To ask this reception teacher to back down?

[kathryng90]

My son will be 5 in June. He is in reception. They are having a teddy bear picnic tomorrow. Text message yesterday warning parents 'bring your child's favourite bear to school'. My son loves his build a bear toothless dragon bear. He told his reception teacher how excited he was to bring this toy to school. He was sobbing as he came out of school and teacher said to me 'DS is sad as he has said he wants to bring toothless to school tomorrow. He can't. It's a teddy bear picnic not a dragon picnic. Our theme is goldilocks and the 3 bears not 3 dragons. Find a bear'

He is so upset, toothless is his favourite bear. I have suggested that we take toothless plus a teddy bear. AIBU to ask teacher to let toothless sit on desk and watch while bear joins in? Or am I undermining teacher? Another compromise? He's 4 ffs.....

Torys!

I blame Thatcher

Lila

But what do you think about my point about it not really being about bears, but about picnics

Goldilocks and the 3 bears don't even have a picnic, so it's not factually correct!

sorry ^^ was to Lilac

Write her a note saying that this is clear discrimination against Dragon!

There bloody well better be porridge at this picnic, is all I can say!

Why the confusion?

It's from build a bear.

Something can be important in different ways Onlylovers. For the teacher she may have been doing a couple of weeks of bear themed and based activities, using discussion topics centred round bears, their characteristics, linked it to literacy discussion of stories about bears about the ethical and behavioral questions in the Goldilocks tale, maths sorting measuring counting. linked it to social chat about what is appropriate or not in certain social situations - and set up many learning and discussion opportunities for the children (Of course she might have come into work and thought 'what the hell shall I do today I have nothing planned, I know I do a teddy bears picnic' but since she will have had to write up her plans and submit them and explain the learning intent behind them that is unlikely.)

That is why it will be important for her because she has thought about how to offer the best learning experience to her entire class of children. Its important to OP's DS because he wants to do what he wants to do and bring in an irrelevant toy.

There are degrees of importance and sometimes an individuals personal preference has to be overridden by what benefits the greater number. Toddlers think the world revolves around them, they are only aware of their own needs and wants. As children reach school age they start to learn that there are other people in the world and their needs must also be considered, everything is no longer about them - it's an important developmental progression, they learn about dealing with disappointment and negotiation and seeing the world from others viewpoint as well as their own, and about following instructions even though they might not feel like it at the time.

A bear is a bear not a dragon, I really don't understand why any sane person would call a dragon a bear.

I get similarly bemused at wildlife parks / zoos when I hear parents saying look at the 'monkeys' whilst pointing at lemurs, or 'lion' whilst standing at a tiger enclosure.

If the OP's child doesn't understand that a dragon isn't a bear, then the OP should explain and stop using incorrect descriptions.

Build a Bear don't call it a bear
They don't have it on the bear section of their website.
So as far as they are concerned it is not a bear.

It's from Build a Bear.

Not i'm going to boots to get some new shoes.

Kurri

That's a really good point

I suppose I am making an assumption about the LI of a picnic being about the picnic, not the bears

When someone earlier said about teachers leaving the profession because of parents, I was going to comment that actually maybe it's about the anxiety created by the pressure to be so rigidly welded to the learning outcome, not the child's needs. Pressure can make some people too rigid, and lose sight of the child.

(I do also take the point that children need to learn to conform to the greater good of the group)

Which is why I might not make a fuss about it

I have not perhaps been as clear as I wanted. Hope you get the gist

Kurri that's a really good post. Thoughtful and thought-provoking.

Take the dragon and this bear and start a conversation about diversity

Well if everyone is going to be pedantic about it the teacher shouldn't have asked children to bring a favourite teddy. What about children who don't have teddies, what about children who only have a teddy they don't like. If she wants it to be exact she should make more of an effort herself.

As for what is appropriate in a social setting, well excluding dragons just isn't on, if you are having a social gathering at school dragons should have as much right to attend as bears. What is so special about bears? Why should they be favoured? What about children from cultures where they don't have bears? This is all very troubling, children might be damaged by sitting down at a picnic with a bear or with a dragon or with both. What about their diets, do we know what bears eat. Oh hang on a minute they are stuffed toys aren't they. I think the teacher needs to grow up and 4 year olds should be allowed to be children.

I think it is hilarious that people are commenting about future employment implications of taking a dragon to school instead of a dragon.

When I was home schooling mine someone said I should send them to school as they had to learn about life being miserable or they wouldn't be able to cope with work.

It's from Build a Bear.

That doesn't make it a bear. The store is called Build a Bear because it initially only sold bears. It now sells other animals; they're hardly going to change their name to "Build a Random Stuffed Creature." If you visit their website, you will see that they have a category called "stuffed animals" and then subcategories for things like bears, rabbits, etc. They do not refer to everything they sell as a bear.

Target doesn't sell targets, Walmart doesn't sell walls, Home Depot doesn't sell homes. It's just a name.

The teacher's being a mini-Hitler.

For stating that "bring a bear" means "bring a bear"?

steff

I think whoever said that was joking

granny

Yes, that's part of my point too. If it's about Goldilocks, they don't have a picnic!

Anally retentive though I naturally am, I still can’t imagine anyone enforcing a strict bears-only rule at a teddy-bears picnic for four year olds. Mind you, I’ve given Lego critters goodnight kisses.

I’d have been tempted to give the teacher a pitying look and say “well Toothless is a bear for all practical purposes. I suppose he doesn’t look much like one but then teddies don’t look much like real bears do they?”

And this thread has given me some much-needed belly laughs. Whether it’s satirical letters begging tolerance for a Dragon in Transition or po-faced descriptions of the educational benefits of bears-only themed activities for four year olds.

Kleinzeit:

“well Toothless is a bear for all practical purposes. I suppose he doesn’t look much like one but then teddies don’t look much like real bears do they?”

True

I think it's petty and the teacher also needs to pick her battles.

DS1 used to sleep a jelly-tot teddy (about 1cm tall) beside him on the pillow when he was about 4. Now that's a teddy

This thread is a riot! OP, I hope your son took Toothless to the picnic and had a lovely time. You can bet your life there were a mixture of bears/bunnies/random stuffed animals. The teacher was being ridiculously rigid.