To want to scream in the face of those who say "he/she had a MELTDOWN"

[Skeeter3]

Just no, ok!?

The frequent current misconception that even a big tantrum is in any way comparable to an actual meltdown REALLY boils my piss!!!!!

Yes tantrums can be unpleasant and distressing for all parties BUT they're still not meltdowns.

It demeans those that are dealing with medically defined meltdowns.

The more the word is used to describe a normal childhood tantrum, the less people understand or are tolerant when a child does suffer a meltdown.

If you're guilty of this JUST STOP DOING IT!!!!!!!!!!!

where's Showy? Where? Have I missed her?

OMG it's you! I KNEW Grantaire was a decent sort!

Bah. My radar is working after all ....

xxxxxx

Is it just me, or is anyone else slightly [shocked] at the posters earlier on the thread who were poking the OP by suggesting she was having a 'Meltdown' and other similar comments.
Ok, this is AIBU, but when a poster is evidently having a tough ride, and is posting about how she feels when people use the term meltdown in inappropriate situations, then surely it's nearing a personal insult to use the very same term back to OP?

An eminently sensible new poster, Maryz. That's something we don't get round here very often. Wonders will never cease.

chair I was pulled up by Lying for using the term "hard of thinking" to describe those mocking OP.

I believe in this case, it's clear for all to see. The AIBU mentality - Don't understand something so I must belittle and ignore any underlying issues.

Not sure why it's OK for people to be vile to OP then those objecting are.called "goady".

I think language is important and this is an interesting discussion. My 8-y-o doesn't have special needs but he does have what I call meltdowns, when things get too much. Sometimes he's angry, sometimes just upset and sobbing. He normally makes up a rubbish reason (I lost two mins of golden time last week) but generally it's just life. They're not tantrums but they're not meltdowns like have been described here.

chairmeoh no I was also shocked by those comments, really nasty bullying remarks. It's fine to disagree with the OP politely but a lot of these comments are plain spiteful. OP probably has a reason to feel emotional about this topic these posters are incredibly tactless.

I have a 3 year old who is being assessed for autism and developmental delay. It doesn't bother me a jot if people use the term "meltdown" in relation to a mega tantrum of a non additional needs toddler. Everyone knows what is implied and I think that's absolutely fine. I don't find it offensive at all.

Someone up thread suggested that you use the term autistic meltdown.

Ds is disabled, he has meltdowns.

For what it's worth I always distinguished meltdowns from tantrums. I would describe a meltdown as a time when someone has absolutely no control and no particular aim in mind, they've just completely lost the plot. Often with some kind of physical cause - hunger, tiredness, over stimulation. A tantrum is more manipulative or just a vent of anger because the kid really wants a chocolate cake or whatever.

Haven't read all the thread. My DD hasn't been diagnosed with any SN but I definitely thing a 7 year old sobbing uncontrollably to the point you think they might be sick and asking me to kill them or pull their arms off might justify a different description than calling it a tantrum. It happens after all when she is exceptionally tired and overwhelmed and can't take anymore upset/stimulus etc.

Twooddsocks

Your post describes the difference exactly

Skeeter

It sounds as it you are having a rough time , hopefully the next time you come on a support site you will get shown some understanding

I hope your dd is okay

What a lovely nuanced reply.

Father jack is alive and well.

It's an emotional topic for a lot of posters TwoOddSocks

One's child does not need to have ASD for you to find their behaviour distressing and challenging at times.

Suggesting that a non-ASD child is only ever just having a tantrum is diminishing.

Did someone mention drink????

No it isn't.

It is far more complex than that. Involving sensory issues etc. Sorry, but you don't understand what OP is meaning.

X posted. I was addressing saucy

I will read the comments in a minute, however this post is really irritating to me! Meltdown has no medical definition. It's a word used to describe a 'disastrous collapse or breakdown'.

It's the same with depression, people are perfectly entitled to say they feel depressed, that is a feeling. Depression however is a condition.

I am under no illusion that it is easy to cope with a person, child or adult who has autism or other learning disabilities. However trying to make other people feel awkward or guilty for using a word that isn't offensive is only alienating yourself and others going through similar from those who don't. People are generally more aware and accepting of these things nowadays (although you obviously get the odd few) and this sort of thing is creating that distance again! It can't be nice to have people talk to you and edge around your loved one's problems because they are too scared they may say something wrong, let people in and life gets a lot easier