to have booked this restaurant?

[BunnyLebowski]

We have a favourite local restaurant that we don't get to go to very often. We took my parents last time they visited us and while my Dad really loved it, my mum didn't. The reason? Because it is sharing plates (bigger than tapas, not Spanish and we always order enough to feed 5000) and the food comes as it's ready. She wanted traditional starter + main.

They're over again in a few weeks and my DB and DSIL are visiting too. I've told DB lots about said restaurant, we're both foodies and he was keen to try so I've booked it again knowing my DM won't be happy (it's also very child friendly and we'll have 3 between us).

Context: my mother has an almost impressive history of ruining meals and occasions with her stinginess and passive aggressive strops when things don't go 100% her way. A few years ago she had too much to drink and made a big show of refusing to pay for a family meal that my poor Dad had wanted to treat us all too (they're very well off).

Anyway I booked the restaurant today. AIBU?

The only possible solution is to go to the restaurant without your mother. You will all have a lovely time and so will she, because she'll get to be a sacrificial lamb and martyr into the bargain - she'll love it! Bring her home some leftovers.

She sounds awful - reclaiming the tip left for the waiting staff is disgraceful, grasping behaviour.

It's the ideal time and place. The OP says she has history and form for being unpleasant, hurtful and spoiling occasions such as meals out. She says her mum would be critical wherever they chose because she doesn't like eating out.
The OP also says her dad loved the restaurant and that her brother (a fellow foodie) is eager to try it out. They are all keen to go!

Please explain how it is not the time or the place?

Mum doesn't have to go - she can't bloody well expect to stop everyone else from going!

The time is whenever the table is booked for and the place is the restaurant in question. Nice one.

If I were the OP I'd elaborate on my assertion and politely tell mum that if she is unable to come along without souring the atmosphere, then she may as well stay at home.

it means that the OPs issues with her mother get to be played out with the DP, the DF and the DB and DSIL with the 3 children as witnesses too.

does the OP want a nice night out?

Oh god book it. My mum is like this. I don't much like her either.

Agree beforehand that drinks are on YOU and buy lots of them. :)

You could ring in advance Ms ask if they'll do a special for your mum ie prawn cocktail and chicken in a basket ;)

The time and place? To address her personal issues with her mother?

Not a family meal, IMO.

She has no right to ruin it for everyone, neither does her mother.

You sound as bad as each other. You have already taken her once to this place knowing that she doesn't like sharing plates. And now you are going to take her back.

"she's not a Toby Carvery kind of person. She enjoys good food." from the OP's second post

so WHY is everyone on this passive aggressive "prawn cocktail/chicken in a basket" thing

The moral high ground is to go to a nice place that does not have sharing plates.