to say no

[findingithardtoday]

How many of you say no to sex from your partners? As the one with the low libido, it's always him that instigates it, which he resents. So, if I'm not in the mood, I'll say 'no thanks but I'll do xyz instead'. I get guilt trips, cold shoulders, snide comments, huffing until I end up giving in because I feel like an awful partner. I'll often not bother arguing and will just go ahead to avoid arguments but then I feel angry because if I want to say no, it shouldn't be an issue, unless I never say yes! It's always caused massive arguments, but they're getting worse. Currently, I'm told I'm 'cold and unloving and I don't care'

We probably have sex twice a week on average, with other favours thrown in. I work full time, plus another job. He works freelance but doesn't have any work on currently.

I'm at the point where I find the pressure and expectation to have sex is putting me off and I would happily embrace celibacy to avoid this guilt and feeling inadequate. The atmosphere is awful at the minute and I really don't want to go home following an argument last night

soapydopeybubbles DH and I too, I once felt like I'd forced DH into sex and it was the worst feeling in the world. He assures me that he wanted it in the end but I'd never want that again. I masturbate a lot.

I'm really surprised that sex twice a week is seen as low. I thought one a week/fortnight was about average in a long term relationship

Bumbling, have you read any of the thread? The OP has sex plus other things with her partner and he still sulks, makes snide remarks, gives her the cold shoulder etc until she gives in. He coerces her into sex with manipulation.

bumbling does your husband sulk, call you names and ignore your wishes about your own body until you have sex?