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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find it very annoying when dh dishes out less food for me, as i'm a women

113 replies

CatSwag · 01/05/2015 11:16

and men need to eat more

he always does this,esp if we have a take away

I find it odd and controlling, while I get the men may need a few more calories
I have an active life, he works in an office

OP posts:
Original poster
CatSwag · 01/05/2015 11:16

woman obv

OP posts:
Stopandlook · 01/05/2015 11:18

Tell him you want more?

Original poster
CatSwag · 01/05/2015 11:18

woman

OP posts:
CMOTGilbertBlythe · 01/05/2015 11:19

Do you think he's just a greedy git? Dish out more for yourself next time.

MargotLovedTom · 01/05/2015 11:19

Well men generally do need more calories! Just dish your own food up and take however much you want. Labelling it as 'controlling' is OTT, IMO.

FernGullysWoollyPully · 01/05/2015 11:19

I'd LTB. Nothings coming between me and a decent meal....

Grin
EatShitDerek · 01/05/2015 11:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
CatSwag · 01/05/2015 11:20

I always do tell him
if I dish up I do an equal amount which annoys him

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 01/05/2015 11:20

Women need 500 calories less, on average.

DressingGownFrown · 01/05/2015 11:20

But for the most part men DO need more calories. What with being generally bigger and having a higher body% of muscle...

SunnySomer · 01/05/2015 11:20

I get why it's annoying; perhaps you should serve yourself in future?
However, my DH serves us equal portions (we are similar height and I am more active) and over the first three years we were together I gained 2 stones which was HARD to lose. (Think what I'm saying is: have equal shares at your peril!)

SwirlyThingAlert · 01/05/2015 11:20

Sounds like the excuse of a greedy git to me, and nothing to do with him being man, you being woman! Grin
Simple solution - YOU dish up and that way you get equal food!

OnIlkleyMoorBahTwat · 01/05/2015 11:21

Can't you dish out your own food? Is he giving you less takeaway so he can get more? Can't you just order more?

A takeaway (eg. curry and rice or fish and chips) does two meals for me but there's no way I'm letting DP have any of mine just because I don't want to eat it all in one go. I do want the rest of it, but just not right now.

What does he say when you ask him about it?

trice · 01/05/2015 11:21

Dh is 6ft 7 and obviously needs a lot more calories than I do. He doesn't get more take out though. I get first dibs on all tasty treats.

Eva50 · 01/05/2015 11:21

If you need to eat as much as him then tell him that. I dish out larger portions for dh, ds1 (19) and ds2 (17) than I do for ds3 (8) or myself as I have tested it whilst cooking we don't eat as much.

threenotfour · 01/05/2015 11:21

I had a friend who used to have us to dinner and cook delicious things and then only offer the seconds to my DH and her DH. Men only got seconds apparently. It was very annoying! She is a great cook and I wanted seconds too. haha

Original poster
CatSwag · 01/05/2015 11:22

i'm a 12 so ok not skinny but the other weekend we ordered a takeaway, usually have on, once aweek on a Saturday, I said oh think I will have a large kebab tonight
I was starving that day
and he went on one over it
saying oh that's so greedy etc etc

does it in front of dd too which I don't like

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 01/05/2015 11:23

Serve yourself. If it annoys him, too bad.

OrangeVase · 01/05/2015 11:23

You dish it out then.

Original poster
CatSwag · 01/05/2015 11:23

when I dish it up, he complains if he doesn't get more than me

OP posts:
OurGlass · 01/05/2015 11:25

God I feel sorry for men these days.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 01/05/2015 11:25

'Controlling'? That's a big and evocative word to use. I assume there's other issues OP?

If it is just about the takeaway, then get your own spoon, serve your own dinner, then have a chat about why the fuck it annoys him?

expatinscotland · 01/05/2015 11:25

Now that kind of talk in front of your DD I would lose my shit about. Tell him to stop. Pull him up on it. 'You don't dictate how much food I need. That's controlling and petty. Cut it out.'

expatinscotland · 01/05/2015 11:26

It is controlling if he is insisting he always gets more because he's the man. You tell him to stop.

CupidStuntSurvivor · 01/05/2015 11:27

If he gets annoyed when you dish up equal portions and his portion size is still big enough for him to be adequately fed, it's nothing to do with you needing fewer calories. He's just being a tit who feels he's entitled to more than you.