To want to scream in the face of those who say "he/she had a MELTDOWN"

[Skeeter3]

Just no, ok!?

The frequent current misconception that even a big tantrum is in any way comparable to an actual meltdown REALLY boils my piss!!!!!

Yes tantrums can be unpleasant and distressing for all parties BUT they're still not meltdowns.

It demeans those that are dealing with medically defined meltdowns.

The more the word is used to describe a normal childhood tantrum, the less people understand or are tolerant when a child does suffer a meltdown.

If you're guilty of this JUST STOP DOING IT!!!!!!!!!!!

Spot on NurseRoscoe

It's not a word I use but I take the meaning to be tantrum. It's not a medical term. Stop being ridiculous.

I see numbers are growing for RTFT

Hey slithytove I'm on that old thread and I'm blethering the same stuff I am on here.

YABU.

I'll use what ever word I like to describe my child having an uncontrolled emotional outburst thank you. You are not the word police.

You really do not have to be autistic to have a meltdown. You really do not have to have an autistic child to describe their behaviour as a meltdown.

You really have to be very very silly to think you can tell other people when they can and can't use the word meltdown.

There is no genuine medical definition of "meltdown"

there is a widely accepted definition, accepted by medical and non medical people alike that it is a child totally losing control of themselves.

That happens in autistic, and in non autistic children.

I just don't get why the OP thinks she is qualified to say whether someone else's child has had a meltdown.

I also don't get why she thinks she is entitled to dictate what parents can use the word for.

She can't, quite simply. It isn't any of her business.

I do understand that there is a difference between a tantrum and an autistic meltdown, and therefore it must be very frustrating, but in that case I don't think 'meltdown' is the correct word to use. It's just too widely used already, and you can't expect to adopt a word and just expect everyone to adopt a new meaning automatically when your own definition is not even in the dictionary.

I think there probably does need to be a word to distinguish it, but 'meltdown' isn't it.

Some of the posters on this thread have been vile to the OP.

Saucy well why are you getting all humpty about what the OP said then

Weird - I wrote more in my post but it disappeared, leaving it making no sense!!

What I meant to say was...

Someone up thread suggested that you use the term autistic meltdown.

Ds is disabled, he has meltdowns.

However he isn't autistic, so would it be wrong to describe what happens as a 'meltdown'?

Because she wasn't particularly the one making that point at the beginning Fanjo. Read the thread.

It's insulting to describe anyone in emotional distress as having a tantrum- regardless of their age or whether they're on the autistic spectrum.

Very sensible Tizwaller I would imagine there is much more of a problem with meltdowns being dismissed as tantrums. I think that meltdown is relatively new in the special needs nomenclature (sp?) so it will be some time before the distinction is recognised. It's a bit like people saying 'I was demented' when they're not actually suffering from dementia... They are both words that can describe general states, but can also be applied to medical conditions/ So I think you will be happier if you learn to accept the fact that people will use this word to apply to a general tantrum (even if it still grates a bit)

"Parent of a child who has autism so I kind of get where you are coming from here, but I wonder if the OP is the wrong way round. I get frustrated when people refer to an autistic meltdown as a tantrum, it explains the difference well here.

www.understood.org/en/learning-attention-issues/child-learning-disabilities/sensory-processing-issues/the-difference-between-tantrums-and-sensory-meltdowns?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=understoodorg

I don't think we can commandeer the phrase completely though "

I have read it thanks.

Not sure why all the aggression directed at me either.

I think the issue is that you see tantrum as a pejorative word and I don't.

With all due respect Chumpster, that's a completely invalid comparison.

Dementia/demented were medical terms long before they entered colloquial usage.

The use of "meltdown" as a technical word for an ASD behaviour is the other way round.

I don't think "tantrum" is a pejorative word for an actual tantrum Fanjo.

It isn't an appropriate term for a meltdown tho, whether the person has ASD or not.

Since meltdown does have a very general accepted meaning already, YABVU to expect people to now stop using that word because a group of people have given it a medical definition that it did not previously have.

Find another word if the crossover bothers you.

DSM5 uses many words. That doesn't mean they are now defined as medical terms. Meltdown is a general term to describe an emotional collapse (among other things). A tantrum of the floor throwing, screaming, kicking kind is an emotional collapse, whether you wish to diminish this or not, and whether it is to do with not getting what they want or otherwise.

A nuclear meltdown or a financial meltdown are general terms and any community can't just hijack a general term and use it to beat other people up because they are having a difficult time themselves.

It's not easy having an SN child but it doesn't help your situation by minimising and despising other parents for using a generic term to describe their child's distress. YABVU OP.

I think part of the trouble is that tantrum just isn't a big enough word for some of the explosions that little children can go through. The dictionary definition is 'An uncontrolled outburst of anger and frustration, typically in a young child', but I know when dd2 used to have 'tantrums', she would be terrified, she would completely lose control, and it wouldn't necessarily be because she couldn't get her own way, afterwards she would be exhausted.

I think, because the word tantrum, has been used for things like 'tantrums and tiaras', it has become associated with just throwing a hissy fit, and having a bit of a strop.

Personally I would appreciate that when I say miniskeet had a meltdown for it not to be met with an "aww, terrible two's". Nope, see the chip missing from her tooth because she smashed her face on the dining table that's our meltdown.

I do understand, but until people stop also being able to say things like "my boss had a complete meltdown" or "the economy was in meltdown", with most people knowing just what that means in normal conversation, I don't think you'll ever get that while using the word 'meltdown' - it's just not available to be used exclusively that way.

It seems odd in a way for us to keep using a word whose original purpose was hyperbole, to exaggerate and dramatise, for something like this. Wouldn't a word like 'crisis' that conveys a person in need of help, not just a breakdown, be more powerful and useful anyway?

Yes you're right SaucyJack, it was a bad comparison. I'm a bit tired.
What I was thinking is that there's something about people using medical terms for non medical things, but agree that meltdown is newly adopted (apparently) for a specific thing whereas it's v v for dementia.
Agree with your point that tantrum would always be inappropriate for what is being described as a meltdown
.

I think instead of looking to hijack words in general use such as meltdown, for a specific event, such as an autistic crisis/emotion breakdown, and venting your spleen on people using a legitimate term for what they are experiencing (and I don't mean pouting and wingeing) look for a word which actually is specific and more 'medical' to use, such as crisis.

Fwiw a real autistic 'meltdown' is a thing apart and should be labelled as such. By calling them meltdowns you are actually minimising them and people will find it difficult to understand why you are stressing over something all kids do.

Mrs DV you are fab. Thank you for saying it better than I could

Not ALL autistic adults have 'meltdowns'.

I have Asperger's and am pretty even-tempered. I am rarely angry or frustrated but when it does happen, I physically remove myself from the situation or the person. If I can't, I just go very quiet.