AIBU to be gopping mad at this woman who posted my DCs party invite on social media!?

[VodkaVomitANDPoo]

I made some daft invites to look like magazine covers for DCs upcoming birthday to use up a load of old photo paper.

I found it odd that I was getting text message acceptances and requests to bring siblings from mothers of children I had never heard of- when quizzed the same name came up and a mention of a Social Networking site.

It turns out one of the mother's of a child in Dc's class took a photo of the invite (which had date/time/venue)on her wall and posted it on FB under an event (wtf?)

I've hired the venue out privately and am panicking the party will be ruined, we will end up in the local paper because 200 kids turn up wanted to be entertained and fed.

I asked the mother directly and she denied it and I have no proof (screen shot etc) although I am STILL getting texts

DC will be heartbroken if I cancel I just do not know what to do for the best. The last thing I'd want it having to stand by the venue door for 3 hours instead of joining in a celebrating a birthday- It wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact my child will be 7 but this is the first time we've ever held a party.

Any advice on how to handle would be greatly appreciated.

I agree with the poster above- you need to either have somebody on the door with a list of invited guests, and/ or give some kind of physical token (not the original invite, as someone may have printed it from FB) to the invited children to bring along.

And the poster at the entrance suggestion is a good idea too.

So if she didn't share the invite, why would she expect a flurry of contact????? Hmmmm.

What a freaking weirdo.

I like the bouncer idea, with a list ticking names off. There can be no confusion then. Ask a couple of parents of your DC's friends to man the door, they won't mind if you tell them what InviteZilla has done!

I would text back asking why she thinks the police would be interested. She is the one that invited her mates, not you. All she has to do is post on her fb she has fucked up.

time for a PA text back "oh don't worry hon, as you've told me you weren't the one to share the invite, you won't be the one they are contacting. X"

I suspect that she thought she could get away with piggybacking her own child's birthday party onto yours, not realising how that would backfire on her.

I also suspect that she's utterly pissed off and mortified that she's been found out but is brazening it out, although not so much that she's bringing her child to the party after all (phew!)

I think you DO need to have someone on the door with a list - you could suggest people bring their own invitation along but it's not that hard to print it off the internet if it's still out there anywhere, so the list is the only secure way to go with it. It's a pain and not what you'd want - but you're going to have to do it, or accept that there will be too many people there.

How bizarre. You need to inform the venue and have a name list. If the kids not on the list they're not coming in.

And please text her with what DinosaurRoar said

Oh you definitely need to send dinosaur's reply. What a complete weirdo. How stressful for you. (but very entertaining for us - sorry).

Yes - what DinosaursRoar said.

I'm sure there must be some kind of violation going on here but not sure what! It seems outrageous that someone can photograph an invitation to someone else's event, then set up a FB event for it under their own account, then invite a bunch of other people to it - it's sort of fraudulent but not really because no money was lost, exactly, but it's still not right! Maybe school should be notified as a sort of "look what someone has done, is there anything you can say to ensure this sort of thing doesn't happen to anyone else" exercise?

Imagine if everyone started doing that!

Mind you OP, next time you'll make sure the invitations have names on, both of birthday child and invitee, won't you!

Utterly weird. I think she was indeed trying to piggy back her DCs birthday party onto yours by stealth. loveareading's suggestion of big posters at the venue definitely. Physical token also a good idea. Laughable that she accuses you of harassment for saying that people she lied to will be told to contact her if they have queries.

OP, Please, please update the thread after the party

What a strange woman.

Harassment? From her friends? asking why they have been turned away from a party she's invited them too?
So she's going to contact the police about her own friends. OP please allow some MNers to come and watch the fun unfold.

Is it too late to change the venue? Just let those who you actually invited know.

The people who text you, what did they say once you explained? Are they still planning on coming?

This is so weird.

OP - how many replies are you getting? Its just that once an "event" is on FB it can he shared,and shared again - well beyond the original cirlcle. So depending on the invite people may have no idea it is meant to be a small children's party.

If this is a big well known venue then you could end up with literally hundreds of kids. I know this is suggested far too much on here, but maybe phone 101 for advice and definitely contact the venue. This does have the potential to get really out of hands with loads of pissed off parents on the day etc.

I would also report this to the police via their 101 number. If anything does get out of hand on the day, there will be a record of you reporting the issue and mentioning the source of the problem. Then once you have done that, tell the woman who shared the post that you have logged this with the police and should any issues arise on the day of your DC's party as a result of her, quite frankly, brass neck behaviour, the police will be knocking on her door instead of yours.

That should be enough to have her go round and withdraw the invitation as a matter of urgency.

Maybe the police involvement sounds over the top, but surely that is a better option than risking a bust up in front of children. Plus, it will make you look responsible to the venue. After all, you don't want them cancelling your booking for fear of potential issues that could harm their business.

You hear all to often nowadays of parties advertised on social media getting out of hand. You made a conscious effort to avoid this nonsense by handing out the invites personally, yet someone else has potentially ruined this for your DC by publicly posting this without your permission.

When is the party? and where so I can bring my 2 dc

Police involvement is over the top. If you have a problem it is quicker to ring 999 if you have an emergency and state there is a disturbance. it takes time to read through a previous report and it only delays things.

It is not a police matter. I don't know why every problem has advice to ring 101. If however people turn up and things get nasty then that will be a police matter.

She just doesn't seem the type to freeload a bloody Bday party- this would NEVER have occurred to me.

I had about eleven responses via text and I've kept all their numbers

Phoning 101 for advise is a really good idea.
Think of the parties we see in the news that can get out of hand.