, but unless the airline has been inundated with requests for free hot meals by people claiming to be autistic, i don't think they can claim is an issue.

My friends have a daughter they suspect has autism (currently going through the process of diagnosis). She cannot bear the cold. So they do what it takes to keep her warm. Not that easy when she also doesn't like the bulkiness of padded winter coats. I would hope by the time she's 15 that they would have developed coping strategies for potentially difficult situations, rather than demand rules be changed immediately or else.

I don't believe for a moment that an airline or it's pilot would divert a plane, incurring costs and knowing the bad publicity it can bring would do it just because.

Airlines won't just give meals out, that haven't been paid for because some one says their child needs one. The assumption would be that if you child needs one you would either have fed her earlier or contacted the airline before hand to discuss options.

I travel with my disabled mum and sil who both might need certain things, depending on how they feel that days both of them can be ok one day and then very bad the next. We always call the airlines to make them aware and find out what can be done. On every flight the attendant s have been aware and asked if we need any of the arranged assistance. It's never been a problem. But then we make them know and are not rude about it.

What is it with blaming the mother?? Dad was there..allegedly.. does the parenting have nothing to do with him?? makes me bloody angry when people blame the mother in cases/stuff like this.

Anewyear yes he is there but he's not the one creating a scene is he?

I don't think it's been mentioned upthread, but airlines don't tend to carry spare meals. They would have had to wait and see if any were unwanted in First - or maybe the captain gave up his to make his crew's life easier while he diverted.

If this is an internal US flight then there is usually very little food provision in the economy cabin, most people just bring their food on. There are plenty of places to pick up food in Houston. The mother could have picked up a hot meal in a bag.

First class is often only a few rows and quite a limited menu.

The cabin crew on internal United flights can be good but often not, it tends to depend on the route but they are not known for their high levels of customer service (they are very good at splitting up families)

From what I have read online and what I know about United and air travel in general, IMO the mother got over excited and because of what she said her daughter might do the pilot had no choice but to divert. Yes the cabin crew could have been more helpful, but I think that they refused as often passengers try it on.

For instance on a 5 hour internal flight last year one lady passenger was in first class and her son (adult) was in the first row of economy, she created merry hell to try and get him moved to sit next to her (first class was full) we were delayed by over 30 minutes whilst she was calmed down by her son. If this had happened mid flight I am sure the flight would have diverted.